Alpha Legion

[Spacewolf]

Heres a quick redo havent really added much but tell me if im imroving along the right lines.
Alpha Legion is the elite fighter arm of the LWB they are the pilots they send in when the enemy has larger numbers or superior tech. Recently they have become more and more known as many attacks are linked to their hit and run tactics that consist of attacking every weak link in the enemy formation at once. Many transports carrying Synthetic food to Stuttgart have been intercepted and destroyed; this legion was also instrumental in slowing the expanding corporations by killing several VIPS and other high profile targets in a short space of time which caused the Liberty corporations to back down for many years. Little information is still verified about them because they have very strict controls over their channels. Rheinland still has no idea about their whereabouts but after several large raids on transports containing important military and economic assets they have been given a high priority for extermination. They have also been seen assisting the Hessians in Omega-5 and disrupting Corsair supply lines for their invasion of Rheinland.
Recent gains by Synth foods have meant that the Alpha Legion is being called on more and more to slow the expansion of the heartless companies, the squadron leader Guntram Wolf was recently shot down over Stuttgart after leading the tattered remnants of his squadron against a large convoy of traders, by all reports he is now attempting to rebuild.

[bluntpencil2001]

That's a bit better, but I guess the 'elite fighter wing' thing annoys me and the name still doesn't gel with a small wing of angry farmers.

You don't decide whether your wing is elite or not, your opponents do.

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[Spacewolf]

ok ill change it to 1st squadron then if we earn it i will include Elite in the name that better?

[bluntpencil2001]

If you earn it, it won't really need put in there, really.

Sticking to the basics... 'an LWB wing' should work just fine.

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[Spacewolf]

Alpha wouldnt work then thought.

This is what i hope to be the final copy of this but as always im open to suggestions for improvements.
Alpha Legion.

Alpha Legion is the 1st squadron of the LWB they are the pilots they send in when the enemy has larger numbers or superior tech. Recently they have become more and more known as many attacks are linked to their hit and run tactics that consist of attacking every weak link in the enemy formation at once. Many transports carrying Synthetic food to Stuttgart have been intercepted and destroyed; this legion was also instrumental in slowing the expanding corporations by killing several VIPS and other high profile targets in a short space of time which caused the Liberty corporations to back down for many years. These actions gave several farms the time they needed to consolidate their positions and in return they receive a constant stream of food to ensure that no LWB pilot goes hungry. Little information is still verified about them because they have very strict controls over their channels. Rheinland still has no idea about their whereabouts but after several large raids on transports containing important military and economic assets they have been given a high priority for extermination as several attempts on the Chancellors life and the military commanders have been made as they are seen to be Liberty sympathizers who would stab their people in the back, but as Rheinland and Liberty spiral towards war these attacks have died down. They have also been seen assisting the Hessians in Omega-5 and disrupting Corsair supply lines for their invasion of Rheinland.
Recent gains by Synth foods have meant that the Alpha Legion is being called on more and more to slow the expansion of the heartless companies, the squadron leader Guntram Wolf was recently shot down over Stuttgart after leading the tattered remnants of his squadron against a large convoy of traders, by all reports he is now attempting to rebuild.

[bluntpencil2001]

Probably not. That's a more Outcast or Corsair name for a faction anyway, with the Greek lettering. If not Outcast or Corsair-related, it would be military. Also, 'Legion' implies a huge force, not suitable for a fighter wing.

Maybe something actually related to LWB would be good. Possibly in German, too.

The background is improving though.

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[Spacewolf]

I carnt think of any German names for this

Heres a Quick one its pretty much the best name i could find or think of,
Erstes Landwirt-Kampfer-Geschwader
It means First German Fighter Squadron

[Dopamino]

LWB Ein and [LWB-1] maybe?

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I mostly lurk around Media Center these days.

[alance]

That's a bit better, but I guess the 'elite fighter wing' thing annoys me and the name still doesn't gel with a small wing of angry farmers.

You don't decide whether your wing is elite or not, your opponents do.

You know, Elite is relative. It can certainly be the elite wing of LWB, all it has to do is fight better than the LWB npcs.;)

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"To gain a hundred victories in a hundred battles is not the highest excellence;
to subjugate the enemy's army without doing battle is the highest of excellence."

[uspatriotsf]

The Elite portion does not bother me. In relation to all other LWB pilots (NPC's) your PC conterparts would be considered elite.

EDIT: Well guess I shoulda read Morrigan's post first as I just became very redundant, so I agree with Morrigan.

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