15th of January 818 A.S.: Planet Toledo: Medical center; medical report about subjugation attempt
____________________________________________________________________________________
07:34: "Unknown pilot, male, was brought in this morning. Had been found on the floor in his ship, alive but not well. Showed signs of unusual activity in certain areas of the brain and stomach as diagnosed by the medical team receiving him from the patrol. We immediately geared up for the worst, which I hoped would not be the case. Luckily, it wasn't."
07:47: "Examined the fluid we were able to extract from his stomach and esophagus. Liquid cardamine. Likely injected by common Nomad incubus to start an infestation process. Yet the small amount let us conclude that the incubus couldn't proceed any further or was stopped by something or someone. Immediate procedures had to take place if we wanted to save the patient. There aren't many records of cases like this, which makes him quite a lucky person. A bit more of the liquid cardamine and time and there would have been nothing we could have done."
08:20: "Extraction process started immediately as there wasn't much time left. If too much of the liquid would be absorbed by his body, we would have had no choice but to kill him. Extraction itself was very difficult but successful. Patient had been laid to rest in a separated section of the medical center."
16:30: "The damage was already done in this short amount of time. While the patient retained his human state, the changes had already been set into motion. He wasn't under danger of becoming a nomadic host, though the increase of his brain activity tipped off some of our other scientists. In addition, his metabolism is off the charts. That was eight hours after extraction of the liquid cardamine and the numbers don't seem to drop. It is probable that this condition will affect him for quite some time, if not the rest of his life."
17:51: "Patient woke up as we wanted to take another blood sample. Seemed to have quite the headache and stated he'd feel immense pain from his insides. But he seemingly knew what happened as he wasn't too surprised. Patient couldn't really talk much and therefore we let him rest after we provided him painkillers. Tomorrow, we'll be conducting more tests and hopefully find out what we're dealing with here exactly."
16th of January 818 A.S.: Planet Toledo: Medical center; patient status
____________________________________________________________________________________
07:30: "Started off the day relatively quiet. Patient in separated section from yesterday showed continuous increased metabolism and brain activity. Scan results from the night showed, that his body was consuming a lot more energy than it is normal. Internal organs such as liver and kidneys have been affected by the liquid cardamine as well, causing slight mutations to take place."
09:00: "Upon further tests to determine the final outcome of this change, it turned out to look relatively grim. The concentration of the liquid cardamine cast quite a beating on the patient's body. Even if we were to treat him with cutting edge technology, we'd be unable to completely reverse the effects. I wish we would have acted sooner..."
11:19: "Patient was conscious and able to talk. He stated that the pain was gone but also felt very exhausted and unstable. I've issued a request of cardamine to stabilize his status. There didn't seem to be another way. Left patient to rest afterwards."
11:41: "I didn't tell him about his state yet, nor did I know how he would react. While seeming to know what happened to him, the patient seemed unaware of his medical condition. When I went back to him to provide him the cardamine, he started to talk about himself. Apparently lost his way after being declined by the Order as possible candidate. Then got attacked by an overwhelming force. He also told me his name, [RETRACTED]. Patient also stated to feel better after the cardamine was administered, seemingly feeling joy as the previous pain and uneasiness was gone."
13:41: "I've talked to a bunch of people, including the Order's secondary fleet recruitment officers. Given his state, the best option would be to work with a lead, rather than being left to himself. However, I did not mention his medical condition, as that might make it impossible for him to join the Order's ranks. Instead, I've issued the 'production' of a special cardamine dispenser, which the patient wouldn't know of when 'wearing' it. Until he is able to live his own life again, mentioning his addiction might prove devastating."
16:57: "Completed the specifications for the dispensing device. It'll be implanted in his [RETRACTED] and will be refilled all three days under cover of medical check-ups. For now, this is all I can do for him. I hope he'll find a way to cope with it once we tell him..."
