Dr. Liz Anderson's private research logs

[Liz.Anderson]

ENTRY LOG: LAWLS SYNDROME RESEARCH
Day one - 23/7/617as

I will be researching into an area many medical profesionals do not know much about, Lawls syndrome, also known as Harris Disease. I will be recording conversations with infected individuals, and trialing various experiments, including but not limited to medical drugs, isolation, change in locations, and habit changing techniques.

Below is the recearch I have compiled before I went on any field work. This will be updated as I come across more information, and results of test subjects.

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Lawl's Syndrome, also referred to as:

• Harris Disease
  
• Space Madness
  
• The Lol Virus
  
• Noob Effect
  
• The Dweedlez
  

This is a medical condition becoming increasingly common around Sirius today. Its origins are not entirely understood, but its effects on pilots are often apparent. This is not to be confused with (Although very similar to) mental disorders often resulting in '€˜insanity'€™. Lawls syndrome will have common symptoms such as:

• Strange and disjointed speech
  
• Disconnected perception
  
• Disconnected speech
  
• Delusional and disjointed ideas (IE: Considering the world to be a game to kill people in)
  
• Belief in Re-incarnation, and '€˜returning to the last checkpoint/point of dock'€™ when killed
  
• Delusions of Grandeur ('€˜Leetness'€™)
  
• Desires to acquire the most powerful warship possible without consent or government law and faction regulations allowing them.
  
• Belief they are able to use any weaponry and ship in Sirius, without permission or faction knowledge.
  

If this disease is not treated, physical symptoms will begin to appear, these include '€“ but are not limited to:

• Bad '€˜acne like'€™ rash on the face and neck (See Img. 1)
  
• High pitched voice
  
• Bad breath
  
• Unexplained weight gain/loss
  
• '€˜Yellowing'€™ and breaking of nails. (See Img. 2)
  
• Hair loss
  
• Swelling of the legs, ankles, feet, face, and/or hands (See Img. 3)
  

The loose grammar, just like loose spelling, encodes some level of emphasis, ironic or otherwise. A reader must rely more on intuitive parsing of Lawls syndrome to determine the meaning of a sentence rather than the actual sentence structure. Some common phrases used by people suffering Lawls syndrome include 'lol', 'rofl', 'wtf', 'pwn', ':)', '€˜l33t'€™, '€˜plox'€™ and many others.

It is thought the first infected person had travelled from Planet Harris, to Planet Manhattan as the syndrome appeared to be rapidly spreading throughout the pilot community living on Planet Manhattan. It had been suggested that Planet Manhattan was quarantined until the infected could be detained, although at the time, this was seen as unnecessary.

As Dr. Slavik once said: ".... Being RNA in nature we have seen its gene sequence change rapidly from one form to another, some scientists are quick to point fingers at extended exposure to space itself. It may be contagious, as we have seen time and time again for the behaviour to be replicated from one ship to another, when they initiate contact with one another. From a pure philosophical point of view, who is to say there is no alternate reality where a bunch of people are playing a game on a computer over the Neural Net and we are merely pawns in their hands.'€

Through my research, I believe Lawl syndrome is partially, if not fully, contagious. A majority of people who come into contact with pilots with this disease appear to only have few symptoms for a minimal period of time. After being cured once, one is usually immune for life, the exception being when, and if, they come into contact with another pilot with the syndrome which may result in a temporary relapse. Many people however are immune from birth.

Nobody knows for sure the cause of Lawl's Syndrome, although there are a number of theories as to why this occurs, they include '€“ but are not limited to;

• Nomads
  
• Cardamine
  
• Food Poisoning
  
• Drunkenness
  
• Using the Neural Net too much
  
• The Consortium
  
• Silver Poisoning
  
• Mutated Scurvy
  
• A relatively recent mutation of the human genome
  
• A neurological disorder caused by first time space flight
  
• Electromagnetic interference with the human brain
  
• Microscopic, semi-intelligent Alien Organisms using the human body as a host
  

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When I have found a cure for this disease, I plan on looking into what is the exact cause of this. I will be recording all of my findings here, meaning my log may be disjointed in places, until I am able to write a report of information I know to be true.

Dr. Elizabeth Anderson
DEng, CSci, MSc, MSE
Lincoln Research Institute

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