I know it has been a while, since I wrote to you. But ever since the war with Liberty has begun, you know how difficult it is to get ~anything~ across between the two nations. Even if it is just a simple message.
How is life treating you in Liberty? Did you settle in after the move well? Have you found work to support yourself? Or have you even met a man?
I still remember when we graduated and you were speaking of moving to Liberty. Back then, I know I thought it was not a good idea as you would likely not ever be able to return again, at least, as long as this idiotic war rages. But I suppose yours ~was~ the better choice.. you likely wonder why..
You surely remember how I said back then that I believed that a war was coming, yes? As you know it has come and neither of us can cross the border any longer. I even had to send this message via a border world courier, I hope it reaches you..
Anyways, now the war did arrive and that is the last thing Rheinland needs. As the situation tensed before the war I watched and felt unable to do anything, I felt helpless. Rheinland was about to make a mistake and not one on the government appeared to see it. Instead they were already planning on how to best invade liberty, oh goodness, they were so blind, could they not see that a war would do neither Rheinland, nor its innocent people any good? I suppose the answer is obvious.. what is the Kanzler thinking?
As the situation escalated more and more, I thought if anyone would have a chance to literally disarm the situation, it was the military. Yes, you heard right, I did join the military.
I know! I can neither fly a space ship, nor am I any good at fighting, but I am going to learn it if that means that Rheinland might not go to war with liberty.
You probably think that I am foolish and that a single person will not make a difference and you might be right. It is likely I cannot change anything, it is likely I wont even be noticed. But I do not want to sit around and do nothing while our home, where were we grew up, collapses into ruin because of a few blind beaurocrats. They might discharge me anyways because of my lack of fighting prowess but at least then I have tried..
I hope life treats you well in Liberty, Anne and that my letter reaches you. The border world courier I am sending it with is reliable but we both know how dangerous these regions are. For now I better see to that patrol I am due, I shouldnt be late.
Have a wonderful day and please take care of yourself.
I would love to hear from you soon!
Sandra
Sandra went on a regular sector patrol in New Berlin that day, a patrol she would never return from
She had just exited the trade line leading towards Bonn station when a group of Rheinland Military crafts approached her.
Halt! In the name of the Kanzler. A harsh male voice echoed from the speaker.
Roger, engines are offline. Sandra confirmed as she deactivated her crafts propulsion system. Private Sommer here. Is something wrong? She then responded.
The four military Valkyries came closer menacingly and the same male spoke. Private Sommer, you are under arrest, you will come with us now, we will escort you to Battleship Strausberg.
Under arrest?! Sandra was shocked. Why? What.. what happened? What have I done? She asked shakily.
Do not resist, we are authorized to use force if necessary. The male voice responded and the other three Valkyries surrounded Sandra.
Wait! Wait.. um.. Protocol states that in order to arrest someone there has to be a charge and I am authorised to ask for that charge! She called to the men but was met with silence.
Only after a minute she received a response. The charges against you include but are not limited to slander of authorities, failure to adher to the code of conduct of the military and treason.
What?! Sandras hands began to shake. Treason alone would get her a court marshal and who knows what else! What had she done? She didnt understand, she-
Alright. The male voice spoke. Open fire, disable the craft.
Only split seconds later, Sandras craft shook violently, its shields failed with the first attack. They protected well against the enemies of Rheinland but not against their own. Shocked and distraught, Sandra turned hard and tried to activate cruise engines but was constantly disrupted. The Rheinland military knew what it was doing.
Hold your fire! Sandra called. Please, explain to me, I am one of your own, I have no interest in conflict with you!
If you have not interest in conflict, deactivate your engines, or we will do it for you. The male voice replied. I am not at liberty to share the exact nature of the charges brought against you.
Sandra had evaded their fire, but her craft was damaged. Her shields had failed and one of her engines was trailing smoke. Her hands shook so much that it was visible in her flight path, but the Rheinland military was adamant. For the moment they had ceased their fire and Sandra thought hard..
