Ah sorry mate. I guess i should have posted that in there but the Order Im guessing would have already told u, as you are them. But remeber these arent acctually happening, just for the story.
But in the future, if you guys read these careuflly, there will be cetain things revealed about some of my other characters and important tibits and Roddy and Rita uncover in their travels
Just my opinion, but maybe you could consider keeping the story of the same quality, even if shorter. IMHO, the first two parts were slightly better, you seem to have just run through this part...
Also, get something with a spell checker (Firefox 2?) there are a few places I had to guess what you wanted to type.
Please, don't take offense on this, I'm trying to give a constructive critic. Excellent story overall.
If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God? - from 'Nightfall' by I. Asimov The Outcasts consider Siniestre Nube a sacred place for several reasons. Early explorers discovered a jumphole within the depths of the cloud that leads to a strange world of ringed stars and strange craft. All ships in the burrial ground are placed facing that hole to honor the Alien Spirits. - An Outcast rumor
I had to print off all of these story to show some people at my Youth Group, so i ran the through Microsoft Word. Wow I didn't realise my spelling was so Sh!tty, I knew it was bad alreay but wow that was really bad lol.
I have updated all my posts with the spell checked documents. I realise there still wil be some errors but they are alot more legible now!
Sorry it took so long to notice this, but I have a few comments to add.
First, it's good to see an interesting story like this. There is just one small detail with part one; did they start from New London or from Cambridge? Early on you say they were on New London, and in the other two parts you mention them having a place there. But during the conversation with the RM officer you mentioned the Cambridge Research Institute, which is on Cambridge. You also mention them taking off from Cambridge after they get the gunboat. So, which one is it?
OOC: PArt 4 is final here! I know you guys have been Desparatly waiting for me to keep on writing this, so here it is! :laugh:
Roddy opened his eyes. His head hurt like hell and he tried to sit up of the cold, virbation floor of what felt like the deck of a ship.
His head exploaded in a fresh wave of pain and he was force to lie back down and stay still. He wondered to himself, what he was doing and where he was. Last thing he remembered was Rita and him were flying the Jammy Dodger with that Order captain.
Rita! where had she gone?! He realized. He opened his eyes again and look to either side of him. She was nowhere to be seen. Now what had happened with the Captain? He was sifting through the depths of his memory, trying to remember something of importance.
Something was slowing coming to him, a sleek orange or brown ship, one that looked like an axe in a weird way. He was think about its name, when he heard sounds of feet walking towards him.
"Morpal, is he concious?" said a voice.
Roddy felt a metalic object against his neck. There was a beeping sound.
"Aye, he is my Lord." said a second voice, this one was alot less confident sounding then the first.
"You, get up." Roddy was nudged slightly with a wooden object and he opened his eyes. "Where am I? He said weekly, trying to find some strength if there was any left in his body.
"It doesn't currently matter." The staff nudged him again, harder this time. Roddy attempted to sit up and he found that his head didn't hurt as much as it did before.
His vison was blurred slightly and he could make out an imposing figure standing before him. The figure held out his hand and Roddy grabbed it. He was pulled to his feet.
"Morpal" The figure said. "Give him a shot of that SiN|Tech crap too make him feel better."
Roddy, felt a sharp pain in his arm as he was injected with something and almost imediatly his vision cleared up and the pain almost completly left him. The figure standing before him was a tall man, wearing a set of white armour inside a outer cloak of dark red with a hood that shadowed most of his face. Around the outer edges of the cloak there were strange inscriptions in characters he did not recognise. Completing the outfit was a cape of bright red and gold.
He also, in a sheath around his belt, he caried a sword which was about a metre long and almost drageed along the group behind him.
"It's good your awake. It's imposible to tell if a nomad has possesed someone when they are asleep. Actually its pretty easy either way but we can do our tests better this way."
The other figure in the room was behind him and suddenly his hands were caught in a pair of handcuffs.
"Morpal, take him to the main chamber will you?" Said the figure and he walked out through the main door.
Roddy found himself being almost dragged through the corridors of the ship, or at least he thought it was a ship. As Morpal edged him along, he saw many of the occupants of the vessel. They were moving very purposfuly and they all wore strange clothes. All of them, bowed deeply in respect to the cloaked man who walked infront of him.
After about 10 minutes of walking, we was relived from the hand cuffs and pushed into a small ante-chamber. The door was shut behind him. The cloaked figures voice came through a speaker shaped like a gargoyles head set in the wall.
"You see, if you were uncocious, we would have to kill you to get the nomad inside of you as it would beunable to respond as its host was not responding. But now, we are able to test to see if you are really possesed."
A door opened on the other side of the small room. He walked forward into the new area and the other door shut behind him.
The voice spoke again. "We have analized the way the nomads fight agianst the colonists when they have possesed a host. They fight a certain way, as to achivle kills as quickly as possible and to assimilate as many humans as they can."
A hole in the center of the circular room. A sword rose up on a platrom and Roddy, suddenly realised what he would have to do, picked it up by the hilt. Shortly after, a small pistol replaced the sword on the platform and Roddy picked in up too.
"Alright, three combat drones are entering, your nomad brain will imediatly attack."
Anotehr door opened and this time, three half humand, half machine combat units came through. They all had swords.
Suddenly, Roddys brain when all fuzzy. His hand moved with out his control and his vision went brighter. The drones sprinted towards him and with unatural speed the sword was brough up and in a srapy of blood and mechanical parts, the lead drone fell in half, cut diagonaly.
In the next second, the next drone had its legs cut out from under it and as it fell, it was shot in the chest before it hit the ground. The last one managed to swing its sword but the strike was paried and the drone stumbled back, and then its head was no-longer connected to its body.
