It was night outside. The room where Othani Momo was in was just a chamber of a hotel located in a district on Honshu. For three years, Othani Momo kept low profile for multiple reasons. The principal ones were the follwoing ones; she started having fake memory of her life such as her previous job, but even if she thought it was not hers, it was true. A voice in her head started to talk with her, saying sentences she once heard as Yuki Sinon, but not as Othani Momo.
Othani was sitting on the end edge of the bed, holding her head with her hands. The voice inside her mind was getting stronger and stronger.
Yuki! Don't go alone!
Get out of my head!
But the voice kept talking, but this time, it was a male voice. Someone she knew, but at the same time not at all.
I am proud of you.
Aaaaahhhh!
She stood up and headed to the bathroom where she opened up the valve, brought her hands together to gather as much water as she could in her hands and simply brought her hands at her face. It was useless. She looked at herself within the mirror, she was looking awful as if she was deeply tired and sick, but it was just her imagination.
I'm probably too tired...
She left the bathroom and headed for the bed. She laid on it, closed her eyes and tried to sleep. Remnant memory started to pop up in her mind, a memory of her being in the navy and before her, a previous admiral of the Forty-sixth fleet. Then, another remnant memory took the place. It was her with a woman having a Kusarian origin and from Bretonia. It was Camile Summers. Othani's thoughts were spinning non-stop and it forced her to wake up.
Othani Momo held her head with her hands, taking deep breaths to calm her thoughts. For the first time, she was afraid and confused. Why did she have those voices inside of her head? Why did she have memory from another person? Othani did not have any answer to these questions. All she knew, those memory, did not belong to her neither the voices she heard a bit earlier. In such circumstances, she needed to see someone specialized able to figure out what she was having at this really moment. Unable to think properly or sleep, she decided to leave the bed. She flipped the switch to allow the light to shine. The woman changed herself to go outside and she did so.
Othani was wearing a black uniform and her face was covered by a mask, hiding her lower part. This mask was only to hide her identity while being outside. It was around midnight, there was barely a cat outside. Suddenly, she had the impression to be observed and she looked at her left, nobody. She started walking to the opposite direction. The woman took a lone street, there, she only saw some cats starring at her. Then, from her perspective, one of them got closer and spat at her as if Othani was in its territory. She got ready to kick the cat, but a second thought came and her reality changed again. The same cat was just rubbing its face against her right knee. With her left hand, she rubbed her own forehead and started walking again.
What is wrong with me...
Then a voice replied in her head.
You are not yourself, Sinon.
Another one broke the silence.
Let's go to the hospital, you are injured.
Enough!
She knelt down holding her head with her hands. Her thoughts were noisy and an other remnant memory came. Inside of it, she was laid on a hospital bed and near the door, there was a man having concern eyes toward her. The man said one thing:
Rest well. I am looking for your recovery, Sinon-san.
This memory was longer than the previous one. And it was now a voice of a woman, a doctor.
So you do not remember anything? Well, that's...
I a-a-a-am sad, that you do not remember anything, S-sinon-san. You a-are an agent of the KOI, the intelligence of the House of Kusari. You do remember what Kusari is, right? You were on an important mission to Tohoku when you were ambushed b-by the Blood Dragons. Your ship was destroyed but you managed to escape pre-emptively in a pod. This encounter did not go unnoticed for your body, however: you have sustained concussion resulting in memory loss.
The memory stopped while Othani felt a hand on her left shoulder. A woman was behind her, it was a Kusarian and by the look of this woman, how she was dressed, wearing a white dress and wearing black high-heels, she seemed to be a rich investor.
Hey...
The physical contact and her word brought Othani to reality. Othani jumped away with agility preparing to fight her.
Sorry if I scared you. You were staying still holding your head... is everything fine?
Othani lowered down her guard.
Who are you? Do I know you?
No, we do not know each other. By the look of yours, I believe you are somewhat an agent or a spy or maybe a kunoichi. Regardless, come with me.
