Discordian Q & A

[Agmen of Eladesor]

Is a hatter mad because he's mad, or is the mad a hatter because he's a hatter? Furthermore: Is the hat mad, or is the mad a hat?

Actually, hatters became mad because they were hatters. Before the days of Mal the Younger - even before the days of Jes the Older - hats were made not with buns, but of felt. The material, not the grab, so keep your hands to yourself. And the way they made felt was with a process that used mercury.

So the hatters would use felt made from mercury, and become poisoned by it. Mercury poisoning causes dementia. So while it's possible to be mad without being a hatter, most likely if you were a hatter then you were mad.

And as long as you keep cats from the hats, then the madness is contained. But once you put a cat in a hat, then you have a mad cat. Unless he was refrigerated, in which case he'd be a cool cat (but still mad).

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Oh god... The end of days... Agmen agreed with me.