I have uninstalled my drivers once more, and left them there. I have confirmed what I thought: my computer doesn't see my current audio card for whatever reason. I opened up my computer, nothing was disconnected. My sound card must be fried. Oh well, I guess for the time being no sound will have to do.
While being quite funny, your sig was the biggest one i've ever seen so far. No more than 700x250 please. ~utrack http://pastebin.com/SYQXBufs
The power outage might have been the cause if you're not using a surge suppression gang plug (socket). To be honest it does begin to sound like a hardware problem if all the right drivers are installed. Your local dealer should be able to do further diagnostics for free to find out the problem.