SCRA Communications Centre

[pieguy259]

INCOMING TRANSMISSION
COMM ID: Provost Marshal Col. Vicenta Gonzalez
LOCATION: Zvezdny Gorodok, Omega-52 System

So, it seems that some of our troublesome pilots have chosen to disobey number 45 on my previous list of things nobody is allowed to do in the Coalition. Therefore, it has fallen upon me to write this list of forty-five MORE things nobody is allowed to do. I am hoping, probably in vain, that it is the last.

46. I will not hunt the Krazniy Oktober.
47. The Order are treacherous worms who betrayed us in favour of the Corsairs, not "a cheeseburger with fries and a large shake".
48. I will not accuse every male Chinese officer of being Yue Fei.
49. No matter how girly they look.
50. I will not use the Resurgency to find out the results of the next Superbowl.
51. I will not use the Resurgency to give Aeon the finger.
52. I will not use the Resurgency to set myself up as a gypsy fortune teller.
53. I will not use the Resurgency to give my past self an item I acquired from my future self to give to my past self. It gives Doctor Xiaobei a headache.
54. I will just stay away from the Resurgency.
55. I will stop ordering pasta with "Partisan cheese".
56. The area around New Hangzhou is not called the "Capital Wasteland", and there are no "super mutants" there.
57. I will not search the Neural Net for nude pictures of my Provost Marshal.
58. Those photos were very clearly photoshopped; she doesn't have a mole there.
59. No, you may not come and double-check.
60. No matter which obscure Old Earth political movement said otherwise, Barack Obama was not a communist and thus CPW Obama is not a valid ship name.
61. I will not hum the theme from Back to the Future every time Doctor Xiaobei passes by.
62. I will not take the phrase "reds under the bed" literally.
63. The day a female officer begins menstruating is not a "red dawn".
64. When told to go to Omega-3, I will not pick up the nearest can of tuna.
65. The Coalition has a one-party government; there is no "Coalition Sex Party".
66. I will not attempt to found one.
67. I will not meow whenever I hear the name of our Premier. It wasn't funny the first five thousand times.
68. I will not challenge Vice Admiral Broch to a gym battle.
69. Sellsword filth though they are, the Reavers have never been known to rape people to death, eat their flesh and sew their skin into clothing.
70. In any order.
71. Despite commanding the Havana, General Alvarez’s name is El Coyote, not "Cuban Pete".
72. I will stop prefixing my Provost Marshal’s surname with "Speedy".
73. I will also stop leaving cheese near her office.
74. A recruit's callsign is supposed to reflect that he or she is part of the Militsiya. Appending F to the prefix is strictly forbidden.
75. When in Bretonia, I will refrain from sniggering every time I see a Gaian gunboat pass through a jump hole.
76. Yes, we all know what it looks like.
77. No matter how "groovy" the neutron star looks, Omega-41 is not to be used as a venue for raves.
78. We have no Commissar Fuklaw. Stop asking.
79. There has never been a Ministry of Truth employee by the name of "Winston Smith".
80. I will not propose marriage to an enemy I have been ordered to "engage". It gets old fast.
81. Should Comrade Thorvaldsson ever return, he will not be "Bjorn again".
82. Taking Vladimir Lenin's birthday off is acceptable; however, I will remember that he only has one birthday per year.
83. Successfully getting out of bed with a massive hangover is not a sufficient feat to be named a Hero of the Revolution.
84. Despite being miners, the Red Hessians do not appreciate the song "Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's Off To Work We Go".
85. Our glorious election victory in Ontario does not give us sufficient "diplomatic immunity" to go and moon the Liberty Navy outside Toronto Station.
86. An appropriate message to carve into the Hispania would be "long live the Coalition". "For a good time call (your number)" is not acceptable.
87. I will not ask the Volkhan why his ears are not pointed.
88. There is no such movie as "You Don't Mess With The Volkhan".
89. I will not film one.
90. I will not force my Provost Marshal to compile any more of these lists.

I'm serious this time. Don't push me.

Viva la Revolucion!

END TRANSMISSION

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PanGalactic Travel Company | PanGal Feedback | PanGal Recruitment

[ChillerMiller]

---Incomming Transmission---

Comm ID: Sayoko Kato
Rank: Lieutenant





I am loyal to the Volkhan!

All hail the Ikon of Ikons!

---End of Transmission---

[Jansen]

Incoming Transmission
Comm ID: Lieutenant Marcia Vargas
Location: Omega 52


I will be loyal to the Volkhan.


Transmission end...

---

[mtjsmith]

[font=agency fb]ID: [color=#FFFFFF]Captain Chun Ki Ling
Target: All SCRA Assets
Location: CPW-Xi'an, Omega-52
Encryption: Medium
Priority: Medium
Subject: Forever loyal.

Ling salutes the flag of the Coalition.

Ni Hao,

Sirs, Myself and the crew of the Xi'an remain forever loyal to the cause. The objectives may change, the leadership may change - but our iron will shall stay the same.