The remains of the three machine people where lying on the ground. Roddy, tried to control himself but he found he could not. He could only think and even then the thing controling him could sifon out those thoughts and erase the ones it didn't need.
The main door opened and the Cloaked figure came through, sword drawn.
"I have seen enough! Die alien scum!" He said as he ran towards the helpless Roddy.
Roddy, unable to control himself, brought the sword up and around at the man, but his attacks were blocked. The figure swung and Roddy ducked and stabed upwards.
The mans initial swing had kncoked a large chuch out of the wall and he rolled backwards to dodge Roddys swing. He stood up and with a crackle of energy from his finger tips, he launched a large teardrop of energy at Roddy. Roddy jumped inhumanly to the side and the rock was vapourised behind him.
The combat contunited on. Roddy, Unable to control himself, was focusing on the nomad being inside of him. The creature was consentrated on the combat and Roddy was able to focus his mind and he took control for a few seconds. HE stumbled abckwards and the man swung too attacked but the nomad gain control again and dodged.
Roddy tried hard again after a few minutes of "rest" the mental energy being used was tremendous. Again he took control but the nomad was too powerful for him and he lost it.
He could feel the nomad starting to worry. It was letting its guard down and the Man was almost able to chop of Roddys head but the nomad dodged it really closly.
The robed man attacked again and the nomad lashed out with his foot and took the man off balance. This was all the time the alien need and it swung, aming for the neck. The man stumbled a bit and the nomads bitting sword slashed of his arm in a gout of blood.
Roddy used this to his advantage, this the few secodns after, he focus all his mental energies and with a echoing cry in the back on his brain, he regained control. He could feel the nomad inside of him, slowly dying away.
He ran over to the man. "Sir! I managed to kill it!"
The man tried to move, but he couldn't. "Wh-what do you mean?"
"The nomad, I was able to focus my mental powers on it and kill it."
"This is something quite amasing, only a few people have ever managed to do something of that feat."
A medic ran into the room. He went over to the injured man, and prcede to appy different medicines to the severed shoulder.
"You see, Roddy, I am Inquisitor Lichallen. I am aprt of the super secret millitary force called the Inquisition. We are always there at big fleet battles, and insurrections. It is our goal to stop piracy, protect lawfuls and kill the nomad invaders. During the 80 years war with Rheinland and the GMG, if Rheinland would have won, the would have moved to Kusari and eventually the rest of the colonies. Several of the key battles in the war were fought using Inquisition ships. No one knows were are there."
The medic did something to a few nevers and Lichallen Twiched.
"Now, on to your story, That captain of the Order you were following. He oinly helped you because if your ship was killed by the un hosted nomads, your escape pods would have been found by Zoners or AW, or Outcasts. He never inteded to warn said factions about the nomad battleforce and after you guys left planet Gammu, he lead of off into the deepest part of the Unknown systems and attacked you. Fortuantly, the ship you are on now, The Axe of Litany, was tehre and we managed to kill the Osiris before it destroyed your Gunboat."
The inquisitor stood up. Where his organic arm once was there was now a shiny new bionc replacement. "Follow me" He said and Roddy Followed.
"Now, your ship was damaged and you managed to escape we found your escape pod, floating in the Omicron delta system three days later. Rita on the other hand, before she go into the escape pod, all of the Dodgers systems were shut down by an EMP blast. Ourr spy ships noticed that there was a large nomad battlefleet there, and the they had surrounded your ship."
We don't know if Rita still has he free will or if she has been infection with the nomad menace, but we know, that you are he now and We can train you, with your gift, to become and Inquiesitor like me. You will be able to begin your search for Rita and The Jammy Dodger after your training."
"My, Gift?" SAid Roddy, puzzled at this strange turn of events"
"Yes, you have very mowerful mental capacity and with training, you can focus it into a powerful tool and weapon. Follow me, and we can get started"
Roddy, stood on the Bridge of the Axe of Litany, a Kusari Crusier. He was still only an Inquisitor in training but in about a year, he would become an Inquisitor Lord. Lichallen, had been severly wounded about a week ago in a conflict with a nomad cruiser and he still recovering, h would probably be paralysed for the rest of his life.
Roddy knew, that even though he was not fully trained yet, that with his mind and his new ship under his command, he could travel deep into the colonies and find Rita. He would not rest until he knew for sure that she was Aliveor dead.
"All ahead full"
End Part IV
ooc: Wow, that story was a real change from the toehr 3 but i hope you enjoyed it. This is also starting Rp into another one of my characters. In the next installment in about a week, you see the end. Also I will not be using Roddy&Rita[JammyDodger] character until i cclude this chapter in their lives. I will use Inquisitor~Lord~Roddy Instead.
Please, enjoy reading this and MAKE A COMMENT AFTER YOU ARE DONE! thanks!
Good, Verg, but maybe go into detail of what happend before he woke up with the Inquisitors. I couldnt really get it. Overall good.
I am a long-absent Supreme Commander, Executive Commander, Grand Admiral, Fleet Admiral, and Captain in the mighty Hellfire Legion. I have returned, and am on an urgent mission from Drake Thastus to return the Legion to its former glory, and to claim the galaxy for its own. Only then will I be able to rest.
RP Story (Still deciding whether or not to finish)
lol, verg the second to last line... But ppl give him some feedback.
I am a long-absent Supreme Commander, Executive Commander, Grand Admiral, Fleet Admiral, and Captain in the mighty Hellfire Legion. I have returned, and am on an urgent mission from Drake Thastus to return the Legion to its former glory, and to claim the galaxy for its own. Only then will I be able to rest.
RP Story (Still deciding whether or not to finish)
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