From Dr. Malcolm Kynde
Chief of Medicine, New Gaian Front
*hiss*
--- onofa --- fraki --- ou gotta be ki --- cmon' n --- swear to Gai ---
*crackle*
Ah, yes...
There we go!
-That's the last time I let the nurses near the recorder!
Anyway - to the report!
I led a delegation of Doctors Without Restraint to the Dublin system yesterday to attempt to heal Gaia's wounds there.
We broke up a small mining operation, sending some Gallic hauler packing, before he could load up.
While we were at it an ##S# Cruiser (whose name I fail to remember) came upon us, and without even hearing our explanations (!), engaged us.
While we were busy with him, the miner we were babysitting, one R##sS####Ne###ck##t, engaged us as well~!
After stomping a mud-hole in him, he fled to the Essex, and docked there - That's one less miner scraping away at Great Gaia in Dublin! - *leans in and grins ruefully at the screen*
We then turned on the Cruiser in earnest, when along came his wingman, a bomber tagged the ####La#a#us.
Turning our attention to the snubcraft, the Cruiser proceeded to tear off our weapons, one by one, until limping, we were forced to flee into New London and the safety of Trafalgar. *picks at collar, nervously*
I understand this ##sty's###gb#ew##ket later re-engaged some more of our fine Doctors, but I will let those that were there deliver THAT report.
This one is rapidly moving toward the fine rank of Gaia's Public Enemy Number One! *waggles finger at the screen*
Oh, I nearly forgot!
I was wearing my favorite white pvc labcoat, the one with the little tassles at the shoulders, and did I ever cut a fine form!
Oh, dashing was NOT the word!
From Dr. Ezra Cure
Chief of Medicine, New Gaian Front
My Good Doctors,
My story today is nothing out of the ordinary. Indeed, we may take it as an opportunity of sorts. No more wasted time identifying the enemy, they have identified themselves. We may now stomp a mudhole in them whenever we see fit.
But I see the quizzical looks on your faces... I have gotten ahead of myself.
*clasps hands behind back*
Well, take a seat as I recount the events as they unfolded-- mundane as they were.
So I was flying through Dublin skies, checking on the health of our Goddess Mother, when I came upon a hegemon and his transport. The hegemon was T.F._Mining_Co.3 and the transport Trade_Federation_D1.
Now, I thought I had come across one of this bunch before, but I guess word hadn't gotten around. When I showed up on the scene they were completely at a loss and blundered about silently, like cows with head trauma, undoubtedly spitting frantic messages to each other on their comms.
Dr.Cure: What do we have here? Carvers of the Mother's flesh? Drop your ore Trade Federation.
Trade Federation remained silent, at which point I began to explain.
Dr.Cure: The ore. It is Gaias blood...
At this point Trade Federation pointed his prow toward the nearest jump hole.
Dr.Cure: Very well
I proceeded to take down his shield with my razor, whereupon he fled silently, jogging up and down among the rocks as I fired cruise disruptors and began to take down his shield completely.
So this silent carver of the Goddess flesh flees to Edinburgh of all places.
I pursued him across the familiar skies, gaining ground, until I CDed him to a stop near the planet Gaia. There, patient man that I am, I repeated my demand:
Dr.Cure: Drop the ore-- Gaia's blood is not yours to steal. You cannot do with Her as you would please.
As Trade Federation remained silent, but made fitful attempts to exit the scene, I continued to CD him and take down his shield... and hull.
He remained silent while his hull was reduced to almost nil.
Dr.Cure: I would rather not destroy your ship, child of Gaia.
Since he continued to skulk about and edge away rather than sitting still I resumed CDing him and taking down his shield. However, I did not destroy his ship. I am a Doctor, not a common pirate! I conduct my surgeries with precision and infinite (Dear Gaia...) patience....
Dr.Cure: Drop it and you may go in peace.
And just as I had given up any prospect of attaining my goal apart from destroying his vessel, he speaks!
Trade_Federation_D1: OK BUT WHAT THE HELL R U
Dr.Cure: I am a Physician of Gaia. I protect her from the vermin of miners, who harm Her. Gaia is the Mother Beast of the Universe-- Mother of us all.
At this point, Trade Federation sat silently as GRN fighters picked away at his hull.
Dr.Cure: Hurry or these Gallics will finish you off.
I took in the beauty of Planet Gaia as he was once again silent. "It would be nice to take this system back as our own," I thought. "We are sharecroppers in our own homeland." But then my thoughts returned to the task at hand.