Othani hesitated to accept this invitation from this woman. She thought a lot, but with all she recently had, she couldn't think properly. So on a quick decision, she accepted the invitation by nodding in silence. The woman smiled at her and made a hand sign as a ''follow me''. Othani walked a bit behind of the woman because she did not trust her. After some hours of walking, both arrived in the entrance of a luxurious apartment. They entered inside, took the elevator and by pressing the last floor button, the elevator's door closed itself and the mechanism started working to reach its destination.
Reached the last floor, the door revealed a luxurious lobby. It was probably the woman's property. After Othani left the elevator, the door closed behind her and at the same time, the woman turned on herself to present herself.
My name is Sato Hana, it is probably obvious, but I am an investor for Kishiro technology. Outside of this, I am quite curious in general and because you looked quite... lost, I thought inviting you would do great.
Othani was not comfortable, she kept silence.
What is your name?
She was insisting. Force to answer, Othani replied.
Yuki Momo- No! Othani Momo, just call me Othani.
Sato Hana was a bit concerned by the beginning of Othani's sentence.
Othani-san... Alright. I feel you are quite lost, aren't you?
Othani's silence was enough to answer the question.
Do you want to talk about it?
I prefer not... You won't even understand.
Just speak. Emptying what your bag carries will free you some weight.
Sato offered Othani to sit on the couch in the living room and they both walked there. Othani sat on the couch and Sato did the same too. Othani took a deep breath before to break the ice.
I... I have weird thoughts and I have memory that do not belong to me. There are voice inside speaking loudly. I can't impose silence to them! I... I don't know what to do!
Hanna looked at Othani unsure what to say, but what she knew is that Othani was in distress to solve this issue. And the tonality of Othani's voice was filled of despair.
I see... I suppose you need to talk to a psychologist. Stay here, I will bring you something to drink.
After Hanna said this, she stood up and headed toward the kitchen, where she grabbed a glass and poured some fresh water, but before to come back, she grabbed her PDA and contacted a hospital within the region and she explained everything to the operator who was receiving the call. The operator redirected her to a psychologist running by the name of Saito Jin. Sato Hanna explained to the psychologist the situation of Othani Momo and he said that he will be available in two days.
Meanwhile, Othani was starring at the void. Her thoughts stopped poking her and the voices inside her head were silent for once. It brought some peace. Her attention was caught by Sato Hanna when she entered in the living room and offered her a glass of water.
Sorry for the wait, Othani-san. I contacted a psychologist about your... hmm.. problem. he said he will be there in two days so in the meantime, I can gladly offer you shelter until then.
Othani slowly nodded at the woman, but deeply inside of her, Othani was afraid. She was not sure if it was a good idea to stay here. More importantly, she did not want to see a doctor either nor a psychologist.
Othani Momo began to get used to live with Sato Hanna. This one offered her a guest room where Othani can have her intimacy and where to sleep. Of course, when she tried to sleep, it was hard. She was always on her guards, but Hanna was clearly not the type of person to trick someone. So she was honest toward Othani and it was re-ensuring for her. The night was long though. Each time Othani was about to sleep, there was always a remnant memory poking her. She ended up to have in total five hours of sleep.
In the morning, Othani walked for the bathroom and cleaned her face. She was looking as someone who did not sleep at all last night. After that, she headed up to the living room and sat on the couch staring at nothing. Her perception of time was lightly different. She felt the time slow, so slow as if it lasted like an eternity. After all, she was doing nothing. She did not dare to watch any news on her PDA nor watch if she had new messages.
After some hours later, Sato Hanna woke, headed up for the bathroom, took a shower, get dressed and finally, she headed up for the living room. She saw Othani's face, her mask was removed from yesterday.
Konnichiwa, Othani-san! I hope you slept well.
For a fraction of a second, Othani looked at her.
Not really.
A moment of silence occurred after she said this. As if she broke the moment in a way, but Hanna kept her mood up.
It is unfortunate, anyway, today I have a heavy charged day so I might arrive later than I expected, but you, you are free to remain here if you want.
Arigato...
On those words, Sato Hanna walked away and prepared herself to leave the apartment, letting Othani alone. The place began to be highly silent. Othani laid on the couch, closing her eyes, trying to get some sleep after her bad night caused by numerous memory all unknown to her. After some deep breath, she slowly entered in a state between sleep and wakefulness. She was about to deep herself in a dream when suddenly, a remnant memory decided to show up.
