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Virginia rubbed her nose and closed her eyes for a moment. She had won over her short temper, but it had cost her a lot of mental strength. It was obvious from her expression, however, that Holiday's advice was not exactly falling on listening ears. Women of Virginia Belle's nature simply had a mind of their own. "A commander must always maintain a personal distance from his subordinates, Doctor.", she replied in a deeper and quieter tone than was usual for her, "Subordinates don't need a mortal man or woman over them, but an icon, an ideal, and an example of how things should be done. We are a military unit, not a family.".
She opened her eyes and blinked, her gaze briefly looking tired before she regained her inner strength and her gaze and expression sharpened, "But it's been too much for me lately, that's true. I don't normally have these problems, but...", she sighed briefly and finished the baileys from her glass, "... but now I have about three times as much to deal with as before. Worrying about the crew, paperwork with the crew, gathering materials and supplies, crew conflicts and suicides... basically doing what three different departments used to do before.".
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He listened as she spoke, especially about the part "a military unit, not a family." It brought to mind something his father once told him long ago. It also reminded him of the losing cause for which he fought and the conflicts it caused.
"My father was a military man," he explained, "and he often told me of how he was closer to his military family than his own. The honor he shared with them, the blood spilt and being in combat alongside them brought him closer to them than anyone else will ever understand......and he was a commander. Never say the military is not a family."
He scaled back a bit. "That said, you lead your people as you will. I know of the workload you have as mine is no different and I too lead by example treating those as I wish to be treated and that is with respect by friend and foe alike."
He sipped his Scotch. "Now I will order prescriptions for your people enough to take the edge off but the issue will be re-visited. As I said, mental health meds can be addictive and are easily abused. Are there any questions on this before we discuss training?"
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Virginia brushed an unruly strand of blonde hair out of her face with her hand and shook her head, "That's the way it's, it would be hard to find stronger bonds than those forged on the battlefield.", she sighed briefly while shaking her head, "But even so, there are things we don't talk about because it might erode mutual respect.".
She briefly turned her gaze back to the dark clouds before turning her attention back to John Holiday, "Yes, one thing just occurred to me. Couldn't my people learn to recognize and treat depression? Maybe then they could do it without medication with just good unforced advices. But they need to know what they're talking about, I can't afford any more suicides... I've only got half as many people as I used to."
She wondered for a moment if she should add something to lighten the atmosphere. The weight of their words was considerable, and perhaps a little too sentimental for her taste, but in the end she could not think of any suitable quip to lighten it, so she preferred to remain silent.
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"As everyone deals with depression differently, there is no easy way to tell. Common signs are loss of interests in things that one often did say, a hobby or something. Some people will seem very distant and reclusive whereas before they were not. I will say this, a problem cannot be fixed until it is admitted to and that is often the hardest part." He gave a soft smile when he completed the explanation. "That is why your own example will help. They see it, your people are more apt to open up and those considering taking their own lives will not be as quick to do so."
Doc was no therapist and was doing his best based on experience. Was it working? He could only hope. She was a tougher case than Cobra had been. Still, she was confiding in him and didn't want to fail or bring her to anger. She was an experienced fighter and while he was quick with his guns, it wasn't the answer.
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Virginia shook her head and lowered her gaze to the table before looking up again and replying, "For my people to open up they don't need to know my weakness, they need to know that I care and that I'd do almost impossible for them... the problem is that we've been through a lot, more than any of us expected and we're haunted by the nightmares of our past decisions, my decisions.".
She paused for a moment as she struggled with her self-control. Towards the end, her words were heavy and emotion laced her speech. She was angry, angry at herself. She had underestimated the whole situation surrounding the defection from the Liberty Insurgency to the Liberty Free Republic because she had allowed herself to be lulled by Cobra that everything would turn out fine. It did not, she lost a third of her people over it - not lost, but practically got them murdered. Was it worth it? I suppose so, but Virginia was no psychopath despite the image she presented to the public and at the end of each day she had to confess to her conscience.
These battles were far from won, there has not been any real progress so far and both her crew and herself were feeling down about it.
She blinked long and sighed, "They followed me through hell and the last thing they need to see is the captain dragging them through this journey questioning their decisions. They may be weak and vulnerable, but I mustn't... or else...", she paused for a moment and shook her head, "... or it will all blow up in my face.".
