The Joker is psychopathic, mass murdering, schizophrenic clown with zero empathy who may at times seem silly but is almost always in a murderous mood. He prefers using all sorts of knives and has a firm grasp of explosives, chemical engineering and weapon design, which he uses to create various instruments of terror, death, and criminal hilarity, if only to the Joker. He is responsible for the deaths of many people, and has contributed to the mental breakdown of others as well. His most frightening and dangerous asset is his intelligence.
He escaped from LPIs Arham Asylum and everything else about his origin and his past is a mystery, maybe even to the Joker himself. Carved up mouth in a form of "wider" smile and war-paints all over his face, which he wears as make-up to scare his enemies, surely leaves impression that the Joker is a seriously deranged, unstable and dangerous individual. He has told many different versions of he got those scars. It seems that he recreates himself as often as there is days. He has no matches on finger prints, DNA, dental, no name and no other alias. Whether his true identity will be revealed is still a mystery.
At one time he would be mischievous and funny, but at other times be violent, brutal, and cruel. Any humor that the character shows is sardonic and cruel. He is characterized by a completely random behavior and chilling ruthlessness that his enemies has trouble dealing with. He seems to live for causing havoc, and delights at making his enemies squirm. He has no moral attachment towards anybody but sees few of his enemies as true value to himself.
His methods are unpredictable and incalculable. He does things according to his own twisted sense of logic, and does not desire money. If there was one thing that he desires, it would be the power to instill anarchy into Sirius by any means necessary, proving that organization and a concept of planning is meaningless and futile. Often he is confronted by the authorities, but easily evades capture due to sick and twisted mind games he plays on them, all full of mystery. While the most criminals prefers to stay in the shadows, the Joker basks in the spotlight, often broadcasting himself to the public and media outlets.
The Joker is truly a personification of anarchy and chaos. His primary goal seems to be to prove that people, in dire situations, are just as sick and horrible as he is.
[font=Trebuchet Ms]Introduce a little anarchy, [color=#33CC00]you upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos.
The Joker enters the meeting-room, several thugs were already sitting, waiting for his boss to finally arrive.
- "Gentlemen, it has began." Then he approaches the long table, leaning over it on empty spot reserved for him, with hands supporting his weight. His face covered with make-up revealed decadent pride.
- "Watching those [color=#9999FF]500 millions of credits burn was such a wonderful feeling. I bet you enjoyed it too. It acquired enough attention, enough to pave the way for my next step. Even some of Phantomies likes us a lil' bit in their own unique way, and we all know how much love they give to this world, hahahaha."
- "Anyway, thugs..." Purple suited man pauses for a moment and shortly after starts walking around the table with his thugs watching his every step, every move of his body. - "There're not many of us but that's fine for now. We have several of new potential candidates waiting in line; ex-cons, freelancing murderers, former patients... just wonderful. But let's not rush things. First I'd prefer to properly educate several of you that I've got here right now before I even think of expansion." He stops behind one of the thugs. - "And I've heard that some of you are not entirely satisfied, hm? That makes me so sad." Joker-guy comes closer from the left side of thug's head speaking, almost gently, to his ear semi-covered with mask. - "I smell an impatient grandpa among you. I don't like that. Not. One. Bit." The Joker swiftly entangles thug's neck with his left arm and, with his right arm, sticks a small knife into thug's mouth. The blade exists through victim's right cheek with blood gushing all over the face of thug sitting right next to, now, a dead man.
- "Is it the money? I thought I made things clear." He pushes the lifeless body off the chair and sits in it. - "What I'm offering you here is something entirely different. Something really... special. It's obvious that I'm not like those other fools out there who live in their cocooned lil' worlds, wrapped up into the web of fragile rules, waiting to be opened up like X-mas present. Fear. Terror! That's what I'm offering you! You fear me today, like we all know you do, and tomorrow..." - Then he raises his voice hysterically. "... the entire world will fear all of us!!!"
