I am wondering, however, about the infocard for the Condor.
Universal Shipping develops the ship with DSE. That makes enough sense to me.
The blueprints were brought out by Ageira? Do you mean that Universal and DSE emailed the blueprints to Ageira and Ageira printed them out, or do you mean that it uses some nice Ageira technology?
Even more perplexing, why is Ageira mass-producing the ships? Do they have the facilities to do that? Have they started competing with DSE now, despite their mutual contracts?
I am guessing that you tried to tie in all the Liberty corporations into the lore of the ship, to make it truly "Liberty." I don't think you should do that in a way that rattles the structure of the House itself, though. Perhaps something along these lines would be more appropriate:
Quote:
CTL -6000 "Condor" Liberty-Civilian Very Heavy Fighter
The CTL-6000 was originally developed by Deep Space Engineering for Universal Shipping as an escort vessel, following the drastic increase of pirate activity in Liberty and independent worlds. The ship uses a combination of traditional, robust ship design and cutting-edge Ageira technologies, making it an ideal craft for defending the interests of Liberty's giants.
However, since mass production of the Condor began, several have fallen into the hands of those who see themselves as victims of the corporations, leading the Condor to often be seen locked in combat with other Condors; the epitome of Liberty social structure.
I changed that last part since -- while it would make sense for Xenos to use the ship -- it felt odd that activists and anarchists in general would want to fly a ship out of patriotism. It may be stereotypical to say so, but most activists and anarchists I know of have little sympathy for their nation/country/house.
As mentioned, it does make perfect sense for Xenos to use it. If the ship was developed for Universal Shipping, Xenos getting their hands -- read "being given," perhaps -- a fair few could be expected, even if the relationship between US and the Xenos hasn't been as extensive previously, or officially.
i don't think it's odd that Samura and Kishiro would refuse to buy each other's products. That's what its like in real life between competing companies, for example; its pretty much a sackable offence to mention pepsi if you work for coca-cola and vice versa, they always refer to them as 'that other company' or something! i once had a Pepsi employee ask me if we had Pepsi, i said 'it's Coca-cola' to which he replied 'i'd rather be thirsty'!!!
Guys, Samura and Kishiro Hate eachother. I mean, they hire goons to disceetly kill each other. It would mean Samura dosent use it >.> I would prefer some regional difrencess between them, and If they dont like it....regular eagle?
Just remove the maker of the civilian one in Kusari, it can be just like the regular Eagle is now. Anyone can make it, it's a pretty standard ship design.
Quote:CTK -6000 "Nightjar" Kusari-Civilian Very Heavy Fighter
The CTK-6000 offers a slightly heavier alternative to the Kusari J shipline, sacrificing some of its speed and size for more armour and fire power.The CTK was designed as a blend of Civilian and Kusari technology, and the result was a ship both versatile and graceful on the battlefield, and has become a popular ship for Kusari Corporate escorts and some of Kusaris underground organisations. However the Kusari Naval Forces and Blood Dragons have both opted to stay with their more traditional vessels.
But no, really, remove it until we actually fin another ship that could be useful and propose it ourselves, or someone wants to give Kishiro a good design.