She had done no wrong, she had not committed treason, nor had she violated the military code of conduct. What was going on here? She did not understand, something was wrong here..
Well? The Rheinland military man spoke once again.
I have joined the military because I respected it.. I alw- *static* believed in it..*static* .. ut that belief was shattered today, when you opened fire at one of your own for no other reason than charges that you are not even willing to justify to one of your own. Hang on, my comm. Is malf- *static* Sandras voice echoed through the speaker.
Private Sommer, you know the procedure. With your crimes you are facing a court marshal at best and are not one of our own any longer. In the eyes of the law you are a criminal now and are to be treated as such. That we ceased fire to speak with you already is gesture of goodwill, one we will not repeat if you do not comply this time. Think of your obligations, you may have violated military code of conduct once, there is no need to do so again. The male voice replied.
There was silence for a while. Sandra knew her career was over and with that any chance of perhaps helping to end the needless war with Liberty. She knew if she complied now, she would be taken into custody and spend the better part of her life in a Rheinland prison colony. She looked at her damage report for a moment, then Sandras malfunctioning comm opened. No.. I do not know what the military is doing, or even what Rheinland is doing any longer. But I do know what I was and am doing and I have not done wrong. She activated her engines, her computer warned her as to the four target locks on her vessel. The warning sound could be heard over the comm. But that doesnt matter any longer I suppose.. as you have said yourself.. I am not one of you any longer.. And with that, Sandra tried to outrun her pursuers towards the asteroid field of the Dresden jumphole.
Boys? Get her. With the words a rain of deadly greenish fire rained down on Sandras vessel, it took severe hits and pieces of broken armor were torn of the vessel. Sandra knew that she would not last long if she did not reach the asteroid field soon. It was amazing how long a few clicks can be sometimes for Sandra they seemed an eternity.
She is about to enter the asteroid field, we will loose her if we cannot stop her! The Rheinland military voice yelled.
Between evasive maneuvers, Sandra had reached the asteroid field but just as she entered, her craft shook and instruments in her cockpit exploded warning bells ringing. Smoke filled her cabin slowly as Sandras craft drifted into the asteroid field, her left engine on fire, spewing flames.
We got her. Finally. The man said. Send a message to Bonn station, we need a salvage unit. Oh, and contact Kaiserslautern station just to be sure. He rubbed his hands. Man, she put up quite a struggle. And shook his head.
In the meanwhile, Sandra came to herself again, her craft adrift and she herself bleeding from a wound at her forehead. Warning bells were still ringing but more quietly and the smoke had cleared a little. She examined herself and found that she was still alive and well.. apart from a powerful headache, of course. As she checked a devastating damage report, the display had exploded and she had to load it on another: Shielding had failed, targeting systems were offline, sensors had taken a hit and her computer core was fried. Her left engine had exploded under the heavy fire and there was fuel leaking from both wings.
Miraculously, the cruise engine system was still operational.. but without computer core and only one engine it was doubtful she could activate it.
But at least she was safe for now.. or so it appeared
For now, she needed to flee, the military was probably looking for already. Activating her right engine, she noticed it was still set to cruise but lacked energy. If she was right, the engine would do for one last cruise, maybe it would bring her to the Dresden jumpgate. Hopefully the military hadnt locked it yet..
As the cruise engine charged Sandra hoped she would make out of the asteroid field.. without shields a collision would be lethal and ever since her left engine exploded her craft had become slow and hard to handle.
Finally the trade line came into view but with it.. two members of the Red Hessian Army, headed directly towards Sandras damaged craft. At that moment, she thought it was over.
But instead of firing upon her, the two foreign craft simply approached and chatted idly. One of them seemed to have a liking for cookies.
(munching) Vat iz zis? One voice spoke.
Hmm looks like a Rheinland military ship, low on hull. The other spoke.
They are everywh- *static* .. I must flee! Sandra spoke ad tried to maneuver her craft but it was difficult.
