[Feedback thread] The Construction of Jonathan Kalh's Osiris

[Kalhmera]

Still new to the RP story writing and i have had help!

Special shout out to @Spook for correcting my grammar errors and spelling.

Leave suggestions about my RP all criticism is welcome so long as its constructive please.

Find the Story here!

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Just as the constant increase of entropy is the basic law of the universe, so it is the basic law of life to struggle against entropy. - V. Havel

Amenhotep SRP Thread | Amenhotep Captains Log | Jean Holiday Dossier & Logs | Vermont History

[Kalhmera]

New paragraphs have been added.

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Just as the constant increase of entropy is the basic law of the universe, so it is the basic law of life to struggle against entropy. - V. Havel

Amenhotep SRP Thread | Amenhotep Captains Log | Jean Holiday Dossier & Logs | Vermont History

[Kalhmera]

Finished Chapter 1, Construction of the Osiris. Chapter two will consist of how i became assigned to command the Osiris. Third Post will consist of Jonathan Kalhs Biography from childhood to present day. Construction is heavy in this area.

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Just as the constant increase of entropy is the basic law of the universe, so it is the basic law of life to struggle against entropy. - V. Havel

Amenhotep SRP Thread | Amenhotep Captains Log | Jean Holiday Dossier & Logs | Vermont History

[Shaggy]

So Hi Kalh, I have read through your story and I have spoken to you on skype and gave you my feedback there. I hope it helps. Good luck!

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[Shizune]

Link

Because I can't seem to find the original feedback, let me make one thing clear to you Kalh, you have not come to me nor asked me about Milly. Milly is my char and no, you don't control her. I've already moved her a while ago before I took my break from discovery.

Next time, ask me before you use one of my chars

Edit: Now that I just read the logs Kalh, what in the actual hell? I never gave you my char and you've seemed to taking advantage of the entire situation including RPing as her. I'm sorry but I'm going to put my foot down on this one, Milly is my char, not yours.

[Kalhmera]

Milly is aboard my ship... I had to make a judgment call with you being gone and you deleting me on skype i RPed her being frozen in a pod on the Amenhotep... i agree i should not have spoken with her in RP, i will take that out of the Logs. I apologize for that. truly..

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Just as the constant increase of entropy is the basic law of the universe, so it is the basic law of life to struggle against entropy. - V. Havel

Amenhotep SRP Thread | Amenhotep Captains Log | Jean Holiday Dossier & Logs | Vermont History

[Shizune]

Its been resolved on skype and I have allowed Kalh to keep Milly in cryo onboard his ship till I return from my doctored ordered medical leave. I thank Kalh for quickly fixing the situation!

[Kalhmera]

Thank you shiz, i agree i made a bad call but im glad we where able to come to an agreement and quickly. Get well soon.

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Just as the constant increase of entropy is the basic law of the universe, so it is the basic law of life to struggle against entropy. - V. Havel

Amenhotep SRP Thread | Amenhotep Captains Log | Jean Holiday Dossier & Logs | Vermont History

[Kalhmera]

All RP post containing Milly Stones capture has been removed per Player and Admin request.

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Just as the constant increase of entropy is the basic law of the universe, so it is the basic law of life to struggle against entropy. - V. Havel

Amenhotep SRP Thread | Amenhotep Captains Log | Jean Holiday Dossier & Logs | Vermont History

[Kalhmera]

Proof of player acknowledging the changes and has accepted.

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Just as the constant increase of entropy is the basic law of the universe, so it is the basic law of life to struggle against entropy. - V. Havel

Amenhotep SRP Thread | Amenhotep Captains Log | Jean Holiday Dossier & Logs | Vermont History