In this memory, it was Othani at her house on New Tokyo, but as Yuki Sinon. She looked at her left arm and her legs, she saw those prosthesis she found that awful even if they were the most recent ones made by Kishiro technologies. Because of that terrorist, she was now almost considered a cyborg, but at least, she was still human enough to not be one. Then her attention was caught by a man's voice.
Who did this to you?!
A Golden Chrysanthemum... my ship was about to explode and my ejection pod did not work properly...
It was Sinon's voice, but also Othani's voice.
Hm- At least you are still alive and that's what matters.
The man's voice was familiar and in fact it was her father.
Sinon, no matter what you do, be careful... I don't want to loose you, my daughter.
Don't worry, father. I am an ex-navy soldier! It takes more than that to take me down... but I can't deny that... well... those prostheses is clearly ruining my life...
Sinon's father got closer to her and hugged her tightly.
You always will be my precious daughter.
Those words made woke up Othani, tears were falling from her eyes, she did not know why. Probably because of this fake memory.
Why am I crying... because of a fake memory? It does not make any sense!
She sat up on the couch, wiping away her tears. She was also confused by this memory. Why was she called Sinon instead of Momo? Then, a sudden nostalgy hit her. Othani Momo was more and more confused by what she was feeling at this very moment. She thought it was not from her all those things. Maybe all this weird things were from someone manipulating her? But it was unlikely true. She deeply thought about the possible reason of why this is happening to her, but alone, she won't get any answer. It will be only tomorrow she will be find answers to her doubts and fears.
The rest of day followed and Othani couldn't even gain some sleep hours because of her questions and also due of her fake memory. At the end of the day, Othani walked to her room, laid on the bed and stayed there. She eventually fell asleep.
The day has come. It was today Othani will meet Saito Jin, a psychologist.
Othani woke up at 6am, she was tired because of the non-stop remnant memories of her 'fake' past. She rolled on the bed, put her feet on the floor, stood up, walked and then, she headed up for the bathroom. After a quick shower, Othani dressed up herself her usual black outfit, she put her mask on and sat on the couch, waiting something to happen.
[...]
Sato Hanna and Othani Momo went together meeting the psychologist. Hanna went outside after the greetings of the psychologist, letting Othani between the hands of the man. Jin was sitting in front of Othani, behind his desk, observing the woman carefully. Then, he stood up and walked toward the couch, inviting Othani to lay down. She did so and Jin took place on a chair, grabbing a note book. He then carefully broke the ice between them. He gently invited Othani to speak about what was troubling her in details.
Othani started to explain her sudden random absences when flashbacks were hitting her. She talked about her fake memories from the past that felt more realistic than fictive in some ways. She also said that sometimes, she heard voices inside her head. While she was speaking, Jin, looked at her and noted everything what she was saying.
So... You have flashbacks, voices within your head and you feel that what you feel about those memories are not yours.
He grabbed his PDA and showed a disease, the Schizophrenia. He continued.
Othani, I know it will sound hard, but you have a chronic brain disorder that we name Schizophrenia. You have those symptoms that are matching; delusion, psychosis and hallucinations, but yet, I can't be sure if you really have Schizophrenia. It more likely something is causing you to have such symptoms. Did you have any weird experience during your childhood? Or even something that shocked you enough during a specific moment while doing a certain activity?
Othani thought a moment. She shrugged and answered.
I remember... last year, I was in a hospital in Hokkaido. But it ends there.
The man nodded while taking notes.
Then, I will go there. Meanwhile, take care of yourself. I know this encounter was short, but we will see each other when I got what I wanted.
Othani nodded, stood up and walked away. Her thoughts were spinning fast. She did not know what exactly what to think about her mental state, but one thing was true. Something happened to her. However, she couldn't remember what happened. All her memory from before the journey at Fort Wakkanai was clouded. All because a medicine she took in order to retrieve some sanity she lost after an unusual contact. All happened in 829 A.S.
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