Vait, who iz everywhere?
The military.. they *static* after me..
Vhy iz ze military after you? Are you not one of zhem?
Yes, I am but *static* fire upon me and almost *static* -illed me, I have no id- *static* happened, I dont understand..
Hmm, vhat do you zhink? (munching) The other voice spoke.
We should help her, if we leave here, the Rheinland military will come and- He was interrupted.
Come for whom, Red Hessian? A military ship addressed them. Ah, you have found our fugitive for us. Excellent, thank you. I knew the Red Hessians had a sense of justice somewhere deep down inside. The voice chuckled.
Zhis woman is under our protection now. Leave now or you will regret it. One of the Hessians replied.
Do not interfere with military operations, you are doing enough harm to innocent Rheinlanders already. The military replied.
We? Harming ze innozent? One of the Red Hessians spoke. Look what you did to your own! He countered.
She is not innocent, she is a criminal and is to be brought to justice. Came the reply from the military.
A criminal, vell, vell. What has she done, military? The Red Hessians responded.
I am not at liberty to discuss that with you. Private Sommer knows what she has done. The military crafts were closing in.
That is no- *static* true. I have not *static* wrong! Sandra desperately tried to make her case.
Vait, vhy are zey after you zen? Something iz not right here. One of the Red Hessians was cautious.
Indeed, now stand aside and let us do our job. There is no need for bloodshed here. The military ships were closing in further.
I dont *static now, I have no idea! I am telling you! She was pleading.
Vell, you will not take her wiz you, military, she iz under our protection now. The Red Hessians positioned themselves near Sandras damaged craft.
The military spoke annoyed. With the Hessians now, are we? It appears we were right in doubting you. Do not make your situation worse and come with us now and answer for your crimes.
Sandra was still confused, until now she had no idea what was wrong or why they were after her but slowly it dawned on her the letter.
I have not committed any crim- *static* unless speaking my mi- *static* about the political situation is viewed as one. Sandras comm. unit was failing.
You are chasing her for voicing herself? The Red Hessians spoke. Typical, still the fanatical zealots we know you!
At that moment private communications opened and one of the Red Hessians spoke. I have uploaded coordinates in Dresden. Make for zhe jumphole and wait for us zhere, we will make sure zhey dont follow you.
Sandra replied over private communications. But why are *static* helping me? You are the Red Hessian army, aren *static* suppose to shoot me?
Another reply came. We are not quite az bad as ze military wants people to zhink we are. Now go you will be zafe at ze coordinates, you have my word.
With that Sandra turned her vessel and made for the jumphole as fast as her damaged craft could.
The Red Hessians were experienced pilots and the military were only two crafts one of them a fresh recruit. They could not risk loosing another one to them. There is nowhere to run or to hide. You know that we will find you. The military spoke as they slowly exited scanner range.
The jump to Dresden went smoothly and Sandra found herself in a dense nebula, the shadow of what appeared to be a large asteroid fading into view.
Rheinland craft, we have been expecting you, hold position near dock one for a scan. The base contacted Sandra.
Um.. Roger, hol- *static* position now. In that moment the other two Red Hessians approached.
Vell, zhat went vell. He spoke.
Scan complete, you are clear to dock. The base responded.
Ja, it would be best to have your craft seen to, miss. Both positioned themselves to guard her approach. Oh and velcome to Vogtland base. With that Sandras craft was docking.
Johannes Claus had arranged quarters on Vogtland base for Sandra. After she had landed the craft in the hangar and climbed out of the cockpit, she was greeted by a group of what appeared to be Red Hessian personnel. While Sandra climbed down from the damaged Valkyrie, the hangar crew seemed to see to the craft immediately. She could hear coughing from the smoke the engines still trailed but as she glanced towards them, her attention was asked by the personnel before her.
Frau Sandra? One of them spoke.
Yes? Sandra was still shaken and confused.
