To: Oban Station Administration

[Bretonia Rogue Ragers]

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NAME:Rab Rintoul
TO:Oban Station Administration
SUBJECT:Arite pal

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Arite mister big shot administrator! Whit's yer name, where did you come from and what's this big ass base daein' at Harris? Hae yer heard o' us before?

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Rab oot

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Info+Recruitment - - Message Dump - -Feedback - -Grudge Board

Scaglainne Oir Base

[Markam]

Message Class: Audio-Visual
Encryption: Drambuie
From: Fleet Admiral John Redmond

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Dear Sir or Sick stain,

I have been directed to this attempt at communication by the Administrators, appointed by the Admiralty, to the Modular Installation known locally as Oban Station, and known to you as Sod-off-and-mind-your-own-business Station, S.O.B Station for short.

When first reading this redirected communication, I had thought a Junior Officer had decided to prank me and "pigeoned" my monitor, as I mistook your pale featureless face for the rancid product you share with your near relatives on a frequent basis.

Please kindly gather your small collection of alcohol sodden wits to hold a conference in your rain swept hovel of a brain, and come to the obvious conclusion that you should steer clear of Planet Harris and anywhere beyond the rock formations you love so much and you no doubt have been concussed by on one too many, or one too few occasions.

If you do venture out near Planet Harris, I hope you prepared several new pairs of breeches, as you will be decorating your first and likely second pair with arse biscuits glaised in a golden dressing with enough alcohol content to kill an obese Corsair.

I do not blame you for being absolutely plastered most of the time, all things considered.

Tepid regards,

Fleet Bollocking Admiral John Bloody Redmond
Dreadnought Venerable, Oversector Get Lost
Bretonian Armed Forces

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Markam is evil

[Rab Rintoul]

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NAME:Rab Rintoul of Weurnormaltraders inc.
TO:Th' honorable gentleman John Redmond
SUBJECT:Arite pal

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Foremaist of all sur, ah wid like tae ask ye tae lea mah family oot of this - whit happens atween mah cousin Mackenzie and me is none of yer business.

Seicont - we ur bit humble freendly business men that wanted tae dae regular fowk business with said station!
Ah ken yer scepticism, and commend yer passion fur security.

Whit ah propose is this - come meet with us personally in Newcastle, see that we ur honest humble traders and then and only then we wull proceed daein' business with Oban if ye so agree!

Keekin taethe future tae seeing ye in Newcastle?

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Rab oot

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[Markam]

Message Class: Audio-Visual
Encryption: Drambuie
From: Fleet Admiral John Redmond

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Dear Regularly-Used-Animal Traders,

I eagerly await your business. Please direct yourself to Newgate Trading Post in Manchester to receive a once in a lifetime reward simply for turning up at the station! Your sister and mother, the same person I imagine, will be able to visit you on occasion as you conduct your lucrative trade business at Newgate, I imagine it will be so profitable that you will never leave.

Alternatively you could visit your local Battleship for a new paint job complementary of the Armed Forces.
That, or skip all the proceedings and find your nearest airlock.

Whatever is your preference.

Any further inquiries will be answered by the Admiralties dog, Ruffles.

Piss-warm regards,

Fleet Admiral John Off-his-Rocker Redmond
Dreadnought Venerable, OversectorSmeckter
Bretonian Armed Forces

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Markam is evil

[Rab Rintoul]

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NAME:Rab Rintoul of Weurnormaltraders inc.
TO:Ruffles, John Redmond
SUBJECT:Deal!

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Ah accept yer offer! We are new to the area though - Am gonnae appreciate if yous show us the way to any of those places! We shall be awaiting yer arrival by planet Hartlepool in Newcastle!

Say, Next Saturday?

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Rab oot

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