"Now that I've taken up residence on Bethlehem, I won't see him again for a while."
He nodded, but inevitably his mind too had drifted back to the events of earlier that night. The horror of the Nomad's power and rage was still fresh in his mind, and he still didn't feel... right. It seemed as if some element of the Nomad's damage remained, but he couldn't pinpoint what it was.
He couldn't get around what the Nomad had almost made him do... how for those agonizing minutes, his mind hadn't been his own. How the Nomad had tried to force him to kill Chloe, and how he'd almost been willing to do it.
If I almost did it tonight, what happens later? What if it catches me unaware next time, and forces me to kill an innocent, a friend, or even... Pita?
He knew the cardamine was what made him more susceptible to the Nomads, but if he wasn't dosed up, the other side of him was more likely to come out. It was if his mind was now a fulcrum, with the twin threats, external and internal, vying for power over him. No matter what, he was doomed to slip up and lose control eventually.
Then he remembered the woman sitting next to him on the couch, and that long seconds of silence had passed since she'd finished speaking. With a mental effort, he yanked his mind up and out of the dark pit it had been in, and he came up with another question to ask her.
"So... what do you enjoy doing outside of your work, Chloe?" he asked, struggling to keep things normal and light. He felt that was the most important thing for both of them on this particular night.
Chloe had another odd sensation, but this one was of worry, not guilt. Trying to ignore it, she took another drink, then noticed that more than half a minute had passed since she responded. "James must also be deep in thought."
Finally, he put forth another question, "So... what do you enjoy doing outside of your work, Chloe?"
With the alcohol beginning to calm Chloe down, she was easily able to conjure up a reply, "I spend time reading, and watching the news." She laughed at herself, as her off-duty life appeared very dull to her now. "Perhaps I do need something boring, amidst all this excitement." Chloe jokingly inquired, "Does your job leave you a lot of free time, or are you often busy saving the universe?"
"You see what your knowledge tells you you're seeing. ... how, what you think the universe is, and how you react to that in everything you do, depends on what you know. And when that knowledge changes, for you, the universe changes. And that is as true for the whole of society as that is for the individual. We all are what we know, today. What we knew yesterday, was different; and so were we."
- James Burke, The Day the Universe Changed (1985)
"I spend time reading, and watching the news." She laughed, then paused a moment before speaking again. "Does your job leave you a lot of free time, or are you often busy saving the universe?"
He laughed. "Saving the universe? Well that's usually what I do after breakfast, then the afternoon is typically spent rescuing cats from the tops of trees and walking old ladies across the street..."
He smiled. "But in all seriousness, my job is... dull. I can't say I've really enjoyed anything about it in a long time. Lots of fighting, dealing with the worst sorts of unlawful scum, and general headaches in the job these days. I'm honestly not sure if it's the work that's changed, or me."
He sighed.
"But when I'm not on duty I usually try and find fun ways to teach Pita about the universe, and when I'm not doing that I enjoy reading as well. I'm partial to a lot of Old Earth classics, but those are something of an acquired taste these days."
"But when I'm not on duty I usually try and find fun ways to teach Pita about the universe, and when I'm not doing that I enjoy reading as well. I'm partial to a lot of Old Earth classics, but those are something of an acquired taste these days," said James.
Chloe grinned, then said, "I haven't read much from Earth, although the general must have a whole shelf of those books somewhere... " She thought for a split second, then added, "James, everything changes, and it is important that you do what is right."
"What am I, a psychiatrist? Or maybe the wine is getting to me... " She smiled slightly.
"You see what your knowledge tells you you're seeing. ... how, what you think the universe is, and how you react to that in everything you do, depends on what you know. And when that knowledge changes, for you, the universe changes. And that is as true for the whole of society as that is for the individual. We all are what we know, today. What we knew yesterday, was different; and so were we."
- James Burke, The Day the Universe Changed (1985)
"I haven't read much from Earth, although the general must have a whole shelf of those books somewhere... " After a pause, she added,"James, everything changes, and it is important that you do what is right."
