Threatening me with George Bush just makes me want to antagonise you..... I am not afraid of the Monkey President..;)
Anyway, the story is not bad - Your characters could use some more depth, who are they? why do they do the things they do? Why did Gneisenau gun down the farmer, ignoring his pleas of "having a family" but then used the same line on the rogues when he met them near buffalo. Thats just my opinion though - i just like to know more about the people....
Gneisenau so far is not really a likeable fellow - though if you're setting him up to be a cold hearted killer i guess that's the point!:).
A few little spelling things there.. but meh its fine.... i've actually seen your character online before.. now i know more about him....
' Wrote:Anyway, the story is not bad - Your characters could use some more depth, who are they? why do they do the things they do? Why did Gneisenau gun down the farmer, ignoring his pleas of "having a family" but then used the same line on the rogues when he met them near buffalo. Thats just my opinion though - i just like to know more about the people....
Gneisenau so far is not really a likeable fellow - though if you're setting him up to be a cold hearted killer i guess that's the point!:)
Thanks,
I guess i could have went more in depth about him before i started his story. Anyway. His Family means everything to him. He will do anything, Destroy, kill, steal, Even kill another person who pleas for his life and family, if it gets in his way of supporting his own family. The role for this character is played heavily on supporting his family back at Malta. he is seen often going to the liberty systems to capture Naval pilots for slave work on his small family plantation. Also, to collect a small amount of necessary cargo items, like raw materials that a he could not get elsewhere. If some of you have noticed me in game, if i do pirate i (95% of the time) ask for cargo, then if they will not i let them slide with small demand of usually no more then 500k credits. This character is not for the making of money as i had said, for the plantation does that for him. My other character. (peg leg Lenny), witch i will be making a new story for him, is the Cardi runner for the Gneisenau family (therefor, the way i get my money, so no need to be outrages with demands). Anyway. i will revise the first post so you all shall get to know a bit more about him. when i think of a good beginning for it.
Another post, tell me what you think so far. Also, i may want to find another player that is willing to play as my son, I will fund a fully outfitted Sabre, *no codes* PM me if you want to play along
A lot of it seems rushed, the storyline is good, but it lack detail.
For example "A beautiful woman was on board"
You could expand things like that rather easily (hair, uniform, details of the cockpit etc.) , or the ship details, or how Gneisenau looks just to make the scene easier to picure.
Ingame you were very good however, although a bit comical in your cannibalism. Rather than it being shocking, gruesome, disgusting, terrifying, it was really funny!
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