- "Ideas simply comes to my mind and I execute 'em." - he says while cleaning the blood off his knife with a green handkerchief. It seemed that process of removing blood off the blade calmed him down. - "And I've gotten the next one, and it's going to be just spectacular. They're going to have to choose, ha ha, ha haa."
- "How do they say on those big-ass corporation meetings?"- he pretended he could not remember the rest of the sentence. - "This concludes our business for today.""
The huge doors opens but there is no Clown in site. Only sinister laughter is heard.
"Hah, hah, haa... Have you've been watching the news, goons of mine? - he says and then enters the meeting room by walking slowly. "Take a look at this then if you were one of those few whom I gave a shore-leave yesterday" Turns on a huge wall-screen.
"I hate that I've taken a joy of you going with me and doing that lil' [color=#33CC00]job. It was necessary to do it alone by myself, to attract less attention while passing through all those systems. Let me tell you right now: that was simply spectacular!"- he raises his voice trying to simulate mass hysteria. Mr. Ha-ha continues. "To watch it... burn. To watch it... all go away from low distance. Push of a button, people go boom! Up close and personal, a very personal experience that was."Then he pauses for a few seconds to prepare for one of his sarcastic lines: "Today I'm a better man then yesterday."
"She took the whole bait, along with the hook. I wonder... if I was a bit harsh toward her? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Just kiddin'."
"Other Zonies are not to be bothered unless they attack you. Those who do?" He stops, playing with his tongue in his mouth as if to gather saliva. "Report it right back to me. Not only that their convoys will burn due to our retaliations, but they're gonna find themselves playing another one of my games. I wonder will they be wise enough to let this go? They should be thankful actually. After all, Z-bitch is to be blamed, not the innocent lil' Jokey. I wonder will they allow themselves to become unreasonable as Silvy? I hope not, for their sake." Serious expression on his face wipes off carved, fake smile. "I do have other things to do and I don't want any interruptions which could really anger me."
"In other news, Joker's Asylum is as of now stationed at Barrier."says the J-man restoring his good mood. "It requires more of my attention before you see it flyin' around. Junkers did a pretty good job adapting that Liner."- then he raises champagne glass. "Let's drink to their unique ship-building skills." Others raise glasses as well and, while still sitting in their chars, take a sip of imported liquid.
"By the way... We attracted a lot attention; not only that new recruits are coming but we also a substantial help was offered by a guy with a huge, powerful boat - ProjectX. He's nice. Treat him with respect or I'll cut you in half."
After the last threat sentence he covers himself in silence. Almost as if pure, human and humane emotions were running through his mind... at least just for a brief moment. He stands up off his chair after that strange, un-jokey moment, and continues his speech.
"What would I do without you - my thugs! You're my family! I'd give you all a huge hug if I only could. So I won't. You're like a bunch of merry brothers that I never had and that I probably never will. Let's drink to that as well.
All of them were standing up in that room, with their glasses raised up-high again, drinking in the name of days of fun and laughter which lay ahead. The Joker left soon after. He left... who knows where. Celebration continued until the next day afternoon, not before their eyes turned into spheres of blood.
The Ministry of Ban™ is a ever growing group of murdering, deranged politicians who never run for any elections. Although it has its roots in the previous Joker's (dis)organization made entirely out of his ruthless Thugs, this newly formed Government of Chaos™ is made out of both ex-thugs and a lot of new recruits. The Ministry bans all sorts of things; they ban holes, gates, bases, they also ban people, both temporarily and permanently. Their main goal is to disrupt the house economies in general by often banning certain routes crucial for the inflow of credits.
Means of financing these politicians remains somewhat a mystery. In the past, old (dis)organization had some dealing with Mollies and Outcasts but rumors circulate that the huge portion of funds and technology nowadays is mainly donated under the table by Red Hessian Army themselves. Direct ties were never confirmed but the very fact that The Ministry has in their possessions Hessian technology, and the fact that they often operate in Rheinland space, could suggest that these rumors are not far from the truth.