29th of January 818 A.S.: the Omicrons
____________________________________________________________________________________
06:13: "Thought I'd make a log of the things that are going to happen in my future. The first time I was told to go back to the recruitment office of the Order I was surprised. Didn't expect them to want me here any longer but according to the medical staff it's somewhat unsafe to leave on my own in my current 'condition', although I felt perfectly fine. Regardless, I'll continue making entries, maybe some day it'll come in handy."
09:58: "Just finished patrolling Omicron Delta. Got to see the place again where my previous ship was found. Weird feeling. Ominous in a way. After all that was the place where I met that...thing. Unpleasant to say the least, given the medical staff stated that I almost died because of it. Never seen anything like it before and couldn't react in time. Quite strong for its size as well. Somehow...I can see my memories floating around there, as if part of my soul was ripped out and anchored in space. Quite startling..."
10:51: "Couldn't quite forget about that site in Delta. We're back now in Minor, restocking at Isis. But something seems off. Although I feel fine, I seem to notice a great deal more than anyone else in my wing does. Weird that I realize this right now, as I've already been flying a while for the Order. And yet, with every other day, I seem to improve my perception of things all around me. Gotta ask the medical staff about this once back on Toledo."
16:47: "Just got the message to head back down. Another wing will take our place and resume the patrol. Been offered to have a drink with my squadron but had to decline since I wanted to see some of the medical staff before calling it a day."
25th of December 818 A.S.: the Omicrons; aftermath
____________________________________________________________________________________
08:12: "Been a couple of days since my last entry. A lot of things happened that might have long reaching consequences, especially for [RETRACTED], the Order as well as myself. I've yet to grasp what happened yesterday...so many things, yet her strength didn't falter. A perfect example that there is always hope, no matter how dark the situation."
08:34: "Heading back to Toledo after having said my goodbyes. I must confess to never have met someone like that, let alone hear of such noble and honest intentions. It's...heartwarming, to say the least. In all that positive energy, though, also lies an equal amount of realism and knowledge to balance each other out...such a...special personality as well..."
09:21: "Arrived back at Toledo. Remembered that I still have to do the medical checkup and will go there momentarily. Gotta say, I'm feeling a little tired and weak, even though I woke up just three hours ago..."
11:29: "Back in space. Can't quite believe what just happened. Apparently the reason for my 'discomfort', as they described it, is some sort of drug that my body needs to keep going. Over all this time, they didn't mention a thing about it. More than eleven months! And shockingly, it's just as they said. After their 'medical check' I felt like reborn. If it's that strong of a dependency then why..."
15:53: "I requested some time for myself for the time being as that drug story drove me crazy. They declined, though...said it would be better to keep me distracted, rather than leave me alone to think about it. Can't say they're wrong. But I've got the bad feeling that at some point it's all gonna come back in one flash...which sounds reasonably troublesome."
07th of January 819 A.S.: the Omicrons; Toledo incident
____________________________________________________________________________________
04:15: "Those bastards...I knew the Nomads were destructive, but this?! Whole Toledo? What the hell happened here? I only received a communique about retreating, that we have chance of holding the planet any longer...all those people down there. All gone...like ripples through space. Heartbreaking..."
06:34: "Was able to catch a bit of sleep, though, I could still hear their screams. The whole planet was apparently opened up by something gigantic. With technology we haven't see before. I'm currently sitting by Toledo in my fighter...and the whole planet is burning. Whoever was left on the planet didn't have a chance...those monsters..."
09:42: "Been flying back and forth from Minor to Zeta, it doesn't help. Still can feel the ripples...so many souls stripped from their bodies. How am I supposed to go on with that in mind? If anything, anger won't help much...it'll only make things worse...though, can I control myself well enough to not succumb to the sheer desperation and vengeful feelings the others have? I need to stay strong, however hard it may be."
14:37: "Was recalled back to base, Akabat to be precise. Our new home as the Order calls it. Can't really say it resembles Toledo the slightest since it seems so quiet around these parts. Regardless, I've got to attend a meeting."
15:56: "Was briefed with the situation we're all in. If anything, the situation looks rather grim. Even the high ranked personnel don't really seem to know how to handle the loss of Toledo. Can't blame them, considering everyone lost something on that now fiery world...I just wish she was here right now..."
