Descent into Madness feedback

[stardust47]

http://discoverygc.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=57993

This story will be updated regurlarly and finished when I deem neccesary.
I have absolutely no idea where this will go, but I can gaurantee awesome.

Pointless fact: The Maria from the nightmare is supposed to look like the girl from the cover of the Dragonforce album 'Ultra Beatdown'.

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[stardust47]

MOAR FACTS!
The 'Monster' is the Nihilanth from Half-Life.
The thing about the storm being over is from 6 of 3 of The Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy.
Also, slight bump.

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[Akura]

Question, is any of your RP... not imported?


Other than that, your part 1 and part 2 are really short, I'd personally extend them, and cut the total number of parts down by alot.

[stardust47]

Part 4 added.

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[Mounteblanc]

I must concur with Akura, the Valve obsession becomes bothersome when you try to incorporate everything from it into your RP.

I fail to see the reason as to why any of this is happening. Not only does the story have no coherent plot line, but it also has no visible driving force.

And, seriously, the BFG?

[stardust47]

Smoothing things out and adding the next part.

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[stardust47]

Part 5 finished.
I have no idea how it's going to end, but the Maria/Reina love story is going to be long-term.

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[Mounteblanc]

The random lesbian sex was unneeded. Ahem.

And it's nice to see that you're paying attention to the feedback.

Edit@Akura: I sense transsexuals. Watsas-Vision can't find those.

[Akura]

I'm surprised Watsas didn't sense that...

[stardust47]

Part 7 will explain a bit. The lesbian sex?
Lez>Straight.

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