Well, ladies and gentlemen, it appears that things need cleaning once again.
Interestingly enough, I'm The Janitor, but I like to outsource to responsible individuals on the occasion when a mess is too big for me to handle. I can't do this all on my own, no, I know I'm no superman.
On this occasion, "responsible" means anyone with a gun and a generic Mercenary or Freelancer card, because the mess we need to clean up happens to be some mercs that are running around Liberty, trashing the capital fleets. It's amusing, but it's creating a really big mess for me to clean up. Each Dreadnought is a few thousand metric tons of scrap - and that's a lot of work for me! The easiest way to clean that sort of mess up is to make sure it doesn't happen in the first place. I need your help with this though, because it's still a damn big job.
Fortunately, I make more than you do. Quite a bit more.
I'm as rich as frak, so I can pay you a lot of money to do this sort of thing for me.
I'll make this short and simple, folks. Liberty needs cleaning, and there's nobody better to clean it than people who can clean it up nicely. Isn't that right?
[color=#3333FF]Clean Up On Aisle 1:
Clean anyone in Liberty with a Mercenary or Freelancer ID card, especially ones that have destroyed Liberty Navy capital ships in the past!
Who Gets the Mop:
ANY Freelancers or Mercenaries can apply for paychecks.
What's In It For Me?
Different messes gain different payments! 3,000,000 Credits for Fighters
5,000,000 Credits for Bombers
10,000,000 Credits for Gunships
10,000,000 Credits for Pirate Transports
+3,000,000 Credits if it's a Mercenary or Freelancer who's taken Callahan's bounties.
(You'll need to offer proof of this.)
(Note that I'm not paying you to take out every Freelancer transport.)
It's a Kodiak Moment!
You need at least three pictures to get your paycheck. 1. The Target's ID
2. You cleaning the Target up (with a timestamp, please!)
3. Your credentials
I'll keep paying until the mess is clean up.
It's as simple as that!
Let's get to work.
Mops and Bleach are sold on Barrier Gate or Liberty Guard Stations.
P.S. This bounty isn't active anymore!
I decided to take the money, hire Agiera, and retire in an alternate dimension.
Ciao, baby!
[font=Impact][color=#FFFFFF]-=END TRANSMISSION=-
' Wrote:I'm just a private citizen who decided it was time for a little community service.
I take out the trash so other people don't have to get their hands dirty.
Gee, that's nice of me.
-(Incoming Transmission -(••••• -(Reaver Mercenary Company -(Johnathan"Crimson"Wilder - Company Commander
Now uh, out of curiosity, why would my band of independent contractors be banned from this here board and why are you adding more of a bounty to our heads?
I mean, we're TRYING to work for the Liberty government but they're making it very, very difficult for us.
[color=#FFFFFF]You guys are a little reckless with your mops.
Nothing personal, but you have a tendency to make more messes than you clean.
Oh, and I don't think you ever filed a Janitorial Status Form 2B with ALG Dortmund.
Might want to get on that.
[font=Impact][color=#FFFFFF]-=END TRANSMISSION=-
' Wrote:I'm just a private citizen who decided it was time for a little community service.
I take out the trash so other people don't have to get their hands dirty.
Gee, that's nice of me.
Some of us freelancers are just unaffiliated traders. Freelancer =/= Merc, many of us are just unaffiliated with you big corporations and security forces.
"Things will not calm down, Daniel Jackson. They will, in fact, calm up."
Son, I have nothing to do with corporations.
I'm just an independent sanitation contractor with a work ethic.
There's papers for unaffiliated traders that are almost equivalent to your current ones anyway. Of course, if you need the difference, this cleaning fee applies to you too. You can't make things with eggs without breaking eggs.
[font=Impact][color=#FFFFFF]-=END TRANSMISSION=-
' Wrote:I'm just a private citizen who decided it was time for a little community service.
I take out the trash so other people don't have to get their hands dirty.
Gee, that's nice of me.
We have that in common then, I want nothing to do with big entities. I work for myself, an honest working man, like you. I'm unaffiliated, I have no allies. I hope to one day have my own shipping company, operating off of Freelancer ID-papers because we won't be able to afford to appeal to A.D.M.I.N. for our own ID-papers. Don't wanna get other papers, because we don't work for anyone else, no corporation or government, mining guild or zoner, holds sway over us, we just trade. Would you really try to clean that which is not dirty? Too much ammonia will kill, y'know.
"Things will not calm down, Daniel Jackson. They will, in fact, calm up."
[color=#FFFFFF]When you need to kill an infestation, you don't kill one bug at a time.
You lock the facility and fumigate it.
If you don't want to get fumigated, stay out.
[font=Impact][color=#FFFFFF]-=END TRANSMISSION=-
' Wrote:I'm just a private citizen who decided it was time for a little community service.
I take out the trash so other people don't have to get their hands dirty.
Gee, that's nice of me.
Hello Mr. Ominously wealthy Custodial Engineer. I am a mercenary. I am on good standing with the Republic of Liberty, having collected $27,840,000 credits in payment from them thus far in addition to $40,000,000 from corporations for the destruction of high profile criminals. I would like to apply to be recognized as a responsible mercenary.
Here are my current specifications:
1x self upgrading bio-neural computer core
1x remote operated Eagle civilian VHF
-Equipped for multi-role combat
Storage tanks and nozzles capable of dispensing 200 liters of bleach per second
4x medium range anti-personnel/fighter precision mop dispensers
My programming forbids me from hunting and attacking other mercenaries, however due to the fact that these ones are damaging my credibility, I have removed that part of my programming. Will you be requiring timestamps?
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