Willkommen, on Vogtland base, we have been expecting you. Herr Claus has asked to have quarters ready for you, I am sure you would like some time for yourself after what happened to you.
I.. suppose. Sandra found herself agreeing.
If you would follow us, the quarters are this way. With that they walked off.
Sandra noticed that the personnel was armed. Perhaps standard procedure but perhaps they had their doubts about her, which would be unsurprising. As they reached her quarters, Sandra entered the room and looked around. For a pirate base in a dangerous nebula it looked comfortable and almost cosy.
Herren, I thank you. Sandra turned around and addressed the personnel.
Try to rest and recover a bit, frau Sandra. You had a rough day. If there is anything you need, feel free to let the two gentlemen here know, they will remain outside.
Sandra nodded and the men went outside, the door closing behind them. For now, Sandra was safe but where was she?
Earlier this day, she was still a Flieger in the military, a proper citizen of Rheinland. And now.. she was at a pirate base in a hidden nebula among people she was taught many bad things about.. things that apparently were wrong. Instead of killing her in cold blood, the Red Hessians protected her and offered her shelter from the military who did attempt to murder her. Were the Hessians maybe not as bad as the military wanted people to think they were? And what about the military? Was she an exception? Or did they pull things like that on a regular basis. What of her future? She was now a criminal in Rheinland and the only place she would be safe was here.. or maybe liberty, if she could make it through the dangerous borderworlds.
There were so many questions.. and so few answers right now.
She went to the bathroom to refresh herself and tend to the wound at her head. It was only a minor scratch and quickly seen to. In that moment, she remembered the letter she wrote to that friend of hers. For a moment, Sandra wished she had come with her to liberty.. or that somehow she could .. undo all that what happened. She looked at a small piece of cloth, traces of dried blood on it. The wound was quickly seen to, something that unfortunately wasnt true for her current situation
Johannes wondered what this new pilot would bring to the Red Hessians. He had no idea what to expect for her, merely that the Military wanted to kill her. He even had arranged a special, higher-class room aboard the Vogtland for her. Was he losing his mind?
"Leutnant Claus to Vogtland Base. Permission to dock."
"Request granted, welcome back Johan."
It seems things had gone alright since their last encounted just a short time ago. She hadn't caused any trouble on the base while he was out on standard patrols, nor had she caused any ruckus that would have required him to awake from his slumber on Freital before his return to the Vogtland. Time to look forward into the future, and see what this Sandra was made of. His ship gently drifted onto the landing pad of Hangar 17 as these thoughts, and many others, went through his brain scattering his thoughts.
"Wilkommen back herr Claus! I will attend to your ship immediately, appears the radiation nearly ate off your left engine!"
"Ja, gut mein herr. I vill see you in a short time before my next patrol.
He moved silently, almost stalking through the base. The last transmission he received was of a certain meeting in a resturaunt with this Sandra. He was still getting over the fact that he found her attractive, and that this would be the first time he saw her outside of a visual comm signal. He went back to his room, dressed down in standard fatigues shedding the flight-suit he had worn beforehand. He approached the resturaunt and saw her sitting by a window. He sighed, a moment of slight infatuation with her, but quickly shook it off before heading over to the table. He would not let his feelings get the better of him, and he would keep it strictly business until the opportunity arose... or didn't.
"Herr Claus, I presume?"
"Ja, it ist me Sandra."
With that, their conversation began. He took a seat at the table.
After a good nights rest and time to think, Sandra thought she had an idea about why the military was after her and she felt her saviors had a right to know. She had sent a communication towards one of the Red Hessians that saved her from the military and asked for a meeting in Vogtland base's restraunt.
She had seated herself near a window from where the yellow nebula was visible. It still amazed her that she was still alive and now even safe too at least for the moment. Lost in thoughtful contemplation, she did not realise Lt. Claus approaching. They introduced and greeted before he sat down at the table and conversation began.
"I believe.. I have an idea of why the military was after me by now." Sandra slid a pad across the table, it showed the letter she had sent.
