Tales of the Admins

[Laowai]

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.


"Open the hatch!!!" Admin Laowai yelled at the blackness in front of him.

BANG BANG! KNOCK KNOCK!!!


A loud "CLANG" responded and a thin shaft of light shattered the darkness as a viewing window slid open. Admin Laowai squinted, shielding his eyes from the suddenly bright light.

"Who's that?" a voice from outside and beyond the light said.

"Er... Its me" Admin Laowai replied.

"Good answer smarty"... said the voice... "Who's me?"

"Admin Laowai!" Admin Laowai replied.

"Admin Who?" said the voice

"Laowai" Admin Laowai said again.

There was a grumbling sound.... "Wait a minute" said the voice and the viewing slat slammed shut again, plunging Admin Laowai into darkness once more. He sat back down on the cold metal floor of one of the holds in the lost battle star. Using the title always confuses them... the thought..... But its because there is this stupid Corsair with the same name and.....


CRACK!

The slat shot open again, the light stabbing back across the room. The voice called out. "Right, yes, you.... Whaddaya want?"


Admin Laowai paused for a moment. "Well, I was sent down here to clean... and... i think i fell asleep..."


"Clean??!" the voice said, "By who?"


"Admin Hoodlum" said Admin Laowai....

"Who?" said the voice.

Things must have really changed, thought Admin Laowai to himself. What could be happening above decks? How long had he been asleep? Or.... (he shuddered) what happened if he had awoken in a parallel universe in some kind of alternate parallel lost Battlestar?!.

"Admin Hoodlum" he said again.... "You know, scary guy, glowing eyes, carries around a big hammer...."


The voice grumbled again. "Oh him" it said. "He aint been around in ages.... What'd he say you had to clean?"


Admin Laowai felt reassured... at least he was in the right universe. "This hold" he said, "... and some others, I did 'em, but I think I fell asleep."

"Hmmph" the voice grunted. "Well... it says here you had to clean the flood pipes as well... did you clean them?"

The flood pipes????? Admin Laowai groaned.... No one had actually SEEN the flood pipes that were rumoured to run all throughout the lost BattleStar. Legend has it they carried the worst of "flood" from the forum controls and vented it into space, but it was all legend, myth even among the Admins, and most shuddered at the idea of them, let alone finding them and making them shiny.

"Er.... Admin Hoodlum didn't mention that..." Admin Laowai said meekly.

"Hmmph" said the voice behind the door again... "He didn't did he? Well that would be right...."


"So..." said Admin Laowai. "Could you, open the door? I fell asleep but im feeling a bit more awake now...."


"What?" said the voice? "Open the door? what are you? Daft? I cant do that, I dont have the correct codes, im just here avoiding the OORP pipes"....

Admin Laowai groaned.... he didn't even want to consider the OORP pipes......

"Look" said the voice... "You just sit tight and someone will be a long shortly....."


Admin Laowai sighed, sitting down once more on the cold metal floor he pondered interesting variations on the .kill command that could be applied to doors.

---

http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/3289/...047770.png