A lost logbook gotten into the hands of a lone pirate. Location where it was found has never been confirmed. Several circuits were damaged, making a replay of the entire database impossible. Only restricted access available. Specified search-functions are unavailable. Random replay order pattern seem to be caused by fluctuations in the intact device circuits.
Entry #82 - 21st of November – 819 A.S. - "Probable success"
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[5:39 SMT] Preparations are done, I believe the experiment will go as planned. Spent more than two months to find everything I need. Another one to assemble. Broke up contact with everyone I know – just to be sure nobody is gonna get anything of this.
I feel no remorse for what I have done to achieve this. A new life will be born. That's everything that counts. I don't care about the ethics behind these methods. Strange...feels odd to... [error209: data package damaged]
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[17:01 SMT] The 30th of November has been chosen the day when the specifications will apply. I've got to say that I am a bit of excited. Just sad that it isn't my own child. Whatever it will end up in, I am confident everything will go just fine in future. What a careless person am I actually though...able to put something...new into the world and in the end unable to be there and watch over it.
Exactly six days, six hours and...[missing]...left.
…
Entry #83 - 27th of November – 819 A.S. - "Remorse"
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[22:34 SMT] Spent the rest of the day thinking about the future. Facing the fact that...[missing]...will not be there anymore after the 30th passed, I find myself unable to understand why I did this. However, this had to happen, sooner or later.
[Time stamp missing] Found myself lying on the floor. I have no bloody idea where I was. It took me ages to notice that I was far away from the room I...'rented'. Had nightmares too, as far as I can remember. I am having worries about...[missing]...But it will still happen. It's too important...
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Couldn't find the line of thoughts I had in the night. If it'll continue like that, things are gonna be as unplanned as possible. Gotta prevent that from happening and finally rip myself together to stand against it. It also seems it's all coming up now. Those things I tried to delay to happen until the...'job' was done. It's almost as if the changes kind of would let me burn in the hellfire for what I've done. Did I really create a beast? Or is it already there? I HAVE to get this under control. Otherwise it'll be for nothing. Notification interval set to one hour. I hope it helps.
Entry #37 - 3rd-4th of Oktober – 819 A.S. - "The last piece"
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[8:17 SMT] This month will be a long one. Met that...odd old man of who I thought he could help me. However, I didn't really gain as many information as I wanted. None, to be honest. The event lasted the whole night and I still can't get any sleep. Something must've been wrong to be absent all the damn time. Can't even remember what he told me. Maybe those things will come back after a few days. Hopefully.
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[0:07 SMT] Something really odd just happened. I was...[missing]...and I don't know where I got it from. I am feeling like something is stalking after me. Maybe the things that old man told me. But why would this happen? He must be more than I believed he was.
[0:15 SMT] It's gone now. Entirely. Nothing is left. But I understood something. The words returned, as if I could see them being visualized directly infront of my eyes. First I didn't know what it was. Now I know it's the key. The...[missing]...would mean I'll have to delete my...[missing]...[error209: data package damaged]
[4:45 SMT] Cold hands, my heart feels like it's about to explode. Shivering, nausea, fatigue. Those were the symptoms I had when I woke up. I can't get this under control...I even forgot everything again. I do not even know what happened. It's like with the story the old man told me. Maybe this is some kind of sickness...or a blessing? Can't tell...
Entry #34 - 25th of September – 819 A.S. - "In Debts"
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[8:00 SMT] Got a trail on what I am seeking for. Although, it will be hard. Probably even harder than I will expect. However, I was able to fine a person who said my 'sickness' can be healed. It would require a lot for that though. And we're speaking here of things which are impossible for me to 'pay' at the moment. Met him yesterday. If I can make him believe I've got the things to get the deal without even showing him anything, I win. Crossing fingers.
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[12:29 SMT] Pungent feeling in the head. I need the things he offered now. I can't wait. Don't care about the costs. Future depends on how long I need to react. Therefore, it will happen immediately. I have prepared a good load of 'arguments' which will work on him. I am confident to see the items, I seek for, in my possession soon.
[22:15 SMT] I made it. Ripped all the stuff from that guy. He probably still doesn't know what hit him. Searching for a place to hide now, in case he'll become aware. Got one thing left to do...since I have the second of three I need. Going to...[error007: no entry]
Entry #33 - 23rd of September – 819 A.S. - "The sailor"
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[3:37 SMT] Visited someone on his almost wrecked ship. Odd person, indeed. Had to save him from a bunch of pirates who wanted his head for not paying their 'rent'. Grey hair, around the age of 65 and an odd behavior. Was on Rochester when I met him inside his ship. One could think it only has the shell of a modern one, but inside looking like a nightmare of anyone who likes to have order. Guy found everything at once though, as if he would see order in that chaos. I couldn't. He was also telling strange stories about himself having been everywhere in space and that he would know a lot more than others. Sounded exaggerated since he couldn't prove it when I asked him for that information. But still. He was looking confident and all...maybe more of that is true than I think.
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[4:01 SMT] Thought about the encounter a bit again. Realized I was missing out a few questions about what he wanted to offer me, since I saved his life. Might be a good deal. [entry damaged: fluctuation in circuit]
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Questionable as hell. But he offered me some kind of stone. Probably an artifact when going after it's look and after what he said. Took it without thinking much about the offer. Might have been a mistake. But better than nothing.
