To: [SIS] CC: BPA, CDI), BretGov

[Madvillain]

Alright To Whom It May Concern, I implore you, send your dogs off me! You know exactly what I’m talking about, don’t you? The late-night neural net transmissions aimed directly at my address, honestly, one would think you lot have nothing better to do than to play tricks with an accomplished academic such as myself. The strange, impossible coincidences, for instance: running into the same constable twelve times per week? Really, is this some kind of sick joke or is your surveillance team merely inept? Not to mention the continual, relentless attempts to wire my shuttle with listening devices. Do you really believe that I won’t notice the discrepancies in the calibration logs? How incredibly amateurish! And let’s not forget those foul exhaust fumes! It’s as though some of your goons are deliberately loitering next to my open window, pouring forth all sorts of chemical filth into the air. I am a man of the environment, sirs! An activist in every sense of the word, fully aware of the fragility of our ecosystem! The very idea that I, a man of principle, would be hounded by such pollution, both literal and metaphorical, is beyond absurd. But of course, it’s all perfectly legal for your agents to act in such a way, isn’t it? After all, you lot in your fine suits think you can do whatever you wish, don’t you? Now, I will not tolerate being shadowed any longer. I am a private citizen, a man of intellect and culture, and yet I am treated as if I were some common criminal. This, I assure you, will not stand. Perhaps, just perhaps, you’re all simply jealous, jealous of my charming wit, my youthful dashingness, my unparalleled charisma as an academic. It’s truly hard, I’m sure, for an agency as dull as yours to handle a man of such magnificence. But that, I’m afraid, is not my problem. However, let me make myself absolutely clear: this nonsense ends now. I have absolutely nothing to hide, and if these repeated incursions into my private space continue, I shall have you know that my family estate has left me with a considerable fortune. And I will not hesitate to use it, whether it’s for legal cases, or perhaps more robust measures, should it come to that. I trust you understand what I mean. The Bretonian government has long been playing a dangerous game, and I am fully aware of your affairs. The big corporations, your darling corporate puppeteers, are all guilty of overstepping their bounds. All of this under the pretext of rebuilding the nation after the horrors of Leeds. What a load of rubbish! You can’t fool me, not any longer, you money-grabbing, bootlicking sycophants. I am furious, I will have you know, you have nothing on me and I will not stand idly by. Not any longer! Take this as your final warning.

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[Agent Zackery Statham]

To: The Civilian
Subj: Bedlam
Encryption: ROYAL

Mr.Beverly,

While normally we do not take it to respond to civilians without them following proper channels, that being filing a Freedom of Information Act then waiting as is to be expected through proper bureaucratic processes. That being said, I can assure you that no surveillance of you is being performed by anyone here at The Service. Even if it were, you wouldn't be aware as we are the best at what we do. Might I suggest making your way to Planet Cambridge at the earliest convenience and heading to Bethlem Royal Hospital and seeking some sort of professional help. You seem to be suffering from some kind of psychotic break.

To be entirely honest, this is the first time I've ever even heard of you.

Deputy Director Zackery Statham [Retd.]
H.M.S.I.S

[Madvillain]

Mr. Statham, I must admit, your reply was exactly what I expected from a man of your profession: completely dismissive and embarrassingly disinterested. It’s truly a masterstroke in deflection. But I must stress, I’m no fool. You’re clearly not as "out of the loop" as you claim to be, are you, Mr. Statham? I know full well you’ve heard of me, even if it’s the first time you’re admitting it. That’s exactly what someone with your position would say, isn’t it? ‘Oh, I’ve never heard of you, Beverly. You’re just imagining things.’ While I appreciate your effort to deflect my concerns with your highly professional suggestion that I might be suffering from a “psychotic break”, I feel the need to correct a rather ridiculous and persistent bit of misinformation that seems to have been circulating a lot! Let me be abundantly clear, since I fear subtlety is not your strong suit: I have absolutely no ties to the Gaians. None. Zip. Zero. The idea that I, a respectable academic, might be involved in their “nefarious activities” is, frankly, as far-fetched as suggesting I’m running a secret cider business out of my study. What a load of tosh! The mere suggestion that my brief involvement with the Gaian Underloch during my university days amounts to some kind of secret double life is not only inaccurate, it’s downright silly. These allegations are nothing more than idle gossip and baseless rumours spread by those who have nothing better to do than make a mountain out of a molehill. And trust me, I’d know: being an academic and all, I’ve had my fair share of exposure to unfounded speculation. The truth is, I’ve had as much connection to their activities as I have to the contents of your inbox. Nothing, Mr. Statham, nothing! As I’ve already made clear, I’m no “criminal.” I’m an academic. A thinker. A man of principles. If you insist on continuing your surveillance, or if you think I’ll fall prey to your crude tactics and clumsy deflections, I suggest you prepare for a rather rude awakening. Should your agency, or the BPA, or the CDI, or the armed forces continue to waste your time on this nonsensical charade, be assured that I will take every step necessary to ensure that your resources are better spent elsewhere. If that means dragging you into an entirely different kind of mess, one where your little games will come back to haunt you, I shall. Do bear in mind, Mr. Statham, that I’m perfectly capable of making things very... uncomfortable for you and your colleagues.