The Ministry mostly bans transports/freighters as far as economy is concerned. Eyewitnesses report that potential Banees are often given a choice; to get temporarily banned and to go back where they came from by taking the longer, time wasting route. Other choice is to refuse to comply. In those cases, Ministry's victims simply get permanently banned. But similar choices are seldom given to those groups and individuals who dare to oppose Ministry's Force of Ban. They are treated with the utmost cruelty.
As opposite to their twisted (dis)organization, The Ministry of Ban™ despises any concept of order and organization, often preaching to their prays of how futile and pointless is to spend life-long existence to achieve a material goods or to fight for some "noble" cause. One could say that some form of distorted illumination is what some Ministers are personally after, perhaps seeking their essence of existence in The Notion of Ban™.
As far as commanding structure is concerned, there is barely any present. The Ministry is made out of Ministers and its Chief Minister who is often also referred to as The Boss. But that does not mean that other Ministers are not equally important. Although they do not make any important decisions all by themselves, they often do participate in a form of voting when the next Ministry's actions are concerned. However, they are above everyone, even The Chief Minister himself, when it comes to the questions concerned of their own departments. Some of the known minister's positions are: The Minister of Mafficism™, The Minister of Thorism & Beer™, The Minister of The Church of The Followers of Ban™, The Minister of Ban-anas™ etc.
The Notion of Ban
The Force of Ban™ is the only thing that The Ministers truly believe in. Although temple of The Church of The Followers of Ban™ exists in its unique form on Barrier Gate Station, they deem that this notion that they believe in, is not in fact a religion. It is the way the whole Sirius should exists -- In chaos which entangles the very pillars of Ban.
But what is The Force of Ban™? This force exists only in negatively aligned humans and only those who are truly aware of their alignment. Those humans who are irreversibly evil can understand how it is to get banned beyond any hope. Understanding of this force cannot be achieved over night. Many Ministers believe that only through years of practice and spreading evil all around, one can only begin to grasp the very concept of Ban.
The Notion of Ban™ is above everyone and everything. It cannot be stopped. It cannot be bargained with or reasoned with.
Everyone gets banned sometimes.
Faction ID
Pirate ID
IFF
Freelancer
Zone of Influence
Everywhere except friendly and neutral guard systems.
Base(s) of operations
Lisburn Rock, Cambridge
Barrier Gate Station Station, Coronado
All Red Hessian bases
Alcatraz Depot, California
Arranmore Base, Dublin
Friendly
Red Hessian Army [RHA]
The Molly Council [MC]
Hellfire Legion [HF]
Gallic Brigands - Legion des Damnes +LE+
Alster Union AU - Unioner
Neutral
Zoners - Temporary Autonomous Zoners [TAZ], Omicroners (]o[), Omicron Supply Industries OSI
The Angels [The_Angels]
The Lane Hackers LH~
Golden Chrysanthemums [GC] & Kiretsu
The Liberty Rogues LR-
Bundschuh - Volksfront VF)
Landwirtrechtbewegung LWB|
Cryer Pharmaceuticals
Independent Miners Guild IMG|
Colonial Remnant =CR=
Gaians - Nature's Last Hope [NLH]
Outcasts - [101st] Outcast Guard (be cautious, certain individuals like to attack from time to time), [ESS] Elite Shadow Society
Blood Dragon ]bd[
Nomads - The Keepers
The Order
Xeno Alliance XA-
The Wild
The Council
The Maquis
Unione Corse
The Indians
Unfriendly
Interspace Neuralnet Division [IND]
Synthfoods - Synth.Foods|
Deep Space Engineering DSE)
Universal Shipping Incorporated
Gas Miners Guild GMG|
ALG Waste Disposal [ALG]
Krueger Minerals GSI|
Daumann Heavy Construction
Republican Shipping - RepEx-
Samura Heavy Industries
Kishiro Technologies
Orbital Spa & Cruise
King of Freight [KOF]
The Mandalorians MM~
Border World Exports BOWEX
Bretonia Mining and Manufacturing BMM-
Gateway Interstellar
Ile-de-France Shipping
Gallic Metal Service
EFL Oil & Machinery
Hostile
Artisan Farmer's Alliance [AFA]
Black Dragon Society [|] Hogosha
Junkers - The Junker Congress .:j:.
