Who the Bleep are the TAZ?

[Malaclypse 666]

Pope Linus Koios, front and center!

You sir, are a disgrace, I can't tell where your Robes end and the bloody cat hair begins!

Report to Baffin immediately for the new flame-proof, pet-hair-proof model with attached hoodie! And shine that thing in the middle of your forehead! Welcome home.

Pope Jacob Chiddington, front and center!

Not only did you ace all the questions in our "private" interview, sir; but I'm still agape that you were able to track me down at the undisclosed location of the Retreat I was attending. Bit of the old "strega" blood, eh? (The Farce is strong in this one!)

I need shipnames and Skype IDs from both of ya, so that Warden Kyte/Doc can update the Temple Records.

I love nekkid pagan Initiation Night!

Your Episkopos

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[Malaclypse 666]

**Transmission**

I was told to come here to register My Zoner Corvo... and Yes I apologise for putting this up so late..

Second We are creating a zoner mining group that helps out miners in general in hot mining areas, etc. Please contact me via PM to discuss this more.

Sigh.. I learn so much here.

You've reached this number in error, Sailor; unless you're applying for the Church of Eris, or have an original copy of the "Emerald Tablets of Thoth" in mint condition to sell.

Umm.. I think you want the Zoner Alliance Comms.

Cheery bye!
Mal

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[Politus]

My SKYPE is politus.aquila

The comm ID of my ship, soon to be bought using some of the inheritance from a disenfranchised doodad peddler, will be [TAZ]Roasted.Flatbread. Any suggestions on which ship I oughta buy on a budget of 15.000.000 credits? I have 5.000.000 extra for IFF/ID duties.

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"Things will not calm down, Daniel Jackson. They will, in fact, calm up."

[Malaclypse 666]

My SKYPE is politus.aquila

The comm ID of my ship, soon to be bought using some of the inheritance from a disenfranchised doodad peddler, will be [TAZ]Roasted.Flatbread. Any suggestions on which ship I oughta buy on a budget of 15.000.000 credits? I have 5.000.000 extra for IFF/ID duties.

Hmm.. you're awfully close there to a nice "Kamome" GMG transport.. sold on Aomori, I believe; and to my knowledge, they're not too picky about sellin' them, as long as the Flax don't bounce.

Nasty storms have kept me from lifting tonight, but I'll try to make it to Baffin tomorrow for your Initiation.

I'll be the one with the flabby arse.

23's,
Mal

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[Cadmus]

Incoming Transmission:
[color=#CC0000]ID: Cadmus
Location: Someplace Else

I'm sure you remember me. I'm that Eristic-illusioned fellow you had occasion to bump into while I was running all around Sirius attempting to sow the seeds of chaos and overturn governments and other such overly chaotic tummyrot. After your wonderful celebration that I last attended, I became dreadfully bored with my life and thusly I went on a fishing trip... which ended in my purloining a cargo ship... and blowing up a Bretonian battleship with a torpedo with Set for a payload. Then I...

... well, I won't bore you with details. Suffice to say, I'm travelling alone now, and my train is rather empty - which isn't necessarily a bad thing, as I've distinctly less destructive urges after blowing up a battleship. (Or perhaps it was getting rid of Set that did it. Technically, they're the same incident so I don't even need to worry about it.) Now there's nobody left but me, and I believe that I've quite gained some perspective away from the Eristic Grid that was somewhat definitive of my life before now.

Technically, actually... I was only alone in my ship for all of five minutes after escaping... if you really must pry about my personal life. Eris then decided it inconvenient to come back and hit me on the back of a head with a carambola just when I was starting to think about landing on the Hawaii to find myself a girl. I would suppose she figured I was a bit too lonely now. When I came to, I didn't feel such a stir in my nether regions and also found my ship exactly where I had half-expected it to be. I say that because the front half was missing somewhere, but I had expected the rear half to be exactly where I was, so I was exactly half right about the whole thing. To compound the problem, the engines were turned the wrong way around.

