Senors I Centeno Tejeda Jr. Am going to show you the art of in space repairs. For this to be successful you need four things. Firstly, a flight suit which is in working order, Secondly, some ship hull panels from a trader of your choice. Thirdly of course you need your sidearm to use as a welder. Fourthly you shall need alcoholic beverages, enough to fill the water tank of your flight suit.
Your first problem is location, now senors for this most important endeavour I would suggest as far away from the local law enforcement in the area you are in as possible. Of course you will have to be careful where you park as you will be outside of your vessel. Si? I have seen many pilots perish from lack of beverages out there. That is the most important part of this repair hermanos.
Secondly, you need to leave your ship with the spare hull panel you have successfully acquired. Do not forget your sidearm as you will need it to weld the equipment into place. Also if you fail in this attempt your ship could explode so you might need your weapon to acquire a new vessel. Preferably one full of beverages no... of course not I mean food senor yes food. Si? Now attach your hull panel over the breach.
Thirdly, you will be required to set your standard corsair handgun to minimum power, yet maximum refire rate. This should produce a beam. Senors do not do the thing I have seen many people do and hold your weapon to your eye to see if it is working. It would be a shame to waste all of the fresh beverages you have in your suit now would it not? Begin to weld the hull panel on. Do not forget do drink the beverages that you put into your space suit this will make these hours in space more bearable.
There you have it then, this is how you do an in flight repair on your vessel. Now remember, this is only a temporary fix you should have a dock rat repair your ship properly at the nearest base. Dont forget to pay him for his trouble si? You would not like to see a rat angry, it might be the last thing you do senor.
I shall this time be covering Bretonia as a place. This house is very strange. Si? But understanding it is the key to vast wealth and riches. The lawful people of Bretonia can be split into two groups. The Bretonians call these groups the Aristocracy and the Proletariat. I call the former of these groups the Rich Senors and the second of these the Bretonian Rat. You will understand this more at a later time Senors. But you are with me so far?
The Rich senors have a lot of funds, as well as the beverages we all know and love. They also eat luxury food so you might be able to grab a decent meal for once in your life. That my hermanos is worth fighting for. Anyways this area constitutes the majority of the Bretonian Police and Armed Forces. Pulling a fast one against these rich fools is not very difficult. Many have been privileged all their live and in being so are not accustomed to battle. Just so you know the words Tally-Ho to these senors can either mean engaging, or that they have found a wonderful shot at a game of space polo. I would so love to explain more of the excentricities of this group but that would take a extremely long time senors ,si?
Now for the Bretonian Rat class, they are an unsophisticated people. Likely to laugh at pretty much anything. They can be seen mainly milling around the Leeds system and being what the Rich senor's call Disrespectful Chaps to the Bretonian Police and Armed Forces. These bear much more of a resemblance to someone with at least half of his survival skills still available. The few who fly under the Bretonian Police or Armed Forces from this group are likely low ranked conscripts. However they can turn out to be a most powerful foe senors kind of like a O.P.G dock rat when you forget to pay him for the repairs made to your vessel. They also have an interest of the racing at the Battleship Hood, that indeed deserves a mention. However, this is not good for you if their favourite suicidal senor has almost died at the last ring. To sum up, these are not as much of a valuable target as the other senors around this space. Targeting the Rich Senor's is far more profitable.
As a final word to you all Senors the best targets are the Percheron or the Shires. Both are used to haul valuable materials within bretonian space. Both will make you a very rich man if you manage to down one. Though if you fail you always have your beverages si?
Today Senors we will be covering one of the most important acts of a Pirate, How to infiltrate and sabotage an Enemy vessel. Si?
Firstly you will need a Bretonian Uniform, low ranked possibly conscript. Plus coaching in the Bretonian no sense dialect. Secondly, you will need either a small civilian or Bretonian vessel, one which is capable of fitting onto the side docking port of your vessel. This would preferably be extremely damaged. Senor, you can pick one of these up at any good corsair establishment.
Now what you want to do is stalk your prey in your corsair vessel, learn its route this is very important, si? Once you know its route find the most logical place for attack near a nebula is always a good choice. Park your ship and launch the old piece of Bretonian fish food you bought for 10 credits. Fly it to several hours away from where the Bretonian Rich Senors ship will intercept your craft.
Si, Si, Si... Now for the most important part of the operation, you must broadcast a distress call in no sense Bretonian. Then wait for the rich fool to appear. To be a Good Sport, he or she will likely take you onboard their vessel, Si senor. You will have to act like this is a Very Good Show. While they are distracted watching space polo on their entertainment system you shall slip away to the engine deck. Si?
You will then look for something called the cargo bay release si? You will attatch a detonator to the emergency release which will cause the cargo bay to open. Set this detonator for the time the vessel will intercept yours. Next set a detonator on the tractor beam control for the same time. This will leave their cargo stranded in space, this will definitely be A very bad show. For them, Haha.
Now just to add to the dishonour of turning up in an empty cargo ship, find the Lavatory Controls this will look like a lot of plumbing. You will set a detonator on this as well as on the Lavatory Waste Tank.
You will then return to them and act like nothing has happened, Si Senors? You may be lucky and they may offer you some Bretonian beverages. Wait for the alarms to sound warning them of the detonations then slip away to the airlock. Fly your fish back to your ship, if you have done this correctly there should be the cargo of the vessel in open space. While tractoring this in you can enjoy listening to the Rich Senors wine as the... goods contained in the Lavatory Waste Tank fill the bottom decks of the ship.
