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[BG]- The Blackguard

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[BG]- The Blackguard
Offline Mao
02-15-2017, 10:22 PM,
#11
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Posts: 2,680
Threads: 165
Joined: Aug 2009

It would be good if all this info could be found in the faction info page. For example: Tia Stormclaw doesn't appear anywhere in your writeup.

[Image: ZZ0gBOD.png]
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Offline thisDerius
02-15-2017, 10:30 PM,
#12
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Posts: 1,068
Threads: 104
Joined: Apr 2015

(02-15-2017, 10:22 PM)Mao Wrote: It would be good if all this info could be found in the faction info page. For example: Tia Stormclaw doesn't appear anywhere in your writeup.

All members and their info is located within the Blackguard database.

http://discoverygc.com/forums/showthread...pid1866192

[Image: YBCOHag.png]
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Offline The Blackguard
02-20-2017, 12:45 PM, (This post was last modified: 02-20-2017, 12:46 PM by The Blackguard.)
#13
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Posts: 45
Threads: 9
Joined: Jan 2016

Lore updated. New (old) stuff added and additional story explained.

[Image: gwaYys3.jpg]
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Offline Jeremy Hunter
02-20-2017, 01:39 PM,
#14
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Posts: 6,094
Threads: 200
Joined: Jul 2009

(02-20-2017, 12:45 PM)The Blackguard Wrote: Lore updated. New (old) stuff added and additional story explained.

I wish I could be wishing you luck, but I have to pipe up as The Order's 2ic. By saying your founder was commanding the Osiris you're now stepping into our faction's lore.

Order Indo Page Wrote:It was from the Osiris that the final battle of the Nomad War was launched. Arming Edison Trent's Anubis fighter with the Artifact, the Osiris launched three wings of fighters: Alpha Wing, led by Edison Trent; Beta Wing, led by Orillion himself; and Delta Wing, led by Von Claussen. The Osiris, with Gamma Wing (presumably under Lord Hakkera) caused a commotion at the other end of Minor as the Order's fighter fleet invaded Omicron Major, and found the Dyson Sphere.

While I haven't updated the post Vanilla stuff very well, I did go through and do my best to fill in as much as I could. This is why I have to ask you to, for now, refrain from using the Osiris Group, and "Gamma Wing" as a major part of your backstory. We've already stated we assume Hakkera took command of the forces that went with the Osiris, and if we assume really to accept another person did so we'd like to at least talk about it, to ensure a continuity with lore is kept. And as such, the Osiris itself was not inrp flown until recently so I'd have to ask Michal what inrp it had been doing after vanilla.

Furthermore, you go on to state the Blackguard was made to protect the ENTIRETY of Sirius, not just the Omicrons. To clarify, that is actually what the Order SHOULD (emphasis, SHOULD) be doing. It's why I personally have run stuff out of Cotonado, to tap into that sadly neglected part of our role play in the present days (which OBSC has started up in Bretonia, kudos there).

I'd take a look at your lore and figure out if there's a more unique approach to what the Blackguard was used for. And while I can't argue the Order might have declared hostilities to an autonomous unit pre-Fall that could have become a loose cannon like others (TCG and OHC were infamous for their feud) autonomous units is now the modus operandi of the Order, pretty much, these days.

Finally, your goals also pretty much echo the Order again (though I can understand why you might not want to join, I'm a control freak Tongue) so as I said before, I'd try and look at BG and the Order and see what you can do to be more unique, and not an Order/Core clone sans caps.

Finally, less tear down and more constructive I promise!

1 ) your ranks have Spectre. If you were Order Circa 815 AS-817 AS then you'd know Spectre is the term for Humans who work with the Nomads. I'd find a synonym (Wraith comes to mind) to avoid people in the know going SPECTRE KILL IT heh.


Finally, a question:

Since most of your primary systems are not totally connected does the Blackguard have something akin to "Area Commanders" that oversee most operations in the areas? It seems inrp a nightmare to oversee all ops within systems that could be across Sirius from each other.