Dr.Cure: Drop all the gold in your cargo and you may go. I will return it to the Mother.
Again he spoke, screaming into the comms:
Trade_Federation_D1: OK IM GOING TO BE MORE THEN THAT IM USING IT IN THE FIGHT FOR HER ..TAKE A LITTLE AND SAVE ALOT U KNOW
Dr.Cure: Drop it all. Dr.Cure: If you wanted to negotiate, that time has passed. Dr.Cure: I hope there will not be a next time, but next time don't flee.
Trade_Federation_D1: OK HOW ABOUT I TAKE IT BACK
Dr.Cure: No. Drop it now.
Trade_Federation_D1: HOW MUCH
Dr.Cure: all of it
Trade_Federation_D1: OK
He finally dropped the ore and I vaporized it, returning it to the Mother.
Dr.Cure: Go in peace, child of Gaia. and mine no more.
I was halfway back to Dublin when a little munchkin voice stuttered in on my comms. It was another member of the Trade Federation cohort, a "friend" of the pilot whose ship I had spared, and there was not a shred of gratitude in his voice:
Trade_Federation_J3: the trade federation is going to rape this universe dry and you cant stop us Dr.Cure: No. Quite the opposite.
You will notice that the poor confuzzled blood merchant has used the word "rape" on his own, without any mention of it by yours truly. This shows where their mind is at when they "man" those turrets. The perverts. How can they treat their own Mother this way?
I returned to Dublin where within a short time I am greeted by this mysterious member of the Trade Federation, who immediately begins firing on me with his Firefly transport without a word of introduction.
Dr.Cure: You are an angry little firefly. Trade_Federation_J3: going somewhere? Dr.Cure: You have no ore, so you do not concern me. Trade_Federation_J3: im only the beginning Dr.Cure: My interest is in protecting the Mother of the Universe. Trade_Federation_J3: the mother will bleed
It is obvious, of course, that even if they pretend to not understand our cause and our mission, they understand it quite well. He has used our very language to describe his own bloody trade and his threats are against the Mother Herself.
So you see, this one and his cohort wishes to ascend to the fine rank of Gaia's Public Enemy Number One! Well, we shall see if he is worth our trouble.
In the meantime, if you see any Trade Federation or T.F. ships, feel free to regard them as hostile and give them little time to respond before you engage them. If they wish to proclaim themselves the contagion, we will gladly eradicate them-- and they should not be hard to find.
It is with heavy heart that I report the loss of our comrade, Dr. Ichabod Tickles.
He was slain in an encounter with the BPA, where he was set upon by two officers and eventually a cruiser, but undoubtedly it was his poor jousting skills and wayward piloting that did him in.
He had been depressed lately anyway, perhaps this was his way of making his exit. We shall never know.
While it is true that his craft was destroyed in the encounter with the BPA, it was a subsequent malfunction in his escape pod that did him in. Every pilot should do a safety check of their equipment immediately, because-- to be honest-- some of this refurbished stuff we use is sub-standard. I wouldn't want any other promising doctors going the way of Dr.Tickles.
Ichabod, you will be missed!
He will be replaced by a promising young cadet, Dr.Zhivago, who will be promoted just as soon as he finishes his Flight Surgeon training.
Thank you for your time, my Good Doctors. And remember, "Someone who can't sacrifice anything can never change anything."
From Dr. Malcolm Kynde
Chief of Medicine, New Gaian Front
My very good Doctors,
Yesterday's operations in the Dublin system, while expensive in terms of hardware, were a success.
I must say, even though my ears are still bleeding from a minor compression loss to my lifepod, I could not be prouder of the fine work and skilled surgical techniques you all displayed.
We simultaneously engaged 2 Cruisers, 2 Bombers, and a Gunboat yesterday, armed with only 2 Gunboats and 2 Heavy Fighters ourselves, and only sustained two losses.
I find it immensely odd that the GRN Cruiser ignored the [lawful military] and chose instead to aid them by engaging us, as if we were somehow the greater threat.
-Perhaps it is time we sent some of our patrols deeper into Gallia, to see what kind of trouble their miners are up to.
And to cause some trouble of our own.
They kicked open the door, now they must deal with what comes through it.
But for today, while mining continues full-bore in Dublin, our message is getting out, and miners now run for the docks when we enter a system.
Little by little, we will cleanse Great Gaia of her infections.
Of this I've no doubt.
Outstanding work, Doctors.
I will see you in the operating theater shortly.