16th of March 819 A.S.: the Omicrons; problems
____________________________________________________________________________________
03:00: A deep sigh can be heard. "Five days since last entry. Can't say I'm feeling like talking at all. It just starts to rain down on me more and more heavily. Despite telling myself that what happened can't be changed, I still accuse myself of my inability to do anything, manipulate an outcome even the slightest. Who am I? What am I fighting for and why. What would you do in this case, [RETRACTED]? I'm growing weaker by the day and don't know how to react..."
07:51: "Finally managed to get some sleep. Though, it was only a couple of hours, I feel sort of better now. Perhaps I'm just thinking too much? I should maybe spend more time with my colleagues, too. Get some fresh input from outside. For now, the patrol wing is waiting for me..." The recording abruptly ends.
19:02: "T'was a long day. But a good one nevertheless, despite the bad start I had. We talked a lot during our flight, mentioning how the situation was hard to cope with. Everyone agreed with me. These were hard times after all and here I thought I was the only one, alone. Regardless, the patrol turned out quiet. Nothing but a couple of Zoners in the other systems. Not sure if I like the silence, though..."
19:14: "Gonna go out with a couple of pilots tonight. Those that were with me when we did our rounds through the Omicrons. Perhaps things will get better from this, we'll see. Now, off I go!"
18th of March 819 A.S.: the Omicrons; problems
____________________________________________________________________________________
"06:03: Well...I'm back where I started. Apparently the others don't think like me, or even similar. They have their own way of handling things and when I mentioned my way of thinking it all went down hill. I'm not exactly sure what reason there was for them to make such a big deal out of it, but they even requested a change of roster in our squadron...concerning me..."
07:21: "I've been going about this many times now, trying to figure out what was wrong that evening. I only started to discuss how alcohol is surely not a way to deal with one's sorrow and pain, since in my opinion it would only make it worse. Seems like the fact that I didn't drink myself made the situation all the worse. Since I'm still addicted to cardamine the processing of alcohol would probably be quite painful and hard to deal with...and the Order might find out after all and kick me out. They didn't want to hear any of it...called be a stuck-up man who's unable to have some fun once in a while...while I -was- having fun to begin with."
09:43: "Requested a day off to think about this so that hopefully I can come up with something to compensate. It's important that I keep going no matter what. I've learned that by now. If it means that other people misjudge me or have prejudices, then so be it. It's not about what others think, but what I can make of this life...and I'm going to aim high...very high."
11:45: "The operations in Kusari are going to kick in soon. While it's been a while since I was appointed for service there, it's going to be a good distraction from everything else. That said, the importance of those missions are what can be considered beyond very high. I won't fail anyone this time and I'm going to bring everyone back alive as well. That's my goal for now..."
31st of December 819 A.S.: the Omicrons; unexpected turn
____________________________________________________________________________________
10:00: "I've made up my mind. There's nothing more I could do in the Order, not in my present state. Not even sure if I'll ever get back to them again. Regardless, I need time to look after myself. The last months have been hard on me, as mentioned in the previous logs. I thought my position as Overwatch would make everything somewhat better. Yet the only thing it did was to isolate me further from others. A lot of people depending on me and all that jazz...I just couldn't bear with it."
13:32: "Didn't eat. Didn't feel like it. I've set my mind to a place away from the Omicrons. Everything about me cringes as soon as I meet other people, let alone talking with them. Since...her death I've never felt as down as now...something that I need to change. I'll keep trying. But with the cardamine nagging on me as well as giving me visions I can't explain, that'll be quite hard..."
15:39: "Went to Gran Canaria to get away from that green sight of a mess. It's quite nice around here. Reminds me of when I first met [RETRACTED]. Quite odd circumstances, since it was a similar type of vision that connected our 'fates'. And here I am wishing for her to be by my side, listening to her rambling about the bigger picture compared to individual feelings." A weak chuckle can be heard. "Though...it would contradict with what happened then..."