Kill on Sight
Liberty Security Force =LSF=
The Liberty Navy [LN]
Liberty Police Incorporated LPI-
The Bounty Hunters' Guild and Guild Core
Sirius Coalition Revolutionary Army - SCRA| [but not within 5K of Hessian Bases]
Corsairs - |Sails, Benitez Family, The Brotherhood [TBH], Hispania Armed Forces [HAF]
Rheinland Military [RM]
Rheinland Federal Police RFP|
Kusari Naval Forces [KNF]
Kusari State Police [KSP]
Gallic Royal Police
Gallic Royal Navy
The Bretonian Armed Forces BAF|
Bretonian Police Authority BPA)
The Joker - Agent of Chaos, aka The Chief Minister of The Ministry of Ban™, aka The Man of Many Jokes, aka Former President of Badlands™, aka Washed-out Celebrity Clown ... Tridente - Outcast Gunship
The Thugs are entering the ready-room aboard The Asylum in a swift pace, all of them with different expressions on their twisted masks. The Joker sits in his large green chair. He seems to be enjoying the interior of his long-expected mobile madhouse.
"My sweet, sweet Thugs. My Thugs. My sweet goons. Oh, I wish there are girl Thuggies among us. That would be so nice. Higher morale and everything."
"This is our first meeting on my The Asylum so... What do you think? I still lack patients but..." - he stops talking for a second, trying to gain momentum in order to gather enough force to try start spinning his heavy laugh-chair."I can't have 'em before Cryer gets me a very special deliveryof medications that I ordered. Junkers did a pretty good job with tech specs on this Slaver but I had to decorate interior myself. Sadly, three decorators died in a process by trying to force their own set of colors. Their corpses are in cell number 11, please dispose of 'em after we're done with our meeting."
"Now, let's get into business, shall we? The most of you are aware of the recent events, activities and whatnot, but let me summarize for those who're new around here, and we have a lot of those, don't we."
"The situation after bombing Corfu and Freeport seems calmed now" - says the clown prince. He is spinning around his chair now whath obviously gives him some kind of childish pleasure. "I think that most of them probably realized by now that I really did 'em a favor. Of course, none of them approved my...method but I can understand that. I'm wondering though... will that Zonie, William Cross, after and if he wakes up out of a coma, go on a rampage against people who let that tragedy happen?"
"You've noticed that we're having more fun in Liberty lately" - and he stops his chair by putting both his hands on a huge table."Interesting thing to notice is that we better deal against bunch of cappy-boats escorted by bombers/fighters/gbs than against smaller, more agile squadrons of vessels that attack us without any capital ship support. We need to do something about it. I've got an interesting tactic in mind that should minimize our losses against these types of law-fools' attacks, and all you have to do is to stick to what I tell you prior to combat."
"I was surprised that BAF decided to drop in. We never pirated in Bretonia nor did we ever pirate their companies before. That surely changed since they pulled their little stunt on us. I imagine you were surprised as well when they first came to greet us as far in Cortez even, along with Libby idiots who came later in their big cargo-boxes saving the day for the Baffies who were loosing that one. Strange though..." - he glances at a spot on a ceiling which seemed to be missed by one of the workers. "One of these two sides were definitely operating out of their Zone of Influence." The Joker stands up and climbs on a table, inspecting the unpainted spot with obvious annoyance."How lovely, they broke their own rules only to come honor us with their presence. Oh, I like that a lot."