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[jammi]

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From: Sergeant Reggie Top, CDI.

To: Gerald Berverley, academic(?).

Topic: RE: [Flagged as spam] .

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Ey Gerald You wouldn't believe half the stuff I've seen as a sergeant. Think of me as a friendly whistleblower who might be able to save your skin. They're definitely out to get ya. Hear that scratching in the walls at night? That's the rat-drones tapping away with their wee little surveillance devices, monitoring your dreams. That sparrow you saw on your way to work four days on the trot? You better believe your highly perceptive intuition was bang on the money. More drones, watching where you're going, who you're seeing, what you're doing. Your colleagues? They're all turned informant, and are out to get ya. Wired with microphones, and in cahoots with the rats and the sparrows. We've got a van parked outside your home, monitoring the betawaves from your brain, making sure there's nothing subversive rattling around in there. Your friendly whistleblower recommends plating your headwear of choice with tin foil, stops The Listenator dead in its tracks. And now for the most important bit, the thing that could well save your life and liberty. The drones and wiretaps have a secret override phrase built in that can deactivate any in earshot as a job lot. Whenever you hear that scratching, see that worrisome little sparrow, or clock a colleague watching you a wee bit too closely, just belt out the secret code phrase as loud as ya can, and they'll sod right off. "Emit ecilop gnitsaw pots dluohs ohw norom dionarap gnirehtalb a mi". I'm just trying to do the right thing, see? Cheers Sergeant Reggie Top | Civil Defence Initiative | Bretonian Police Authority Special Constabulary | Unit 24, Stanbrook Hall, Millgarth Street, Wharferdale City, Aberavon, Planet Sprague, Omega-3. BW0101 WD56 3LO. | Web: https://nn.CivilDefence.police.br | Mail: rtop@cdi.police.br | Tel: +7755631 230234 000| Attached files (0) N/A

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News article library, feedback and content requests.

[Madvillain]

Your message, Sergeant, has been received and has left me with more questions than answers. While your tone and content are, admittedly, somewhat unusual, I am concerned by the implications of what you’ve shared. The mention of rats and sparrows being employed as tools of surveillance is deeply troubling, not because of any paranoia on my part, but due to the ethical and environmental concerns such practices would raise. If, as you claim, rats and sparrows are being used in such a capacity, one must ask: what sort of conditions are these creatures subjected to? Are they well-treated, or are they merely seen as expendable instruments of observation? The very thought of animals being exploited in this manner is a stark reminder of how little regard Bretonian organizations such as the CDI, should your claims prove true, appear to have for the natural world. You may not be aware, but I am an outspoken advocate for environmental preservation and the welfare of all living beings. The notion that sparrows, creatures that symbolize freedom and the beauty of nature, could be reduced to tools of surveillance is disheartening. It speaks volumes about the disregard for the sanctity of life and the ecosystems we depend on. Your mention of monitoring vans and brainwave analysis raises serious concerns, particularly as it explains the loitering vehicles I have observed outside my window. If the CDI truly engages in such invasive practices, it reflects a troubling disregard for both personal liberty and the natural world. Resources wasted on these operations could be far better used for rebuilding efforts or ecological restoration. If animals or nature are being exploited or harmed as part of their activities, I assure you I will not stand idly by. My concerns extend beyond myself to the wellbeing of all living creatures and the environment we share. That does not make me a Gaian extremist, that simply makes me the better man.

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