He smiled at her mention of the books, but decided he would revisit that topic later on.
"I just wish I knew what was right in this situation. Taking on the upbringing of a young girl alone was a big decision, and it means I now have responsibilities that I need to meet. And now I kind of rely on a lot of the benefits the Navy provides for... both of us."
He sighed again, leaning back into the couch.
"If it were just me, I'd probably decide to just run off, and leave it all behind for a while. But the protection, the healthcare, the schooling... all those things my job provides for Pita, and she needs those now. Plus, if I go out there and get blown to hell tomorrow, at least I'll know she'll be looked after by someone."
He looked at her now, inwardly shocked he was being so candid with her like this. "So I don't feel like I have a lot of choice at the moment, I guess is what I'm saying."
Chloe peered over the brim of her glass and studied it. Even though little of the wine remained, its crimson red color presented a grim reflection of the chandelier above. Gradually, another bizarre feeling came along, yet this one was the opposite of the first. "It's probably the wine," she thought, rubbing her temples. Chloe looked up from the wine to the chandelier, then at James. Having just finished speaking, he also turned to face her.
Chloe blushed slightly, then took another drink. Not knowing what exactly she should say at this juncture, she simply stated, "Then I wish for the best for you in this hard time, but I do not think that I am able do more." Chloe trailed off, staring at her glass again.
"You see what your knowledge tells you you're seeing. ... how, what you think the universe is, and how you react to that in everything you do, depends on what you know. And when that knowledge changes, for you, the universe changes. And that is as true for the whole of society as that is for the individual. We all are what we know, today. What we knew yesterday, was different; and so were we."
- James Burke, The Day the Universe Changed (1985)
"Then I wish for the best for you in this hard time, but I do not think that I am able to do more."
He smiled sadly. "I'm sorry... I was getting ponderous with all that complaining there, wasn't I? I'm sure you have more than enough to worry about without my help."
Again he wondered why he was so candid with this woman he barely knew. He knew part of it had to be his own need for someone to talk to about these things with, but he also felt far more comfortable with Chloe than he really should. Was that supposed to mean something?
He took another long drink to cover the awkward silence, as he struggled to think of something else to ask her.
"I'm sorry... I was getting ponderous with all that complaining there, wasn't I? I'm sure you have more than enough to worry about without my help." James said, smiling sadly.
"I... I didn't mean to sound harsh... " she spoke. Chloe still felt uneasy with Lambert, as if there was something gnawing at the back of her mind. "Yet James is a good man, taking care of Pita, bringing me here, ... rescuing cats and escorting old ladies," she chuckled at this thought, then finished her wine.
It suddenly occurred to her how tired she was, so she set her glass down again and leaned back on the couch. Chloe yawned, then said with blurred words, "If you need something, then I suppose I could arrange for it." She shrugged slightly, then dozed off.
"You see what your knowledge tells you you're seeing. ... how, what you think the universe is, and how you react to that in everything you do, depends on what you know. And when that knowledge changes, for you, the universe changes. And that is as true for the whole of society as that is for the individual. We all are what we know, today. What we knew yesterday, was different; and so were we."
- James Burke, The Day the Universe Changed (1985)
"If you need something, then I suppose I could arrange for it."
He stared up at the mantle of the fireplace, deep in thought.
"No, I don't suppose there's really anything you could do about it - but thanks. I'll just be here, trying to stick it out, unless another opportunity presents itself."
He glanced over when she didn't respond, and realized she'd fallen asleep. He sighed, feeling frustrated. He still didn't feel right... something had changed, and he just couldn't seem to figure out what it was.
His thoughts were interrupted by a door softly closing, and the sound of little footsteps approaching.
Pita walks in and smiles at Lambert and sitting on the arm of the couch before frowning slightly before shaking her head and looking out the window.
"James.... Who is that?" She says quietly before thinking for a moment. and shaking her head "She looks like she needs a blanket." She watches the woman with a wary look on her face.
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