And that's about it from me.
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Offline thisDerius
02-20-2017, 02:32 PM, (This post was last modified: 02-20-2017, 02:34 PM by thisDerius.)
#15
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Posts: 1,068
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I see where are you coming from. I will try and set the lore accordingly with The Order lore (might even help me if we could do it on skype.

As for the ZOI, our faction is a bit small to handle the Area Commanding stuff.

Spectre dealing. I might even change it a bit as I was unaware for it to be nomad related.

The BG lore has a snall stuff about defending Sirius and its interests.

No worries though. As it is a newer faction, I will try to make a parallel with your lore. I have to state though that Hakkera left for Kusari before the final battle.

Thanks for the feedback too!

[Image: YBCOHag.png]
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Offline Jeremy Hunter
02-20-2017, 02:38 PM,
#16
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Posts: 6,094
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(02-20-2017, 02:32 PM)thisDerius Wrote: I see where are you coming from. I will try and set the lore accordingly with The Order lore (might even help me if we could do it on skype.

As for the ZOI, our faction is a bit small to handle the Area Commanding stuff.

Spectre dealing. I might even change it a bit as I was unaware for it to be nomad related.

The BG lore has a snall stuff about defending Sirius and its interests.

No worries though. As it is a newer faction, I will try to make a parallel with your lore. I have to state though that Hakkera left for Kusari before the final battle.

Thanks for the feedback too!

Aha, I couldn't find that part actually. Thank you, I can fix that when I go through and update the info page today/tomorrow. Thanks.

As for Spectres, those are rare and dangerous operatives. Not knowing they are a thing makes it even more dangerous xD


Anyways. Yeah, I should be on Skype eventually. Tonight or tomorrow for sure. We can discuss the Osiris, though I will need to ask Michal what the general consensus is for the ship. I'll get back to you on that part when I can.

Good luck!
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Offline thisDerius
02-20-2017, 02:40 PM,
#17
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Posts: 1,068
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Joined: Apr 2015

(02-20-2017, 02:38 PM)Jeremy Hunter Wrote:
(02-20-2017, 02:32 PM)thisDerius Wrote: I see where are you coming from. I will try and set the lore accordingly with The Order lore (might even help me if we could do it on skype.

As for the ZOI, our faction is a bit small to handle the Area Commanding stuff.

Spectre dealing. I might even change it a bit as I was unaware for it to be nomad related.

The BG lore has a snall stuff about defending Sirius and its interests.

No worries though. As it is a newer faction, I will try to make a parallel with your lore. I have to state though that Hakkera left for Kusari before the final battle.

Thanks for the feedback too!

Aha, I couldn't find that part actually. Thank you, I can fix that when I go through and update the info page today/tomorrow. Thanks.

As for Spectres, those are rare and dangerous operatives. Not knowing they are a thing makes it even more dangerous xD


Anyways. Yeah, I should be on Skype eventually. Tonight or tomorrow for sure. We can discuss the Osiris, though I will need to ask Michal what the general consensus is for the ship. I'll get back to you on that part when I can.

Good luck!

You can find my skype on my forum acc info.

[Image: YBCOHag.png]
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Offline The Blackguard
03-02-2017, 03:14 PM,
#18
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Posts: 45
Threads: 9
Joined: Jan 2016

Bumping the thread.

The first month of our request is almost over.

We are looking for opinions so far and any advice from the community to improve.

Thanks.
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Offline The Blackguard
03-11-2017, 06:42 PM, (This post was last modified: 03-11-2017, 06:42 PM by The Blackguard.)
#19
Member
Posts: 45
Threads: 9
Joined: Jan 2016

Small update. Mission Channel added into the RP stuff.

[Image: gwaYys3.jpg]
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Offline The Blackguard
03-22-2017, 08:32 AM,
#20
Member
Posts: 45
Threads: 9
Joined: Jan 2016

Following This thread here, we are bumping the Feedback thread and if needed, we will ask a mod to move it to faction review and feedback thread.
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