The Search for Malaclypse

[Malaclypse 666]

Malaclypse rose and walked to the transparent wall overlooking the biodome. He placed an arm around John Henry's shoulders, feeling the tensions buried there. They both looked out on the vast desolate Yukon system for a silent moment.

"I think Baffin is a much prettier place, don't you, John?" Mal was rewarded with the tinge of a smile on the Ambassador's face, and a brief nod of agreement.

"John, when you first signed on with me and the TAZ, neither of us could have predicted the kind of hands we'd be dealt. When Eris is the Dealer, often you don't even know what stakes are on the table, or what the game is until the cards are dealt."

Holliday smiled again at the analogy to his favorite game. Mal guided Doc back to his seat next to Midori, and briefly touched her shoulder as well before returning to his own chair.

"Well, knowing our Goddess, it shouldn't surprise us that the game was 5-card Stud, with no draws.

"As my right hand on the Council of Zoners, you rose rapidly from "Aide" to Diplomat, to TAZ Ambassador;

"Your instincts to pursue medicine have taken you from frontier dentist to accredited Physician and Surgeon, responsible for creating the most advanced mobile Medical Center in known space."

Mal then looked at Mrs. Holliday before continuing.

"Your hand improved even more when you drew the "Queen", John. Somehow you managed to pluck the prettiest blossom from Kusari, becoming a husband and father." He bowed slightly to the blushing Midori.

"But then, I disappeared abruptly from the table, forcing Eris to adjust the deal, giving you two cards that should have been mine, old friend. For that, I hope you will accept my deep apologies, and my eternal gratitude.

"I believe that the fourth card has actually improved your hand, John. As TAZ Administrator, I can find no fault with your actions or your leadership. Baffin, and the TAZ, seem to have grown and flourished under your guidance. I ask you now to continue in that capacity, because I will not be returning to the TAZ."

To Mal's relief, Doc hesitated only briefly before nodding in the affirmative. Mal knew that it was the fifth card which really threw the wrench into Doc's hand, causing him to doubt the game's outcome. He chose his next words very carefully before continuing.

"John, I know full well that you never expected, nor wanted, to be the Spiritual Leader of Eris' Church. If anyone has failed in that duty, it is ME, not you. I plan to rectify that right now, by relieving some of your burden. I say "some", because the Law of Fives must still be given its' due, and any good poker player knows you have to play the hand you're dealt. Now, pretend I'm wearing my Robes, eh?"

Malaclypse rose and approached his seated friend. He placed his left hand on John's forehead, and raised his right hand in the familiar "23" symbol.

"As Episkopos Prime and Polyfather of the Church of Eris Esoteric, I do hereby Ordain Pope John Henry Holliday as High Priest of Baffin and the Temporary Autonomous Zoners, and Warden of the Temple of Eris! Skidoo!"

Instead of being relieved, Holliday sat stunned, confused, as if he'd just been dealt the Five of Turds. Mal had to stifle a laugh before speaking again. He sat down next to his friend and began to explain.

"John, the Titles are so much "eye candy", just as most of Discordianism is. I have just relieved you of any responsibility for the Souls and Pineals of your TAZ Brethren. I palmed the "Joker" and stole it back while you weren't looking. The "Flax stops here" again, my friend.

"However, there is still a Temple in Baffin to oversee and protect. And, Eris has blessed us with miracles which still require study and comprehension.. The Scrubbies, the Amulets, the Geode itself. There is an evolutionary 'synergy' at work in Baffin which we need to understand, and also to protect.

"As High Priest and Warden, those will be your only duties for the Church when I am away. I will return as often as possible; because Eris still lives in Baffin, Doc. Take good care of Her in my absence, and I am confident that She will protect and bless you all in return."

Doc seemed to relax a bit at his new "charge". Midori reached over and took his hand. "You do fine, John Henry!" she said lovingly. Doc's back straightened as he realized that his burden had lightened. "As you wish, Mal."

"Excellent! We've covered the Spiritual ramifications. Now for the "material" world." Mal turned to his old friend and business associate from Canaria.

"Reggie, I believe I owe you 25 Million Credits. Add to that a 50 Million Credit invoice for two fully-kitted Eagles for my "Deacons"; and my heartfelt apology to both you and Moira for leaving without a word."

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