17:42: "Rented a room...quite spacious with looks on the surrounding area. Feel like staying here for quite a while, though, I have no idea when the visions will catch up again. Should I be on edge about it? Or should I just turn off every sense for paranoia at this time? Truth is, I don't know what it'll be when that happens..."
15th of January 820 A.S.: Colonies; 'liberty'
____________________________________________________________________________________
05:00: "What a useless day. What others call a birthday, I call a curse that keeps reminding me of this pitiful existence. I've run out of cardamine and unless I seek out the Rogues in this system, I'll be in an even worse position by nightfall. While Manhattan brings back some nice memories, it eventually turns into torture, knowing that those days won't ever come back again."
13:08: "Finally managed to snatch some of the drugs from a pirate convoy in the badlands. Quite risky, but worth it. At least now I can concentrate on other things. Speaking of which, I decided to join up with the Mandalorian Mercenaries to occupy myself under an alias, [REDACTED]. Since whole Liberty and other Houses are probably still hunting me for the sake of law, it made no sense to keep my original name. In addition, I will have to avoid any medical checkups in this space, or I'm busted. Even if the law-system in Liberty is quite corrupt and I could probably just buy myself out, should the need arise. Still, no need to risk it."
15:51: "Managed to save up enough for dinner by hunting down several wanted criminals. Dirty work, but at least I won't have to fly around with an empty stomach. Anything but that. On another note, I've looked up the contact I'm gonna meet soon. A certain Holloway is currently in charge from what I know. Wonder what type of person he is. The typical mercenary type, or a person holding a deeper meaning to life? Time will tell."
23:31: "Tch, day's almost over and I can't fall asleep whatsoever. While the day turned out better than expected due to that damned drug, I'm still somewhat unsure on where to go with my mind. This restlessness is disturbing ever since I left the Order. I probably didn't talk to people for the last like... weeks. Have I begun becoming anti-social..? Hm, doubtful, always been this way as far as I can tell? Too bad... if she was here, she'd scold me good... damn shame."
21st of June 820 A.S.: Omicrons; remorse
____________________________________________________________________________________
07:01: "It's been so long, too long... I've nearly lost all track of time. Getting back into the Omicrons without steady cardamine supply proved to be a foolish endeavor. What was I thinking... no, I can't even think. The withdrawal makes it impossible. I feel like death, and the more time passes, the more I feel the urge to shoot myself in the head. It's unbearable... and they... they're all looking at me as if I'm some sort of monster. All of them... am I not human anymore? What happened... why is th-" The recording abruptly ends.
10:23: "Red. Lights. Red... lights? Those sounds. Gunfire. Screams. Curiosity... too great. Using combat suit. Order origin, high tech. Exoskeleton, powered fiber... got to kill... intruders? Cardamine possibly among them, can't take chances..."
13:49: "Silence... finally. Monsters are dead, along with intruders. Heh, sliced them up good... secondary lifeforms from abdominal areas exposed... and killed as well. Minimal survivors. Who were the real monsters?! Those stares... no more. Silence, peace. But no cardamine! Seems like... carving it out from the remains... last option..? No, unsure where to look... got to consult an expert..."
14:23: "Heheh. Found one, but with the same face, same expression. Terrified to see me... killed him as well. Can't... bare their stares, those monsters. Looked through medical area... to no avail. Must keep cardamine separately, secured. Have to find it!"
19:31: "I... can't believe it. Everything in my head cleared up. The cardamine saved me again, eh? No! What have I done?!" The voice is somewhat erratic in somewhat of a state of panic. "To what lengths... did I have to go to get this? Why... did I kill everybody? Is that what withdrawal does to me? Makes me a monster? Whole... families dead. I killed them in cold blood! What the hell is happening?! Everyone... how could this happen..? Blood everywhere... incubi, Wild... why, why?! If anyone listens to this... I'm.. so sorry. No... this won't suffice. I've got to take measures to prevent this from happening again... nobody will mi-" The recording abruptly ends again.
