My first real attempt at forum roleplay.

[Pinko]

I know, it's short, and probably full of grammar mistakes, but I'm french, and I wanted to give it a try.

Every single constructive criticism will gladly be accepted, as it is the only way I may improve.

http://discoverygc.com/forums/index.php?ac...t=0#entry732533

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I want to get off Mr. Igiss' wild ride.

[RonG777]

I like it . . It is very well written and (I'm not a grammar freak), but it all seems good to me . .

Well done; looking forward to continue reading this story . . .

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--- " I might not be much help, but by God, I'm all the help you got" ---

EFFIN' ROLEPLAY GUYS ... off to flood we go for that - Hoodlum

[kingvaillant]

seems good as for grammar don't ask me heeh, I wish you more success than myself... quite hard to RP a cold blooded and nearly emotionless LSF director

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Director of the Liberty Security Force: Fidelity, Bravery and Integrity

The Amundsen Zone-21 Restrictions

[Marburg]

For a 1st attempt, it's pretty dang good:cool:

I won't criticize the actual content, cause everybody's a critic already, but the more you do it, be easier it will be to write.

Now...I really like that it's short. IMHO, a string of short posts describing one scene is better than having to endure one long wall of text.

I hope you get into it & start to write more...Lots of people see forum RP < server RP but personally, I think the're about equal.

(actually, sometimes I think that forum RP trumps server RP, cause there are almost no limits to what you can do with your characters, but on the server, there are only so many things a serverload of people can do from the cockpit of a spaceship before it seems a dime a dozen.)

Keep it up:)

::edit- sorry...I had a good sized brain-fart & thought I posted in the feedback thread:$could one of the staph be so kind as to move my comments to the proper spot?::

'Burgy, you owe me a skype call for this. In fact, that's 2 now. What ever are we going to do with you?

<3 Mwerte

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[Pinko]

Dab wins this award:



Thanks for correcting me suky English. =P

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I want to get off Mr. Igiss' wild ride.

[obnoxious1]

I actually liked the story & was well done. Very good job for first attempt:)

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Outcast Laws Outcast Reference Outcast Registry SOB / BLS Recruiting

[Exsiled_one]

Hey awesome story, let us know how do they pass trough 41!

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<span style="color:#33CC00">I AM GIVING AWAY MONEY TO CREATIVE MINDS*</span>

[MB52]

Its a good read, a few minor (and I mean very minor) grammar issues. Your writing style is pretty good, plenty of good descriptions and dialogue.

I say when you do get the chance keep writing, its good.

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I’ll carry this flag
To the grave if I must
Because it’s flag that I love
And a flag that I trust