Alone in Sulfur

[Schwefel]

>> Personal Logs - Bambi "Schwefel" Rumbler
>> Location: Trafalgar Base
>> Entry: #1

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There ain't no priest in the stars. Closest thing we got to confession is a half-broken recorder and enough guilt to fill cargo bay three. Out here, silence's louder than gunfire. You better learn to talk to yourself - or you'll go mad listening to nothing. People think pirates talk a lot. Truth is, the loud ones just don't wanna hear themselves think.

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First off... To my future self. Or past self? You wanted this. You hoped this would be a good start to process everything that happened. Right now, the course you'll take is truly uncertain. Wherever you and our darn brother will end up, it surely will not be home. Better say goodbye to the thought of returning to the table. Do what I can't do yet. We'll need to remain strong. But anyway... knowing you, you'll have stopped listening already. Anyway, a lot has happened ever since returning. And it's only been a short while! Thought we could keep a low profile after vanishing for... a year? Longer, even? No. Of course not. And don't you start thinking "Oh, maybe it's time to stay out of trouble again. Trouble's always gonna find you. And if it doesn't, then you'll find trouble.

Let's start right at the beginning of the recent events. We thought it'd be a good thing to try and seek some light. Returning to Rochester Base in the New York System, it seemed calmer. A lot calmer than a year ago. Met a Freelancer living on the edge, made some money off a few transporter-captains. And of course, just like back in the past, you had a glorious idea. How about moving past Liberty? How about seeing what else space has to offer? And let me answer that for you, it's a lot. And by the time you listen back to this message, you'll have experienced and known a whole lot more than I do right now.

Bretonia... New London.

Drawing attention right on the first day, getting into trouble with that Sergeant Montgomery of the CDI. You know, I hope I'll have changed by the time you decide to listen to these messages. But more often than not it feels like two goons are living in my head. One is focused, sharp, strong. Maybe a little intelligent every now and then and, without praising myself too much, perhaps even a little wise. And then there's this other side. Pretty much a goofball, of sorts. I fear the day that this one will take the upper hand. Running around, guns blazing, flying into his own doom, taking our brother with him. Take good care of Trinity! Just like Ma and Pa always said. Keep him out of danger, train him well... yadda yadda.

What was the last thing? Right... the sergeant. Of course the goofball had to take over. Provoking for no reason, playing dumb and silly. Just like usual, especially with Trinity around. Doesn't make it easy to keep a clear mind. It’s almost like certain triggers are being hit. Triggers I can’t pull myself — which might not be a bad thing. Like I said earlier... A goofball on the one side and a sharp mind on the other. Please, for our own darn sake, make sure the sharper side always stays in control! Otherwise I wouldn't wanna think of what could happen.

We had some good fun with her. To be fair, I kinda liked her. Unfortunate that she didn't reply to that second message. But it is what it is. Might be better this way, even though I do think a friendship wouldn't be impossible. The good and the bad. Might've gone a bit too far with the wedding-thing, but eh... It sure felt good to turn around her accusations and corner her. That Trinity blew up her ship... well. Incidents happen. And it sure wasn't the last to come.

Now. We had another encounter with the CDI. And other fellas. Now, ask yourself the same question I’m asking now. Was it the goofball? Or was it the true you? In every situation.
You might not remember it by the time you listen to this, but there were a Zoner and two Corsairs. DTR, if I remember correctly. Whatever that's supposed to mean. Also remember that this was likely the starting point for a long journey. This was the first time you heard of The Order, some sort of nomads, the Omicrons, or "Omirocons" how you misunderstood it at first. And much more. This was the moment that you received navigational data that marks a way from Bretonia all the way over to Omicron Mu - yes, that still sounds like a cow. But maybe you'll have found out what this is about.

This was also the first time the scale of space – the real vastness – really frightened you. The first time you thought maybe all those stories, all the hearsay and whispered conspiracies, could be real. The first time that you questioned yourself, whether or not your path could potentially lead to something bigger than you would've ever estimated. Time will show... and tell.

How unfortunate it was that this Zoner just ran away after that. After the DTR - a gunboat and a bomber - opened fire on us. How the Zoner just got away, while you took care of the Corsairs, while another pirate decided to open fire on you, yet you still resisted and took care of them all. Right until the Freelancer and the CDI-Officer came in. Just living in the moment, until Trinity's ship - Pech - blew up and you towed the wreck and your brother in his escape pod back to Trafalgar Base. Actually, that was the moment you decided, to record your thoughts and fight insanity. How will your journey continue? I don't know yet.

First of all, I got to fix his ship once again. At least there's no need to take care of the malfunctioning mine-dropper anymore. He'll just get a new one altogether. So...

Keep a clear mind. Are you Bambi? Or are you Schwefel? Who do you want to be?
I'm not sure yet.

Schwefel out.
...Or maybe Bambi?