"Damnit... Do I even have to paint my walls myself nowadays?" - and he jumps off the table. One of the thugs quickly gets up of his chair and tries to wipe off the shoe traces off the table left behind by the painted man. He uses his left arm sleeve.
Mister J starts walking around his seated thugs. "As I'm sure you also noticed, we've increased our presence in Bretonia since then, engagedBAF few times. I expected more from you, although we were outnumbered. Hell... It seems they fight the different way than those officer-idiots in Liberty. We have to play differently next time against those cunning tea-worshipers. I think I got an idea how. So fun!"
"Outcasts seem to like us less lately. Actually, they seem to less like me, at least some of them. Ah. They really don't understand; they say that we pissed off their allies for what they claim to be as one of the reasons for them trying to claimtheir Tridentes back.That's silly because I've boughtthose gunships legally from them. Tricky reasons are hidden behind all of this. You don't have to know about it, it's good enough that I'm aware of it. One of the reasons that I will tell you about lays in our presence in Liberty - that's what's bothering Rogues and Hackers. They think we're there to compete with them which is silly thought as well. I expected to team up with these two factions sometimes in a future considering that we share the same enemy. They don't want that, officials don't want that at least, because we've all seen on more than several occasions how independent Rogues and Hackers eagerly join us in fight against Libby law-fools."
The Joker stops by a huge window, glancing at the glimmering stars through his multi-colored reflection.
"The most interesting development is actually related with Mollies; I've offered them an Alliance. I really can't predict whether they will accept it or not, but it's worth trying. As you've seen, they helped us against Brets in our last joyride in London. It ended up bad for us that time due to capital ship support they had. That will change. I give you my word, but at least we had our first action alongside Mollies.That is a good thing" - he turns back, approaching the table. The thugs were paying attention, not missing a single word."Irish...I simply adore the way they talk."
"We've gotten a lot of help lately from our new recruits, who already proven to be efficient enough for now, as well from our outside associates. Inferno-Drone and Frosty are to be respected, treat 'em nice as before. Also, let's not forget Shade who is a funny, whispering, quite brutal killer I also adore watching fighting on our side. I still owe him a delivery of several of dozens of people for his experiments."
"We spoke last night about promotions, so let me repeat it; Drunky is my number one from now on in, and Happy will be my number two. As for other spots... I still have to think about who's getting which one. As I've promised - those who show more initiative will be rewarded. Drunky and Happy are not expert tacticians but they're above average. And there's a lot of potential for progress, for them as for others of you as well."
He walks back to his chair and takes a seat.
"Be careful, be aware, my Thuggies. I've heard rumors that some people, who just envy us or who simply don't have any sense of humor, want to set us up. Imagine that. So, open your eyes and don't do anything stupid. No one... No one will stop me from having my fun on this stage called Sirius."
Then the painted man leans toward. For the first time the thugs seem to notice that he was not laughing. Not laughing at all. "No. One."
As you can see, our meeting couldn't take place aboard the Asylum as usual, but I just can't risk to reveal it's location, so I'm sending you this communique. The Barrier sustained a lot damage due to [color=#9999FF]bombings of those commie-bastards. Damnit! As you all already know, the most of our strippers/hookers/dancers are dead but the replacements are coming soon from Gallia. So keep it together and don't despair. The good news is that I already gotta a hell of a game in mind, muha-haha, hehe, ha-ha, ha.
I decided that first stage of my Inquisitionwill commence as of now! We shall call this operation... The Cossack's Doom. We'll hunt for those Reds wherever they hide. They'll infest the whole galaxy and we'll have no place to play if we don't start hunting now. I'm telling you, their spies are almost everywhere across the Sirius contemplating schemes and whatnot. I've heard even the Frenchies are among them. We'll surely have to question a lot of suspicious persons. Naturally, a lot of innocent people will get harmed along the way but, we never did care about that so why start now. Captured subjects will be interrogated aboard The Asylum and will go through series of special therapies I've came up with just for this operation.
