You got a donut?

[druggy]

Druggy walks in and see the officer and say hello sir


1. Do you like donuts?

well who don't like donuts? but i like homemade brownies even more


2. Do you like coffee?

im a night person of course i like coffee but only if its Extra strong


3. Do you like paperwork?

eehh nope i always find another person to do my homework


4. Do you have any flight experience?

i have some that i learned thanks to my dad


5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?

DONUTS and homemade brownies


6. What hours do you expect/can you work?

it depends on the chief

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?

i think so

8. Are you disgruntled?

some times when i don't get my brownies and donuts

[Reverend Del]

As the new recruit wlks up to the fat man snoring behind the main desk, Jonas jumps from his chair and yells

"Freeze!"

The prospective recruit freezes in place as Jonas walks to within his line of sight.

"Drop the paper, I said drop it now!"

As it falls, Jonas displays astonishingly quick reflexes and catches as it drops. Reviewing it, he mutters unintelligbly.

"Nope, like my wife's cooking this just won't do. Needs more effort, more work."

Jonas grabs the failed appplicant by the collar and drags him outside.

"Try again"

With that, Jonas walks back to his chair and glares at the wall poster of sunbucks opposite his desk.

//OOC: We're being a bit tighter about our selection process, if you are rejected do not be disheartened you can try again.

---

Saint Del is considered a holy healer of diseases of children, but also as a protector of cattle.

[druggy]

john Doe also called druggy by his friends walks in and see the grumpy old man pointing him to the right direction to the sleeping "beauty" behind the other desk john doe approach the desk and trying not to wake the sleeping "thing" and grabs an application form sits down and start answering the form



1. Do you like donuts?

it could be good with a Strong cup of coffee to it but otherwise no its to much suger for my taste

2. Do you like coffee?

yes but only if its Strong coffee

3. Do you like paperwork?

no but if its a job then its a job just take the paper sign it and have a big smile on your lips

4. Do you have any flight experience?

yea some i can beat a Xeno easily

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?

pay?? what pay aint we doing this to make the civilians safer then that?s all the pay i need

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?

Sundays 24/7

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?

as long as we uphold the law i can do anything

8. Are you disgruntled?

only on Mondays

[timmychen]

A tall young-looking girl bursts into the office, ignoring all the signs. She struts up to the desk, bangs on it, and says "I want to join the Liberty Police, cause like, I don't like bad guys, and, like, I heard you guys are hottt." The fat man behind the desk is fast asleep. "Did you hear me? Oh my god!" Still asleep. "You know, if you're going to treat me li--Oh, a stack of applications on this super-duper messy table? Fine! I'll go outside and fill it out! I'll show YOU who's boss!" She storms out of the room.

Two minutes later, she rushes back in, and starts to rummage through the pile of papers on the desk, sending sheets everywhere. Finally, she found what she was looking for - a pencil. "Thought you could beat me by hiding the pencils, huh? HUH? WELL, YOU WERE WRONG!" She walks back out.

The man is still asleep.

Two days later, she appears back in the office and throws a piece of paper on the desk. "Oh my god, that was the MOST writing I've done since middle school! I better get in!"

The application read:

1. Do you like donuts?

Oh my gosh, like, donuts make me WAY too fat! I LOVE them, but they are just so fattening! Ugh!

2. Do you like coffee?

Only if there's no sugar, cause, like, sugar makes you fat.

3. Do you like paperwork?

Does it involve pictures of hot hot guys? And, like, I get my own private office, right?

4. Do you have any flight experience?

Like, I flew paper airplanes when I was a kid, and I made parachute armymen with tissues, does that count?

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?

A LOT! I hope I get paid like a bajillion credits a week, cause, like, the cost of my hairdo and nails cost that much!

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?

Like, I don't know, cause, like, it depends on what kind of work I'm doing. Hopefully I only need to like, do a little bit, like, look at pictures of hot guys and get my nails done.

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?

Oh my gosh, that's a lot! Only if I get the pay I said!

8. Are you disgruntled?

IS THIS A TRICK QUESTION? LIKE, OH MY GOSH, IF IT IS, I SWEAR, I WILL, LIKE... ERRRRGGHHHHH!!!

The bottom half of the application seems to be covered with drawings of ponies and random daisies.

[timmychen]

The girl rushes back in. "Oh, and I forgot my name!" She rushes over to the desk, whips the paper out of the man's hands, and scribbles down 'Meg Scott' on the top of the paper, along with a little flower in the top-left corner and a heart in the top-right. She puts the paper back in the man's hands and struts back out.

[Zapp]

Matt wakes up to find the weirdest looking paper he's ever seen in his hand, and nobody around to claim it as their own. He reads it over, and notices the girl-like scribbles, flowers next to the name, and the name itself. At first he thought it must be Cesar pullin' some sort o' trick on him, but then decided better.