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"I learned long ago," he replied, "and I tell this to my own people that a lot of the time, we have to make that quick decision, you know, the one we did not know we were going to have to make and that is a majority of them. Just make it. We have to. If it turns out to not be a good one, learn from it. I think that we can agree that we often do not have time to weigh things out and that they can be mentally taxing."
He took a look over where her crews and his medical trainers were mingling a little as they started learning about one another. He could see the looks of wear upon her people but noticed some soft smiles as they were in an environment where they weren't under threat. His trainers were always eager to pass along knowledge and were generally well spirited. They recently had come off of shore leave so they were well rested.
The ship commander was watching with a mug of coffee in her hand. She too was relaxed but satisfied even if training hadn't yet totally begun.
Doc just smiled a bit, looking out what was going on as he answered Virginia. "I think this will help them mentally, a lot! Just knowing you have the power to save a life takes some of that vulnerability away." He paused a moment as he watched, knowing his people wouldn't disappoint. "Right now, they do not need us," he said with a look of pride.
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Virginia sighed and shrugged, "Yes, we all have to learn from our mistakes, but this isn't the chess game I used to play with my first officer - there's a lot more to the game than my pride when I lose.". With a gesture of her left hand, she indicated to the robotic waiter that she would like another drink and turned her gaze to Doc Holiday.
She didn't say anything for a moment, just waited for another glass of baileys on the rocks to be delivered and from her expression - all sorts of thoughts raced through her head. She turned her gaze to the familiarizing members of the two crews at the bar and shook her head slightly as she took a sip from her glass, "Yes, we're not needed right now."
Virginia lit another vanilla cigarette and took a long drag from it before blowing the aromatic smoke in John Holiday's direction, "How long is this whole thing actually going to take before they're trained? Will they be able to educate themselves further remotely?".
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He was watching them as he answered. "If they have a basic knowledge of first aid and I believe they do, then really it is up to them." He then turned back to her. "The more time they have with my people, the better we can make them. If you think about it, no one is going to chase you into Kepler and Ames is still neutral ground. Between your ship, my Med Force cruiser and plenty of provisions, we can stay as long as needed. For you all, it is a welcomed break no doubt."
He sipped his Scotch. Realizing the glass was now empty, he ordered another. "If you keep a regular training program going, they should be able to keep their skills sharp."
He then thought a moment and tapped his finger on the table. "If you can spare them, give me say, four of your people. I am thinking if you have a couple of combat paramedics for the field work, they can keep everyone trained and of course, we can meet up now and then for some brush up training. Also, if you have two really outstanding people whom you can really spare, I can take them out to Omicron Theta to learn surgery. Having a couple of good surgeons can make the difference between life or death.
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Virginia shook her head and took a sip from her glass, "The vast majority of my people have paramedic training, can provide basic field medical aid and stabilize injured patients. Rather, what I'm missing are medics who know more - about diseases, prevention and more advanced medications. People who will keep the crew healthy and handle most of the common things that can happen to people on a large spaceship."
She tapped her chin thoughtfully with her left index finger and glanced back at her people briefly as if thinking about something. After a moment she turned back to John Holiday, "All twelve can go for some more advanced training - eight for some faster, more brief training so they'll be available, but the other four can go for more lengthy courses... I don't know what all physicians learn, but there are a lot of things you can skip, like how to take care of pregnant women and small children, that's not exactly an option on a warship. Same with elderly diseases and conditions."
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He thought about what she said. "There is a term for surgery in a combat zone. We refer to it as meatball surgery. A lot of patients come full of everything from shrapnel from an explosion to having large chunks of a ships armor sticking out of them. You do the best you can with the time you have. If it is an organ someone can live without and there is no time to properly fix it if it can be fixed at all then we just remove it. I think with the training they already have, they will be better when we are done with them."
He sipped his drink. "Now for the four you speak of. Give me your best four and let me take them for a couple of months or even more. When they return, you will have four well trained surgeons. It is a rigorous training regiment out in Omicron Theta but well worth it." He gave a soft smile. "Even if they do not need to take care of the mentioned pregnant woman, they will be skilled in it." He jested a little. "Captain, you know as well as I do that people get together on ship when no one is around. Hopefully, nothing comes of it but, one never knows, right?"
"You will also find that things like arthritis are not just for the elderly. Too many combat wounds can bring that on in someone your own age if not treated." He smiled reassuringly. "Trust me, it will be a worthwhile investment."
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