Our workers/patients managed to repair our Pod B, and Pod C, where the bar use to be, will soon start with reconstruction from a scratch. I'll invest a lot of money into it to make sure it will be even better than before. In case you don't remember, I had intentions to host my show there but, it looks like I'll have to postpone it for now.
We have to be careful from now on in. Those damn party-rats! We'll have to tighten the security of Coronado in at least 10 K radius around Barrier so, in case you spot any suspicious boat floating around, shoot FIRST, ask questions LATER. We'll also increase our patrols in this area. That will surely minimize the threat of future commie invasions.
I curse the day when I used the color of red to paint my carved-up mouth. Now it's just too late to start using the different one. But we shall reveal them, all of them who are red from within. We shall crush their Party's efficiency under the iron laugh of my terrible jokes. They'll regret the day when Commies tried to trick us Clowns, and the day of our revenge will certainly be red for those bastards - it will be red 'cause I'll make them all bleed till they die and die again.
Haha, ha-ha, he-he, haha, haa! Laugh with me, my Thuggies, laugh with me! Aha-ha, ha-ha, hehe, haa!
[HOLOGRAPHIC PROJECTION DISAPPEARS]
[END OF TRANSMISSION]
[font=Trebuchet Ms]Hi Thuggies. As you've probably noticed, [color=#33CC00]some of our thugs have... departed. Please, please, don't you worry a thing, we've got newcomers already. All I want from you is full dedication and I've told you about that before. Those who didn't listen are simply not with us any longer. You waste my time and you end up dead. That's how it goes with me.
So many good things happened to us in the past few months. We started visiting Highrheinlanders, became friends with Hessies, we've tightened the grip around Bretonia. I've opened up a Motel full of sluts on Arranmore and I've been in jail for two days, made my debut album there which is sold in 45 millions copies already. Our popularity has sky-rocketed! More and more people are joining us, supporting us. On the other hand, more and more people want to kill me. Now that's just great! It's so damn fun! Things are happening as you can see and as I've promised. And it's getting more and more interesting each and every day.
Since I implemented my new tactics, things are going just fine. And it's gonna get even better once you get use to it. But no one is invincible, bad things will continue to happen but don't let that get you down. Remember - it's not about winning. It's about having a good time. And it's about delivering a message.
[HOLOGRAPHIC PROJECTION DISAPPEARS]
[END OF TRANSMISSION]
[INCOMING TRANSMISSION TO THE JOKER]
[HOLOGRAPHIC PROJECTION APPEARS]
[font=Trebuchet Ms]No one reads mine nor sends any transmissions to me any more so from now on in - I'll be sending it to myself so I wouldn't get lonely when my sluts have a free-activity day.
Lots of things happened to me these last few months. [color=#33CC00]After a one-month vacation and record selling debut album Jailhouse Joke, I returned to see the most of my thugs wasted from booze and drugs. Some of them couldn't even speak to me so I had them executed. The rest of em are working only part time, either because of kill saturation or college or family obligations. I'm left all by myself sometimes, gathering all sorts of strangers with me, venturing into cold and evil space... out... there. In the cold.
I increased my presence in Rheinland. Have loads of fun there when those RMeys and RFPsees are done with working in bakeries on their strudel prototypes. Met all kind of silly folk there, strange in their head. RHA seems to like me a lot nowadays and I've also found several friends among those ASGs. Those VF folk seem to like me as well, except that bitch leader Viktoria who's getting too much frustrated out of lack of sex, or none at all. I think she's in love with me but I'm not really fond of older chicks.
In Bretonia my presence is reduced. After Mollys signed that stupid treaty with BAF, I find it to be boring there. Nothing much is happening. I got tired of miners there. Bunch of idiots with water lasers mining for slice of idiotic Sirius dream. BAF increased their presence in Dublin, who knows why. I doubt it's because of those silly Irish Indian tribe. I took em out once out of pure boredom but I didn't manage to get their hot squaw warming her tent for me.