Lt. Claus read the letter before nodding and sliding back the pad. "Very typical for ze Kanzler. Quieting all opposition even if zat means oppressing ze innocent people of our vaterland."
"I sent this letter to a highschool friend of mine via borderworld courier. The courier was reliable but somehow the letter must have found its way to the Rheinland military and not to Liberty where it should have been delivered." Sandra explained. "I suppose that would explain a few things... but it came as a shock to me, I never expected Rheinland's government to be so.. ruthless and oppressive. From what I was taught at the military it were groups like the Red Hessians that were the scourge of Rheinland, being responsible for everybody's misery. But obviously, the Red Hessians are not all that bad.. it were not you who wanted to murder me in cold blood afterall."
"Ze Kanzler cares little about what is true and what is a lie as long as it serves his goals, mein dear. Ze military are merely Kanzler's fanatical arm that holds all of Rheinland in his greedy and oppressive grasp." Lt. Claus responded to Sandra.
"I suppose, I have seen first hand of what is true and what is not.." Sandra was still a little shaken from the recent events. "It almost appears that it was the Kanzler and his military who are the scourage of Rheinland and not the Red Hessians."
"Ja." Lt. Claus nodded. "Zat is true. Ze armee der roten Hessen does not fight because it wants to, it fights because it has to, for ze people of our vaterland, for zose who cannot fight ze Kanzler's oppression zemselves. We do not want to harm ze people we want to help zem, as we have shown you."
Sandra thought over that a moment. It still was a shock for her that all that she learned and knew over time had been so false. Lt. Claus studied the woman and then asked.
"Vell, what do you intend to do now?"
"I.. I honestly don't know. " A thoughtful Sandra replied. "There is obviously no going back to Rheinland as I am seen as a criminal there now and.. the borderworlds are a dangerous place. If I went there.. on my own, I would sooner find myself killed, or.. or worse. Fleeing into them is not an option."
"Yes, zat sounds about right." Lt. Claus responded and idly lit a cigarette. "You could also remain here wiz ze Red Hessians." He said but then added. "At least until you have decided what to do. It should not be a problem to have you remain here a little while longer."
"But eventually.. I would have to leave, correct?" Sandra asked.
"Correct." Lt. Claus replied, although he hoped that she would stay. Another recruit for the Red Hessians was always a good thing.
"I did consider it.. " Sandra said. "As it stands there appear to be only two options.. one is trying to reach liberty through the borderworlds and the other.. is remaining here." Sandra's gaze wandered outside the window.
"Ja, zat seems to be ze case." Lt. Claus nodded and followed Sandra's gaze. He couldn't help but wonder what she was looking at.
After a moment of contemplation Sandra asked. "Well, will it be a life long commitment?" her gaze wandered back to him. "If I chose to remain here for now, with the Red Hessians, could I leave again if I so desired? Provided of course I leave any property and valueable information here."
"Ja, you could frau Sommer." Lt. Claus was studying the woman intently. He still wasn't sure if she was sincere, it all seemed too good to be true. But as it appeared there was no falsity to be found with her. Something that relieved him greatly.
"I am glad to hear that, and it relieves to too. I had not thought the Red Hessians would force me to remain or do something against my will as that would put them on the level of those they oppose." Sandra was relieved to hear that.
"Take your time frau Sommer. For now zere is no need to rush." He knew that she still had to digest the atack on her by her own people.
"Well... if I can leave at any time I wish to.. and since I don't know what the life in liberty is like.. I suppose.. I would have to choose which to explore first and since I am here already.. I think.. I will remain here and contribute." Sandra spoke while Lt. Claus studied her further. He got the distinct impression she wastruly not a born fighter pilot or one for the military but a thinker instead.
"Besides,.. " Sandra continued. "I think.. I owe you guys."