Here the other night, when all those ion storms rolled through Sirius like Great Gaia's hiccups, I tried to make a bolt from a little hidey I have carved out on a rock in Dublin to the safety of Islay by way of Leeds... *pauses*
...which BY THE WAY, it pains me to my very core to see what this parasitic mining infestation has done to our own Mother in the Leeds System - Really is it any wonder that all the greed and hate in Sirius is focused there?
*rubs his rubber gloved hands noisily across his bald scalp, a weekr weeeekkkkkrrr kind of sound*
But I digest.
Or rather I...
..well, no...
...either is true.
Anyway! *smiles quickly, holding up a finger, jauntily*
I flipped on my long ranger's when I came to my senses after that last storm, and something caught my eye.
And, well...
...here's my favorite first minute in a cockpit.
Ever.
*bows and spreads his arms, his vinyl jacket and rubber gloves screeching a cacophony of friction, light dancing off his goggles*
Enjoy!
(P.S.) you have to know this fellow was in California when I first saw him, then Ontario, then finally, this.
Oh, and did you notice his agreement to the contract not to harm Great Mother Gaia by mining ores, or participating in mining ores, or buying anything made from ores, or consuming anything whose production process requires ores, of any kind whatsoever, no matter how slight the relationship?
Next time you see him harming Gaia, remind him of this contract! *pumps fist madly, producing a sound much like exactly two geese dying of rabies while being trampled by banana slugs*.
Accessing Bretonian Police Authority Database
Beginning Archive Search..............New Gaian Front personnel listing...... ERROR! Access to that file is restricted.
Former industrialist and Cambridge University professor Dr. Venture was a celebrated scholar on planet Cambridge before a long night of experimenting with Cardamine dervatives left him mentally unstable. He left planet Cambridge and was known to have linked up with the Green Movement for a brief while before ultimately joining the radical Gaian movement known as the New Gaian Front.
He is known to fly a Chameleon heavy fighter, and likes to preach loudly against the evils of asteroid mining. He has most often been seen operating in the Tau and Dublin systems.
Approach with extreme caution. Subject likes to lure his targets in with curious questioning before holding them at gunpoint, sometimes forcing them to sing hymns of Gaia's praise, and then attacking their ships viciously until they drop their ore shipments, which are then promptly destroyed.
He is also known to periodically carry Cardamine on board his ship, from which he will sometimes partake before lurking in the mining fields....often leading to very morose poetry being read aloud on the comm systems, with occasional crying.
.....interface interrupt.
Please List Doctor's name: Dr. Seuss
Accessing Profile...
Practically nothing is known about the life of the Gaian terrorist known as Dr. Seuss. Few have seen him, and those that have are usually scarred and unable to put their experiences into comprehensive words.
He is known to fly a Gaian Claymore Gunship. There have been reports that miners have heard rhymes echoing over the comm channels as he approached their position...usually firing at them once they are sighted. Here is a transcript of one such encounter recovered from a BMM Hegemon's black box found floating in Dublin:
"I do not like them in the fields.....I do not like the ore it yields.
I cannot stand these miners here, I will not stand until they're clear.
Miners here and miners there, I don't like miners anywhere.
I see a miner up ahead. In 1 more minute I'll see him dead."
Use Extreme Caution
....Ending Archive Search.
....do you really wish to delete this file (y/n)? y
BASKING in the shadow of our friendly Corsair ....friends' Dreadnaughts, watching the enjoyable show that was their assault on the filthy cancerous lump that is King's Cross Station. The stars shining in the background, the melodious thump of energy weapons plastering the base shield. It was indeed glorious. A ripe moment of Gaia's vengeance reaped upon the evil-doers.
When all of a sudden a bunch of no-good Bounty Hunters come bopping along, ready the disrupt our merry-making.
Naturally....I was going to blow all 3 of them to kingdom come....when all of a sudden I got this vision in my head:
I saw Gaia descending from the heavens on a golden staircase, her bosom bouncing merrily in the gravity-free vastness of space. She smiled at me, extended her hand into my cockpit....and touched me on the cheek. And I started to weep like a little boy....who'd just watched his pet rabbit get run over...and the carcass mauled by an angry raccoon.
Then I came too and found myself floating in my escape pod somewhere in New London. Fortunately, a few friendly followers of Gaia found me and brought me back to Trafalgar for some much needed detox...err......R&R.
But just you wait! They haven't heard the last of me, nyaaaa!! Doctor Venture will show them all.
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