To: Pepe "El Comisario" Ladron; From: BAF

[Thunderer]

Message Class: Textual
Encryption: Very High
To: Mighty Warlord Pepe Ladron, the Corsairs
From: Admiral Sir George Richard Hall, BAF

---

Very highly esteemed Mister Ladron,

Before yesterday I was hearing rumours that you had returned from whatever kept you so hectically busy, and that you were still as hairy and macho, but also that you had lost some weight and that your extravagant combat uniform was very loose because of that. Yesterday I had the chance to confirm them. But as I expected, you were not as macho as this irresistible tanned bloke:

Can you handle this macho?

He can certainly fix your uniform issue, and many other issues. Of course, provided the sufficient quantity. We have several thousand times that, even taking your needs into account, already in stock on Planet Cambridge.

It pleases me that you are sending your trainees to train against our professional soldiers in Omega-3, as I like success, but I prefer peace. It would be very useful for me if you stopped attacking our forces, and instead attacked the Mollies in Poole. We will send a load of what I have shown you with the next "freelancer" freighter carrying BIS agents to Cadiz, with your name on the mail. This is, of course, only in the condition that you accept my proposal. Should you deny it, I will open this channel to Captain Nicole Brennan with orders to annoy you. The channel is and will, however, stay closed to other Corsairs, so no one can witness your very forgivable satisfaction of your very refined taste, which you have every right for. I find it suitable that such a brave warrior as you is leading the Corsair assaults against Bretonia, and I would like you to keep your position.

I hope that this message reaches you in good health and your proverbially good appetite. I am looking forward to your reaction. Have in mind that Captain Brennan is, too.

Sir George R. Hall
Admiral
Bretonian Armed Forces

---

Open for Replies

---

Bretonian Treaty Database Bretonian Armed Forces Recruitment Center
Bretonian Charter of Interstellar Law Bretonian Secrets Act

[Pepe]

|><| |><| |><| ENCRYPTED PRIVATE FREQUENCY |><| |><| |><|



Pepe "El Comisario" Ladron at his home

Hola Senor Almirante!*waves with his beef sandwich*

We are quite well, thanks for asking. Good to know where you keep your cool helado. We will pick it up next time when we come for more cows. Yes... unfortunately my cow I stole from you and I named by you got old and fat. She stopped giving me milk.

Last picture of Georgina

Georgina Bonita

I see you are trying to distract me from what I really want on Sprague. And you know, everything (and everyone) that is not giving me what I really want - is good for sandwich.

*Pepe nods seriously and reaches OFF button with his hairy macho hand. Button cracks a bit*

|><| |><| |><| EMPTY SCREEN WITH MUCHO SNOW ON IT |><| |><| |><|

[Wesker]

Message Class: Textual
Encryption: Very High
To: Not so Mighty Warlord Pepe Ladron, the Corsairs
From: The extremely beautiful and seductive Captian Nicole Brennan, BAF

---

---

*music can be heard in the background as she begins to speak* Ladron,

As much as I enjoy saving Admiral Hall to improve both my Military record and to gloat about my superior commanding skills. Admiral Hall may be -astonishingly so- correct. I would prefer to shoot trained soldiers in Leeds as opposed to young machos stealing my cattle from planet Sprauge. I do very much value my cattle, I'm not Gallic, but cheese does mix with most of my meals here aboard the Enterprise. When I say young muchos by the way, I am both referring to your "brotherhood" and this joke of a group that calls themselves the "Custodi".

The Hessians would make better targets for your cannon fodder, I think that deranged bitch Anna Heinrich needs to be removed from office.

Nicole J. Brennan
Captian
Bretonian Armed Forces

---

Open for Replies

---

[Pepe]

|><| |><| |><| ENCRYPTED PRIVATE FREQUENCY |><| |><| |><|



Pepe "El Comisario" Ladron at his home

Caramba!*Jumps and drops a sandwich*

Are you really calling THAT "The extremely beautiful and seductive"? I see just one unhairy chick face and some bones below it. Even her tits can't agree how to line up. Are they artificial? Do you even have any hair on your chest? Is that the best you Bretonians have? No wonder you have no babies to take care of and rather flying ugly shrimp-like ships instead...

Look... wait... sorry if I offended you, but I have to teach you what REAL beauty is, caramba! Look at my beautiful sisters for example, both princesses. They are over 30 now and still virgins! I'd find some awesome husband for each one of them, if I'm just not so busy with you hairless skinny Bretonians!

El Comisarios beautiful sisters

According to "this joke of a group that calls themselves the "Custodi"", I might open this channel to them, as they like joking with Brets a lot.

*Pepe nods and reaches OFF button with his hairy macho hand. Button cracks a bit*

|><| |><| |><| EMPTY SCREEN WITH MUCHO SNOW ON IT |><| |><| |><|