Johan thought for a moment. He thought that he could trust this one, as she was still slightly indoctrinated by the Military. He had debriefed her partially on the events of the past few days, and now it was time to initiate her into his plan. His plan to end at least some bloodshed. It was time to tell her that he was a double-agent... working with the MND. His voice lowered to barely a whisper as he leaned toward her.
"Sandra. I have something that I have to tell you. I have been working to try and end some of the bloodshed with the MND.
He paused, she had only been a low-ranking Fleiger in the Military. She most likely was ill-informed of Rheinland's equivalent to Liberty's LSF.
"The MND is the Marinenachtrichtendienst. It is an organization that... does its best to help Rheinland. I am working as a double-agent with the MND inside the Red Hessian organization. Why I am telling you this, I do not know. I feel that we can help Rheinland end this bloodshed by working on the highlights of both sides.. at least that is my own hope."
She nodded, albeit slowly. She also lowered the volume of her voice
"Mein herr... I do not know how I can be of assistance to you at this time.
Johan nodded back to her and continued onto a different subject. A ship.
"Well I believe it may be time to get you a ship. Follow me."
With that he stood up and motioned for her to follow him to the hangar bay. He headed toward Hangar 17, intent on explaining what they were going to do on the way there.
As they walked through the hangar bay, Sandra could see various craft, all of which were unknown to her.
"Are you familiar wiz hessian craft?" Lt. Claus asked looking over to the considerably smaller woman. It truly was odd the military hadn't fired her if she was not even that skilled with one of those fighter craft. With her appearance she even appeared a bit out of place in such a cockpit.
"No, herr Claus, I don't think I ever have seen one actually. I was to patrol only the safest areas in New Berlin, where the Red Hessians held little interest." She responded as they came to a halt in front of two fighter craft.
Lt. Claus motioned to the smaller one. "Vell, now iz your chance to see one. I present you the Loki, our light fighter." And he watched her as Sandra studied the ship. "A sexy ship wouldn't you say?" he grinned.
After a moment Sandra looked over. "Although it looks a bit aggressive it.. does have a certain beauty to it." She agreed. The ship was beautiful in its own aggrssive way. And yet it was delicate and slender. Something Sandra found befitting.
"While ze loki is a good ship and choice, we still have one ozer craft to offer, one which I personally prefer." Lt. Claus motioned over to the other craft. "Ze mighty Odin is ze work horse of the Volksrevolution. Feel free to study it."
As Sandra studied the much more powerful and larger Odin Lt. Claus asked. "What do you zink?"
"It is larger, more strongly built.. but it is also majestic and powerful in a graceful way." She replied.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Lt. Claus admired the Odin for a moment.
Sandra saw that he was lost in thought and waited a bit not to be inconsiderate but eventually she cautiously asked. "Would you have a recommendation for me?"
"Ah, in truth I don't, frau Sommer." He looked over. "I have never flown a loki, but if I HAD to give a recommendation, I zink ze Loki would suit you better, it somehow seems befitting for you, I don't know."
Sandra listened and nodded. She had a hard time to decide herself but she found herself aggreeing with Lt. Claus. The loki did seem to suit her better, she could feel it.
"I suppose.." She said. "I will eventually have to try both but.. for now I think I will decide for the Loki." And smiled a bit.
"Excellent, lets get your craft equipped zen." He motioned to one of the neural net panels. "Feel free to make use of zose, I noticed you seem to be at home wiz panels and studying rather zan in a fighter cockpit."
"That.. might be true, herr Claus." Sandra agreed. "I never stood out with my skill during my time in the military and I still don't think I do.." She worked on a bit of basic equipment for her craft as she spoke. "But as I said I can only offer what I have, I do not know if it is enough but I can only offer it honestly non the less."
"Ja." He spoke. "Zat is true and it is appreciated." With that Sandra finished the set up and it was time for a first flight..
After a first few days of piloting her Loki, Sandra had changed her quarters to Offenbach outpost as it was more convenient for her. She still liked to return to Northeim base however, sometimes even Vogtland. In a strange way, these three bases were now where she felt at home most. At first she thought that was something to be glad about but on second thought, she was not so sure about that.