I had a bit of time to think of how to solve that problem, and to think things over. "Well," I said... or thought. Does it matter which, if no one but me was around to hear it? "Now that I've got a grasp on just exactly how things work, maybe I should join the TAZ, because they've got it right." After that epiphany, I turned my omnipotence to solving how to get out of the horrible situation my ship was in. This took some time, but it wasn't difficult in the end, because I found that once I stood up and turned around, I realised that there was now a front to the ship and the engines didn't point frontward anymore. I then decided against embossing omnipotence off of my card (leaving that to the eminently more suited Gregory Hill or Canine Intelligence, I've never found out which it was, exactly) and worked my way from wherever I was to Someplace Else, and here I am right now, rambling on to you about my life story since we met.


I assume you're bored by now, so I'll I note that you've given us answers to questions for the TAZ recruitment process, but as there aren't questions, I'll furnish them myself. Now that I've got things the right way around, I think I might as well join you hooligans.


1. What is a place where you can transiently rid yourself of the influence of humanity's tendency toward Order?
2. What is the term that claims no state of being can exist in chaos?
3. In which tome is explained Absolutely Everything Worth Knowing About Absolutely Anything?
4. What three universal laws written by a Non-Prophet cite the ways The Man takes a tumble?
5. List some Non-Prophets.



I imagine you already know my contact codes and whatnot.
If not, send me a message over the neural net and I'll inform you.

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The Eristic Illusion ~ The Story of My Recent Life ~ Feedback Thread

[Malaclypse 666]

Ahh, Cadmus!

Yes, our last Agape Ludens, I believe it was. I remember being surprised at seeing you there, and I also remember our conversation after the Rites.

As to your current state of disillusion, I can only quote a wise man: "You can count all the Seeds in an Apple; but who can count all the Apples in a Seed?"

I assume then that you are willing to abide by "Barf the 4th" of our Pentabarf, (No male gods!)...?

Very well done on the questioning, sir, though still a bit terse and tight-arsed with the rhetoric. I do however detect a bit more "tongue-in-cheeky" than was exhibited at our last encounter. Kudos.

As you found this frequency, you no doubt know the drill:

Shipname, Skype, and report to Bafflin' for your nekkid pagan Initiation and new Robes. Can't do it tonight, tho.. we have some sort of strange Palaver scheduled with some "out-of-towners".

Breakfast tomorrow then?

Welcome to the TAZ, Cadmus. I won't welcome you to the COEE, as you already have the T-shirt!

Kallisti!
Mal

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[Aeon]

Connor McTavish here, applying for membership in the Temporary Autonomous Zoners organization.

For your questionnaire:

1] The Eristic Principle is one apparent disorder. A school yard at recess time is an example. Children running everywhere and playing, but underlying this are the unwritten laws of the school yard which keep children [mostly] playing nice.

2] The Aneristic Principle is one of apparent order. A classroom of children 'hard' at work doing math worksheets is an example. The children appear quiet, but within, you know they long be unleashed upon the teacher to do as they wish; fingers glued to tables, permanent black markers, gum in the hair, tacks on the chair, broken chalk in the air, paper everywhere. You cannot have order without disorder, likewise you cannot have disorder without order as both are dependent on the other.

3] Scrip is any form of substitute for currency which is not legal tender and is a type of credit. Flaxscrip is the discordian way of saying, 'We're special, we don't need your money.'

4] I don't know what you're talking about so I'll just say 'yes.' Shortest treatise ever.

5] Chuck Norris can non-prophet any non-prophet with his roundhouse kick.

Hope this is acceptable. Cheers!

[Malaclypse 666]

Mal to McT:

You come highly recommended, sir, both by our Missionary J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, and by a very old "friend"; so due to that, and the time stamp on your application, I'll forgive the laxity on answers 4 and 5.

You know the drill: WAIT for the triple or quad at Bethlehem; affix [TAZ] label thingie; affix FnordNet Transponder; and report to Baffin for your new Robes.

Welcome to the Church of Eris Esoteric, Pope Connor!

(Oh, and if you should happen to change your ship name, or build a new boat for Popin', let us know; and keep the receipts.. we'll foot the bill.)

All Hail Discordia!

Mal

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[the devil angel]

hello my name thedevilangel and I wish your guild built for short, there s nothing definite for me has convinced you to take me home but I have credit and I want to spend a pretty little ship that ^ ^ I will honor the hopes Zoner

I'm sorry for the English but I'm French and I'm not very good at sentences long so I did my best

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Am a French people sorry for my writting in English

[the devil angel]

who can accept me in the zoner guild ???

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Am a French people sorry for my writting in English