I am in the process of arranging fire missions to bring many heads to honour the Volkhan.

For the revolution!

Ling out.

---

[arvg]

[font=Garamond][color=#33CC00]To: SCRA HC
Comm. ID: Brigadier-General Ricardo Alvarez
Priority: Medium
Subject: TO HELL WITH THE VOLKHAN

---Communications Opened---

Comradas hear me!

The Volkhan is not who he claims to be, he is not loyal to the people! His betrayal of our Premier, hermanos, threatens to bring the whole Revolution crashing down into tyranny and fascism!

Si, as of this moment, I have taken control of the CPW-Jackal and have launched a raid upon TOR-ONE, to liberate our beloved Premier!

Those that are true to the cause, those that are loyal to the Revolution. JOIN US.

Those that oppose El Coyote, will fall!

Death to the VOLKHAN!

To our victory, mi comradas!
For the Revolucion, for Katz!

Alvarez out!

El Coyote

---Communications Terminated--

---

[Yuveraj Khan]

In my name, General Alvarez is to be redacted at once!

Hero no more, his counter-revolutionary lies, and his betrayal will not stand!

DESTROY THE CPW-JACKAL!



ALL HAIL THE VOLKHAN!

---

[mtjsmith]

[font=agency fb]ID: [color=#FFFFFF]Captain Chun Ki Ling
Target: All SCRA Assets
Location: CPW-Xi'an, Omega-52
Encryption: Medium
Priority: Medium
Subject: Well.. Now I'm not sure.

Ling salutes the flag of the Coalition.

Ni Hao,

Comrades, civil war is not what we need. I am loyal to the Coalition and whoever represents it's true values.

I have fought to save Katz's Premiership before. I shall do it again. The Xi'an stands beside the Jackal.

For the revolution!

Ling out.

---

[Pacific]

INCOMING TRANSMISSION
COMM ID: Major Petko.Dimitrov
LOCATION: CPW-Karchov
TARGET ID: All SCRA Assets

Civil war in these dark times when every one who we called friend has betrayed us not a wise step Premier.

Also your decision to redact Comrade Alvarez the thing that makes me Belive that mr Katz is Better as our premier then you. I have bleed nearly died for premier Alvin Katz and for Alvares. And I shall stand as one of them beside them once again.

The CPW-Karchov stands with Alvares and the Jackal.

Sirius Coalition Revolutionary Army
Революционна Армия на Коалицията във Сириус

END TRANSMISSION

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<3 Omicron <3

<3 Chuba<3

[aznremix416]

=====[color=#FF0000]INCOMING TRANSMISSION=====

**Receiving**
**Decrypting**
**Opening message**

ENCRYPTION: [color=#33FF33]Medium.
SOURCE: Omega 52 system.
Submitter: Major Sean Lee, Sirius Coalition Revolutionary Army
Recipient: Coalition High Command

Subject: The Conflict

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Comrades,

I do not trust this "new leader of ours" I have fought many times beside the General and have served under the Premier longer than I can remember.

The CPW Tianjin will stand by El Coyote. We are loyal to the Premier.


[font=Georgia]Major Sean Lee out.

[color=#FFFFFF]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

=====[color=#FF0000]TERMINATING TRANSMISSION=====

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Recipient of the Hispania Memorium, Golden Fourragere, Halo of Valor, Order of the Red Star, and the Hero of the Revolution

[Tomtomrawr]

*** INCOMING TRANSMISSION ***

[font=Agency FB][color=#000000]PRIORITY: [color=#FF9900]Low
ENCRYPTION: High
IDENTIFICATION: Commissar-Captain Robert Miller, "Lex Talionis"
SOURCE: Sevastopol Depot, Omega-52 system
SUBJECT: The Volkhan

[color=#FFFFFF]I'm afraid that you sound like a dictator. I'm not particularly fond of fascists in all honesty. Premier Katz has been nothing but good to this cause. We should extend our open arms to the people who will embrace a friendship with the Coalition, not load the gun and stand them up against the bulkhead.

I will stand by my Premier, General Alvarez and all my other comrades in fighting this new oppressor. Approach Sevastopol without my authorisation and the Shanghai will be destroyed and you will achieve nothing but

Lex Talionis supports El Coyote. For the Premier, comrades!

---

[17:45:39] Wolfs Ghost (Murphy): Tom, you have problems. Go kill yourself.
[19:25:12] Johnny (Jam): Tomtom, I will beat you with a spoon.
[14:22:56] Prarabdh Thakur: KILL HIM WITH A SHEEP.
[17:40:48] Eagle (Junes): Tom should be slapped with a spoon.
[11:32:18] Warspite: Thank you for being so awesome Tom. &lt;3
[18:17:36] Metano: I love you tomtom
[20:06:24] Warspite: I will seriously give you epic head.

Edit: also, Tomtomrawr, fappin' like a boss.