You got a donut?

[Zapp]

You walk up to a door on Fort Bush. Behind it, is the sound of a cloth ripping hard. Or maybe sawing logs. Turns out to be a fat and balding man in his fifties sleeping behind a worn and devoid-of-paperwork desk. You clear your throat discreetly, but he continues snoring. Slamming your hands on the table, he jumps up with a start.

"WHUZZA?! WHO DERE? CESAR, DAT BETTAH NAH BE YOU!! Oh, who you? Hmm? Recruit? Why in da name o' bloody 'ell'd you wanna join this misfit piece o' crap... I mean... err... great. Answer dis quiz, and if you do good, you in."

He shoves a piece of paper into your face, and you look at what it says.

1. Do you like donuts?
2. Do you like coffee?
3. Do you like paperwork?
4. Do you have any flight experience?
5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
8. Are you disgruntled?

You walk over to a line of chairs up against the left wall, take out a pen, and prepare to answer the questions. You notice that the fat-man is asleep again, snoring away.

------

OOC:

Well, you wanna join the LPI? You think you got what it takes? Lemme share a secret with you... you could be a 5 year old, who isn't yet potty-trained, doesn't speak fluent English, is ugly, and has a limp, and you would still have what it takes.

Just answer the questions in a funny way. That's what they're there for. You want in, you get in. We don't have any joining requirements, but you will start out in a Patriot, unless I know for a fact that you have good RP.

---

[onca]

~Dwayne sits on the chair with his lanky legs jammed together; without a table he is clumsily filling out the form on his knees. He nervously wipes his sweaty palms on his horizontal-striped short-sleeve office shirt, knocking his clip-on tie askew. His glasses keep sliding down his nose, which he adjusts back by pushing on the cellar-taped middle~

1. Do you like donuts?
My doctor told me I shouldn't eat donuts... they are nutritionally deficient, and the powdered sugar is bad for my asthma. Is a celery stick ok?

2. Do you like coffee?
Mama doesn't like me drinking coffee. It keeps me awake all night. But soy milk is ok. They're both made from beans, right?

3. Do you like paperwork?
One of my hobbies is paper mache. I made a lovely bust of my own head... but sadly it melted when the house got flooded.

4. Do you have any flight experience?
I once took a vacation to Pittsburgh.

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
Pay? Goodness, this is really just something mama suggested to get me out of the house. Well, enough to buy her something special on her birthday, I guess.

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
I must be home absolutely no later than 6 o'clock, or 5:30 in winter, as mama doesn't like me being out after dark.

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
Well, haha, it can't possibly be any worse than the Vespa step-thru space scooter that I have now, can it. I am ready to serve the innocent and deal very assertively with law breakers! Oh and who's Chuck Norris?

8. Are you disgruntled?
Um.... no. Not really. Well yes, when mama insists on making onion and turnip soup for my lunch. It gives me gas. But that's about it.

~Dwayne finishes filling out the form. His writing is all bumpy from his corduroy trousers, and several times the pen punched through the paper. He approaches the snoring man meekly. "Excuse me, sir. Sir! I've finished..."~

[Zapp]

The man -- Deputy Chief Matt Myers wakes up with a roar[/i]

"GOPHER! MY GOD, EJECT! AHHH! FAT COPS AND WOMEN FIRST!!! ABANDON SHIP... oh, it just you. Lemme see dat."

He rips the quiz out of Dwayne's hand and reads it over, making small 'mmhmm' sounds every now and then.

"Mama's boy, eh? Well den. Seein' as we need a decoy for da Gophers, and danglin' meat in front o' dere ships don't work so good as da cold vacuum o' space tends to give i' freezer burn, you be hired. Oh, and that is Chuck Norris."

He points at a large post of a man with a beard and cowboy hat.

"Dey say he be from a time called 'Ol West'. All we know is da he kick ass and lay down da law. He be da super cop."

There is a distinct note of reverence in Matt's voice.

"OI! WHY YOU STILL STANDIN' DERE?! Cesar, get yer lazy bum arse in 'ere and get dis new guy in a Patriot. Oi, and get him some asthma meds, too. Looks like we gonna have to force-feed dis one donuts and coffee. I mean... err... nothin'."

---

[SWilson]

Colin is sitting on a chair in the corner, using the wall to write on. He pulls his sunglasses off and pokes them in his pocket, the office not being very well lit, and begins to fill out the form. His pen occasionally slipping to make an extra line or two.

1. Do you like donuts?
Well, That really depends on the doughnut. If it is coated in cinnamon, then yes. However, I cannot eat Jam Doughnuts, they usually give me a bad case of gas. Usually enough Methane generated to power an entire planet off it.

2. Do you like coffee?
Only a triple-shot of Espresso with cream, chocolate and sugar. Otherwise I simply don't get hyperactive enough to bother shooting at anyone. When I am not Hyper, I am stoned. So coffee like this is good for me, or not. I like being completely stoned.

3. Do you like paperwork?
Well, I made lots of paper planes in class at school and threw them at everyone. Does that count as paperwork? My teachers didn't seem to think so, especially after one lost an eye.

4. Do you have any flight experience?
With Paper planes? I am a pro. In a ship however, Only enough to blow a few pirates out of the sky, When I am hyper on sugar and coffee. Otherwise, I might manage to drift from station to station, Running from any pirate in sight.