Describing Liberty would require 1543 entries so I'll try to keep it as shorter as possible. LRs and LHs don't like me very much, officials I mean. They never did but it doesn't really matter. I get a huge support from their indies. I'm forbidden to dock at their bases, and if there wasn't Rochester base and Junker's warm welcomes, I'd be lost in space there. Furthermore I guess those V-Raiders are kinda neutral to me. When I gather up with my followers, we bother those Navy idiots and those donut suckers as well. Also Marines started showing up. So much diversities out there. Sometimes I feel like I'm on piazza, can't decide which grocery to buy or steal. Nevertheless, with a help of my minions, I manage to tighten my grip from time to time. Those damn Hale's Angels started showing up as well. They're damn good. They're probably inspired by their leader's weird hairdo which makes them so efficient in combat but fun to fight against as well.
I had a pleasant conversation with a captain of LNS-Tundra. Roberty is his name, he was very polite. Interesting nommie fella. Offered my help if they ever find themselves in ever needing one, but not against Zonies of course. I have many friends there.
I venture into Badlands from time to time. Like colors out there. Shades of purple. It's enough inspiring so I find myself sometimes writing jokes on sheets of paper. Also working on my novel, did 2 chapters already but now I'm blocked. I think I've found a pretty good name for itI didn't know that the Joke was on me.
It's going to be a best-seller. I'll ask Doc Holliday for his opinion once I meet him on a dinner aboard his Med-Force-One.
[HOLOGRAPHIC PROJECTION DISAPPEARS]
[END OF TRANSMISSION]
I am writing myself this letter to remind myself of what has happened in the past three months. Yes,[color=#33CC00] this is weird, but it'd be more weird of me to not to do something totally abnormal.
Lots of interesting things taken place in the recent period of time that's now behind me. Guess I can start from the day I got my first destroyer. Pure joy struck me when Collin Breen announced to me that he can give me refitted destroyer which Mollys use to use as the heavy transport of some kind. It needed a lot of work and investments, which I never really had troubles finding. After it was restored to its previous glory on Belfast Production Facility, all it needed was the crew. Only several of my thugs knew how to operate such a large boat and, just when I thought I'm in a real trouble of finding proper crew-members, the word of my new ship reached the ears of Gunther Hoerts, a very cool hessian-leader dude, who came up with a great idea.
No one was more surprised than me when he suggested that I take aboard hessian convicts, renegades, misfits, maniacs, killers, rapists who were declared as traitors to RHA. Some of them were locked up in hessian prisons for years. Gunther Hoertstey is genius for releasing them into my custody,that's for sure. Those men adopted to the style of my command in just few days. I'm guessing that they liked the laid-back yet effective and brutal approach I require from people who serve me. My favorites were and still are ex-military rheinland hot chicks. Really good looking in those short skirts but dangerous and unpredictable as hell. Later I've put all of them as officers on the bridge to keep my morale high up. They had the same effect on the crew-members of course.
But good news were followed by bad news. Collin Breen decided to go... away. Some idiots made him step away, to make distance of all of this. When he told me that's he's leaving, for the first time in my life I felt kinda sad. Well, I felt sadness for the second time in my life to be more precise. First time is and was always reserved for the loss of my cat Zorro... back in the days. Too bad he left. Collin I mean. Men like that are real rarity. Good people. The kind of those reliable and truly unique friends who don't ask much in return whatever one might receive from them. He'll be missed but I can't really blame him. Sirius is full of morons.
Molly Republic fell apart after his departure. Now it's ran by some other Mollys or at least they appear to me as some others. They have a goal but lack initiative and enthusiasm. I had no choice but to try and bring them closer together with BAF. As a result, I had to sign an agreement of no hostility towards Bretonia. Just wanted to do something for MR, felt like I owned them something. Or was it just the absence of my friend which created that illusion of debt. I helped BAF on more than several occasions since then; against Sairs, Indian tribe, KNF etc. Still I sense the lack of enthusiasm on Molly side. Their country is being over-run by a bunch of idiots and they still sit still and do nothing against invaders. Since that agreement was signed, not once did I fight along with them against our common enemies.