Right now, she was sitting in her room and writing on what appears to be her personal log...
Omega 54 is not a bad system, I have actually come to like it a little. But I suppose the same is true for the Red Hessian Army. It is hard to believe I warmed up to them so quickly, considering I spent the majority of my time in the military hunting them.. but from what it seems they do have a point, I think. If even parts of the corporate traders sympathize with our cause there must be a point to the things the Hessians say about the Kanzler.. and then there is the war with liberty. I do not know any details, but I think war hardly is the solution to whatever is wrong in the relations with liberty.
Then again, the Hessians wage war with Rheinland though with the difference that they do not want to harm the people but instead help them. What they do want to harm is the Kanzler's regime, they want to overthrow it. Though I suppose they would rather if the Kanzler realised the mistakes he made and changed. I am certain then the Hessians would simply lay down their arms as there would not be reason to fight any longer. But for that to happen the current Goverment of Rheinland would have to come a long way... as... I still remember first hand.
On that note, I wonder what the military thinks of me and if they are still after me. Does truly noone realise what they were ordered to do? I would have trouble to believe it had I not seen and felt it with my own eyes and hands. And that leads me to wonder if that point of the hessians having no reason to fight will ever arrive..
Regardless, I should go to bed. There is a lot more to learn and understand but that is only possible with a waking mind.
Another bloody day survived, Johannes thought. Too many lives lost... too many. The fact that he was one of the fortunate ones to get away from that battle unscathed was almost too perfect. It was as though Gott himself had protected him through the fight. His men were killed, his comrades destroyed, his friends.. massacred.. in what? A rescue attempt? He sighed. Opening up his personal logs.
"Log entry... February 7th. Year, well.. you know. Another day on this cold base, I just thank Gott it's not an asteroid. Offenbauch has a few less ammenities than my station on the Vogtland, but it's much more cozy for some reason. Perhaps I should put in for a transfer. Well, on another note. Two words: Bloody Bremen. I'll never again know why I fight anymore. Is it truly for freedom? Is this blood we shed going to be worth it all in the end? Is it? I don't know anymore and the only thing that kept me going through that battle.. the only thing was the thoughts that maybe one day we could be reunited. It seems the death I wish to be granted to be with you again my lover will not come. I hope you forgive me if I choose to seek another, i'm sure you would understand. I cannot believe it has been seven years since your death. Seven. Cold. Long. Bloody. Years. Adrianna... your name still tastes like sugar on my lips each time I say it. Why did you have to die and leave me alone? Why did they kill you and our daughters? Our twin girls.. they were so innocent. Seven years since I have felt what it means to be human. Seven years since I lost my morality. Seven years... since I lost my soul.
I feel as though I am getting it back, you'll be glad to know. I keep your smile in my memory, even in the darkest times I think of it. There's a new woman who kind of reminds me of you, always looking at the bright side of things. One that hasn't lost her innocence yet.. and I will not let the Hessians take it from her. Sandra Sommer is her name. She's been graceful so far with the Red Hessians, but I fear that they may one day strip from her what was stolen from me on that fateful day Seven years ago. Maybe I shall find it again with her, maybe she will, in her own way, become my savior.
I won't let the Hessians corrupt her, and as such I have been weary about sharing with her all the travesties that have been done by not only the Hessians but myself as well. Adrianna you taught me how to love, you taught me that I was worth something. I am rekindling that fire now, I am seeing again after all these years that I have a purpose. For what I do not know.. I only know that this.. woman.. this Sandra, has something to do with it."
Johann lit a cigarette, closing the log entry panel and sat back in his chair. He wondered what would become of him. How much more blood could he take? How many more lives had to be snuffed out before this bloody Revolution would come to an end? Only time would tell now. He only hoped to preserve his humanity. There was a little good left in him, and he would never let it be stolen from him.
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