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
I dunno, Enough for my supply of Happy Tobacca? The stuff isn't cheap you know. I think the smugglers hate moving it in for a cheap amount, They get caught sometimes.

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
Any time I can be bothered being awake. I seem to have problems sleeping though, Could have something to do with all that lovely coffee, So that is almost any time I can be bothered taking off or un-docking from where I decided to crash for the night, or day, Whichever is the peak time for piracy. Always good to sleep through that.

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
They don't Care? Oh, I am gonna get those bastards. I was always told they cared about those that kept the pirates off their backs. All for Chuck Norris, Lord of all and the greatest to ever live. God can go to hell though, I don't even think he is real, The universe is simply too ****ed up for him to be. Besides, If he was real, Chuck Norris would have defeated him by now and he wouldn't be real any more.

8. Are you disgruntled?
Only when answering quizzes like this and listening to country and rap music. Well, and when I run out of my Happy Tobacca and Espresso.

Colin looks over what he has written and stands up, Wiping his hands on his black cargo pants and placing his sunglasses back on his face. He walks over to the fat man and stomps his foot on the floor loudly. He speaks loudly, throwing a sheet of paper and a pen down on the desk. "Hey, I've finished this useless thing..."

---

-Scott Wilson

Jack West, Freelancer
Jacob West, Junker Captain of Jacob West's Psychosis
Officer Jasper Newton "Jack" Daniel, Liberty Police, Inc.
Richard "Blacknight" deLioncourt, Sadistic Psychopath

[7:55:43 PM] Reverend JacquiSG: I'm always civilised.
[7:55:49 PM] Reverend JacquiSG: That's why I have a hat.

[Zapp]

Matt bolts awake again, and with seeming lightning fast reflexes, surprising for a man of his girth, he snatches the paper out of the air. He stuffs it in the drawer without looking at it.

"Congratulations, you're hired."

"Wait, what... you're not even gonna look at..."

"I said yer hired! Now get yer lazy bum arse out and into whatever you wanna do. I could care less."

By the last sentence, he was already falling asleep again.

---

[kacijon]

Kacijon steps in the office look around and find some paper for requiment he read all of them and then start anwsering.

1. Do you like donuts?
Yes i like the i like them from my 4 year.

2. Do you like coffee?
I always drink coffe after luch. my father teach me how to do it.

3. Do you like paperwork?
I start making paper work since i was 3 . I made ships and planes.

4. Do you have any flight experience?
I flew in space since i was 6 (with father).My first ship was starfiller junior mkII

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
Well nothing my father is send me out with 5000 credits .

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
from morning to almost evening im ready to put bandids out of liberty.

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
I call other to they help me i cant destroy pirate transport (or something smaller or bigger) with patriot . but small fighter can be destroy.


8. Are you disgruntled?
Little.

---

Former CEO of BMM
I had women, gold, luxury, carpets and luxury liner....

[DarkRupture]

Dean Higa walked into the bar, apparently drunk, he fist sat on the Recruiter thinking it was a chair and noticed it moved, he freaked and sat down on the bar stool. Little did he know there was gum stuck on the top. he grabbed as pencil and wrote the following.

1. Do you like donuts?
Ma Mum said i cant eat donuts but i still eat them everyday. I love donuts including chocolate......mmmm...
Drools in wonderland

2. Do you like coffee?
Are ya kidding this Liquid may looks like.....uhhh Ship but it always gives me a jolt.

3. Do you like paperwork?
......................

4. Do you have any flight experience?
Yea i am ranked top one on da game 'Useless Flight Similator' i merk on it!!

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
There was PAY??? turns around

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
uhhh depends on what the boss wants, if he wants 1 minute ya got it if ya want 24 hours i quit! i still have to play useless flight similator when i get back to my apartment at manhattan.

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?

Man Strapping myself in a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seatsis my dream!! But i could use a liberator... YEs yes and NO!!!! Chuck norris is my archnemesis....he will die...... Well if the people Dont care then i dont care...*burps*


8. Are you disgruntled?

wha WHO??????....

[Zapp]

Matt Myers took the first form and read it down quickly.

"Only a little disgruntled?! CESAR! GET YER LAZY BUM ARSE IN HERE AND GET THIS MAN DISGRUNTLED!!"

He takes the other form and reads it.

"Just the intelligence level we're... umm... looking for. Good man."

---

[kacijon]

Thx zan realy thx

---

Former CEO of BMM
I had women, gold, luxury, carpets and luxury liner....

[jimmarkey]

Jim Markey comes into the room, looking a lot more disgruntled than some.

Matt! You owe me for those donuts Dean ate! They were the last ones in my hold! Oh, and Jeff says that he needs those Razors soon. What for, I couldn't guess.

Jim turns to leave, then looks back over his shoulder at Cesar's office. To be more specific, at the "Do Not Disturb, Officer At Work" sign on the door.

Any chance I can get one of those for my Liberator? It might cut down on the time spent doing things. Oh, and one last thing, I promise! When are we gonna get the gopher/gerbil/hamster/<ins= smallfurrycreaturename x infinity>?

Jim leaves the office, leaving Matt looking rather red in the face


//This is Boss, this forum account is for RP reasons.

---

Zone 21? Wut dat?