Entry #29 - 13th of September – 819 A.S. - "Change of mind"
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[file unavailable: replacement]
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[13:23 SMT] Slowly I am understanding what all that purpose-business is on about. And it doesn't matter. Which is odd...[missing]...having plans. This logbook will be filled with data concerning my advancement, if there is any, and everything I will need later. Experiments will be held constantly to ensure success. I don't and shouldn't care about the consequences but if there is anything I have learned in the past, then not to go entirely careless. The less attention I get, the better.
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[13:31 SMT] Just got up. Don't know how I could sleep that long. Had nightmares from my past and the major events back in time. A little additional headache as well. Should be fixed quickly though to get back to work. A lot of things still left to do. And my time is running out.
…
[file available: replacement]
[error: access denied]
[generation in progress]
[13: 27 SMT] Had to walk all the way back to my ship. This station hasn't been cleaned for quite a while. A lot of minor hull damage was to see from the distance and the lighting was utterly bad. Was lucky I didn't hit one of the more damaged hull parts. Could have gone ugly. However, the walk distracted me a bit. Until the next night, hopefully.
Entry #49 - 23rd of October – 819 A.S. - "Countdown"
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[7:33 SMT] The more time passes, the closer the feeling of sickness comes to me. It's as if it would be chasing me. There is still a reason to find for that stone the old man gave me, back in time. The big problem is, that there is no stone anymore. It's like it was hidden from me every time I tried to find it. Like a phantom never leaving it's stealth without caution. I am getting answers though. It's my head changing. Probably impossible to stop the process.
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[12:07 SMT] Had to lie down for a couple of hours again, that bad was it. It's not the first time, that I am suffering from that kind of headache. Had that way back in time, when I still had that...previous life, if it is worth to call it like that. There has always been those odd things others never could understand and yet I think they feel that something is off. Basically, it's getting only worse with the process and I can't tell how long it will last until the total collapse will occur. But the clock is ticking and I am not eager to wait until the clockwork has stopped working.
[13:54 SMT] Addendum: Another wave of pain. But this time stronger. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. As if exponentially growing it's hitting now way more often than before. Odd, I wonder if there is a pattern in this, since I've got the feeling to get closer to solve this, well, riddle.
Sidenote: Count up to the duration it lasts, then close eyes and count down again. Time passes without realizing.
Entry #50 - 24th of October – 819 A.S. - "Delusions"
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[7:00 SMT] Heartbeat is normal, certain brain areas randomly stimulated over time. Odd that memories, about the experiences I had, keep fading away. I barely can recall most of those, as they always started to disappear from my head as soon as the 'pain' was over.
[7:30 SMT] If I am right, then this all began after that man, the sailor, I believe, gave me that artifact he owned back then. Either it's creating illusions in my head or it's just creating chaos. However, I am not sure when that was and I also can't find the entry on this recording device anymore. Damn...must have forgotten about it as well. Probably it's about to vanish as well.
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[9:30 SMT] Tried to find the entry again but without success. Kept forgetting the code and when I knew it again, I had no idea anymore where the device was. Therefore forgot again. Gotta keep awake to prevent becoming crazy by this. I just hope that it's all not real and just a dream. However, I've got my doubts about it.
[10:00 SMT] Entry on time. Just now trying to program something that helps me to relocate the lost files to a place where I can find them. All those files contain valuable information about the 'advancement' I've made, as well as every piece of more than important information. Not much yet, though, but it will be worth it later, hopefully.
Entry #71 - 10th of November – 819 A.S. - "Crack"
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[8:01 SMT] Research continues. Still no idea how a removal will look like. The how-to isn't quite understandable. I've quite got everything I need. If I am right about this, then there can't be something else that has to be done. Even though, I quite don't get how the recommended state should be 'summoned'. Not to speak of what to do to achieve this. Everything is here, except for the spiritual readiness which eludes me over and over again. I've just got to get through everything again. Maybe that guy can help me.
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[18:56 SMT] He told me something about breaking the mind. About releasing -information- about past and present, then to put them back into the memory in just a different place. Locked out, forever. Sounds brilliant. But he doesn't know about one thing, though. But maybe this can ease it up a bit. Maybe by trying to see without eyes and feeling. The physical form is not as important anyway, was what he said...
[19:14 SMT] Found some information about the past of mine. They are known to me but I might have overseen something in my thinking. There was that person. Of great importance to me. And as odd as it is, it's still important. Strong bounds blocking any interuption. That might be the opportunity I was looking for. Even if I don't know how to approach this, I think I'll have to visit that guy again. Or, just meditate.
Entry #73 - 11th of November – 819 A.S. - "Misunderstanding"
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[8:01 SMT][6:35 SMT] It's messed up. The way it was supposed to be understood faded before getting in reach. A lot of time wasted for a single so element like that. It didn't change anything, not even close. If I could see her again and do it the direct way, that might work. But I certainly won't be able to even get close. And time's gold. I will skip this part of the 'ritual', as it probably won't cause any problems later on. One thought or two won't screw it up. Of that, I am certain.
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[7:39 SMT] The old man isn't there anymore. Just gone. I went to the place where I would usually find him but he wasn't there. It didn't even look like somebody ever lived there. Confusing enough that I can't recall everything he told me yesterday. If it was yesterday, right? Might as well just have to re-read the logs...
…
[error007: no entry]
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[time stamp missing] I keep forgetting things. It's like...it's already over? Can't be. Everything else is doing just fine. And it doesn't even seem like too much time has passed. How could it be finished so fast? And if, why would I feel like I am feeling right now? Something has gone wrong. Not hard to smell. If this continues, I won't be able to count up to ten in a few weeks. I will, however, try to get the last item I need to complete, or at least advance with this. Hopefully tomorrow will go as planned, as I still remember everything. For now...