In Liberty things are going a lot better than before. High number of supporters join me on everyday basis. Rate of won battles has increased significantly. Relations with Hellfire Legion are quite good now. We had some mutual fights against LN/LSF/LPI and I must admit HL were more helpful to me than I was to them. After all, they do posses a force to be reckoned with. Just last night I've also received informations that Liberty Rogues have recalled the docking ban - we can use their bases now. Another surprise. I guess they've realized I really never had nothing against them. Always liked the silly names that they give to their ships. What probably had the most effect on recall of the ban was the fact that we actually helped them once in California against squadron of Bouny Hunter gunships.
Went to Omicrons several times. Wanted to meet up with that nommie-captain of Tundra. We had ainteresting conversation before and now I wanted to talk to him about something else what might concern us both. But I was never able to run into him. Instead, I ran into those Core hunteys which proven to be a lot more funny than regular hunters. SCRA, Orderly fellas, TCG crew, frustrated Zonies and those normal ones... Everyone hangs around in Omicrons these days. Nommies are probably putting something in their drinks.
Lately I've been working on my newest project. My Own Hologram! Haha. Thug Techey has been really helpful. We have some problems with behavior inhibitors and frankly - I don't think we're gonna be able to solve it. But I'm inpatient. I can't wait to put my hologram into action no matter how much different he'll be in comparison to its creator.
I'm still writing my book. Sadly I've reached a wall. My creativity is down to zero.
The Joker cuts the Sirius-wide communique and steps away from the console. Lawyer was standing right next to him.
- Packages have been delivered, mister Ha-ha - he says.
- Good, good - the Joker replies. - You've done a fine job for a man who is getting payed for double-crossing and lying to people. I have no use of you anymore.
With these words, he swiftly stabs the lawyer into his neck which gushes out a river of blood.
Shortly after his last kill, the purple suited man enters a room in which huge purple-black hibernation chamber was in. His thugs were mournfully watching his boss as he was laying down onto a green bed surrounded by flickering purple lights. Several cats were already firmly sleeping on that same bed.
- Life support is at 100%, master roger-roger - says Droney in his commonly artificial tone. - Auto-navigational system is at 96%, Joker - Shushy adds with a sad scientific face. - This box won't have any problems avoiding planets, asteroids and potentially unsafe anomalies. - Solar panels are all good and shinny, boss! - Mimmey adds as well with his surprisingly merry voice for this occasion. - I'm sorry I wasn't much active during these last few months - Bozo felt he had to say something. - I was studying and I...
- Forget about it, Bozo - The Clown replies - My Thugs... You can bet that I'll remember only the good and fun times we've shared here, with those who stayed and those who departed as well - he pauses and closes his eyelids - I... I feel so much relieved now. I don't know why. Don't know how to explain it. I've never been happier! - he pauses again. - Now close this damn thing already Droney. And restart yourself.
Let me sleep forever...
As the huge doors are closing, shadowing upon the Man of Many Jokes, Joker's Vacuum Cleaner of Doom, Droney, figures out that it would be nice if his master programmed him to learn how to cry.
Two huge robotic arms seal the eternal space-tomb, releasing steam which covered thugs' saddened faces. They leave the launch-room few moments after like a disappointed kids on a Christmas morning. The whole room depressurizes followed by an opening of a huge cargo bay doors on now already abandoned Asylum. Slave Liner of Lost Minds releases a grave of the last comedian, like a smuggler getting rid of the unwanted cargo before the cops' arrival.
Purple-black coffin, in which he was now frozen with a smile on his face, is jettisoned into an outer space, soon to be gently gliding towards the stars which glowed dimly in the dream-like galaxies that lay ahead.
Finally, the sirian story of The Infamous Joker ended right there, in front of that colorful horizon.
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