With all his might, he puts his hands on the table and leverages himself up; no small feat. He waddles over to the outside, and yells:

"Whoever just gave me da crazy application be hired!"

He waddles back to the desk, and falls into his seat, exhausted from his escapade.

---

[Reverend Del]

The thunderous footsteps of Deputy-Chief Myers awoke Sergeant Jonas.

"wha? sleepin'? Noooo...I was, er, catching up on my thinking time. Yeah."

It's a fairly pointless exercise, as after all the strenuous activity the portly Chief, has fallen back to sleep at his desk, his gentle snore filling the room like a cloud of angry hornets.

Tom looks around the room to see the man he booted out earlier, he's been overlooked, or just plain ignored. Jonas walks up to him.

"You again? Give me that." He snatches the piece of paper out of the poor chap's hand.

"Hmmm, hmmmmm, hmmmmmmm, Nope. What'd I tell you last time, more effort. Should of made me laugh, I hate being cranky."

With that Jonas grabs the fellow by the ear twists and drags him back outside, turning himn around he deposits a swift kick to the backside.

"And don't come back, ya hear?"

Jonas walks back to his desk, looks across at the slumbering giant, shakes his head and falls back to sleep.

//Sorry druggy, but this is a formal rejection, after two attempts we're still not happy with what's been done.
I'd suggest you find someplace else to hang your hat.

---

Saint Del is considered a holy healer of diseases of children, but also as a protector of cattle.

[frozen]

A man, with a plastic see through bag walks through the main doors of the Police station, looking nervous.

" ah be lookin' ter' joining ye lads in space. would ye be lookin' ah havin' me with yeh, up dere? *points up to the sky*" he said.

the Sargeant just pulled out a form, and chucked it in his face, asnd asked him to fill it in.

"raeet.. lemme see.. how dus dis pen work... ah yes.." he said to himself

1. Do you like donuts?

whut? dem round tings which have a brown liquid ting on top of them, and taste, like mamah made em in the sweaty heat of the trailer? yus i does like em.

2. Do you like coffee?

im too deprived to drink it, hence it being the main reason of me joining teh force, so i can drink it in abundance yus?

3. Do you like paperwork?

if the heading says: JOIN THE DOTS, i love it.

4. Do you have any flight experience?

ah once made a classy aeroplane, and flew it. so yus i have a bit o' flight experience.

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?

Pay? i thought all jobs consisted of volunteer work.. hey.. ah been duped!! i WANT MAH MUNNY!!! hm, whatever ye be paying. ah'm guna hunt mah older contractor out.

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?

shifts? i thought we could work whenever we felt like it? oh.. if i must commit mahself, i can..

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?

dat be mah daily job, sonny jim. dat be mah daily job. muhehehe

8. Are you disgruntled?

Hell yeah, but only cuz i found out i havent been paid from mah last job.. oh wait.. that job WAS volunteer work uups me bad.. noes i isnt. gimme some coffay?

oh and by teh way. mah name be Mr. Kevin Turner, mmmkay?

---

[Angelfire]

Edward Pirateson flatulated and belched simultaneously, an art passed down to him by his father, the legendary retired rogue pirate, One.Eyed.Eddie.

'Yew don't becomes a dim poirate loik yer daddy now y' hear me Eddrick? ..hic!' Eddie would say.
'Yew goes ter that thar acadermy and becomes a gewd man! A gewd man oi tells y'! Not a poirate an' not one oh them fool navy SA buffoons ya hears me? A gewd man!'

Edward smiled to himself and sat down to fill in the form he had received from the well rounded officer at the recruitment offices. His time on Sirius servant was coming to an end and it was time to take his place amongst the legends of Sirius...




1. Do you like donuts?

Fudge Donuts with light splashes of chocolate sauce are the objects of my utter adoration. They afflict me with emotions that release an inner light, inspiring me to be more than I am.. at least 5 kilograms more I'd say!

2. Do you like coffee?

Can we sweeten it with Rum? Just a splash maybe? You know.. to take the 'edge' off?

3. Do you like paperwork?

Two ply please.

4. Do you have any flight experience?

erm... does being high on synth as a child count?

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?

Evidently you get to eat people's livers who pollute the console with strange alien text... I'm in!

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?

well... does work mean..like..WORK? or like... w....o....r.....k?

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?

Does it have a cupholder and donut spike onboard? if not, may I customize it accordingly?

8. Are you disgruntled?

erm... I think my father used up that Gene.. does a pleasant lazy do-gooder son of a drunken disgruntled pirate count?

....I think I should add for the record that I have a very short attention spa... hey look, a fudge donut!

---

The Chronicles of Angelfire

[Zapp]

The rotund man behind the desk looks over both applications for a second each, then makes them both into paper airplanes. He then expertly throws them to Jonas' desk, where the grizzled man reads them over with the look of judgement on them. He refolds them into the original plane, then throws them back to Matt.

"Ye both be hired."

---