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The Retribution Chronicles

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The Retribution Chronicles
Offline Leo
02-04-2008, 03:39 AM, (This post was last modified: 05-28-2022, 01:52 AM by Leo.)
#1
Pathfinder
Posts: 2,793
Threads: 400
Joined: Dec 2007

[Image: Retribution.jpg]
Artwork done by Sandara of Deviantart

Foreword

Retribution was a work done by me during the desert. It's in rough form because of this, but I'm currently going through each chapter and touching up the work to hopefully, turn it into a masterpiece. My original plan was to make it a single chapter, detailing the journey through Leo's adventures of trying to remember who he was. However, as time went on and I had serious things happening in my life, it turned into more of an entire series.

I know the chapters are long, and I know Retribution itself is a mammoth of a read, but a good one nonetheless, even in its shoddy form. I encourage everyone to take a look and see what you think, after all, it's the basis of everything I've written on Discovery from the first moment I registered nearly two years ago and even the name that I took on in OORP whilst on the forum.

So, please, take a look and tell me what you think of the overall story. Any help or views on the subject would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

~Leo


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PART ONE: Retribution

Retribution is the longest part of The Retribution Chronicles but the best read amongst them all. It details the start of the journey of the main character, Leo, and his escape from his captors, the ones who held him for so long, and the ones who took his life away from him. This is the trip of true Retribution, and his steps in doing so...however, at the end of the story, it leave one huge mystery behind. Who are the masterminds behind the program known only as Tainted...and where are they now?

Click here for story

Retribution Original Posts

Prologue
Chapter One: Through the Keyhole
Chapter Two: Tainted Dreams
Chapter Three: Ignition
Chapter Four: Brothers
Chapter Five: Sweet as Blood
Chapter Six: Rich as Flame
Epilouge: End Game

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PART TWO: The Rise of Jacob Keller


Jacob Keller is an assassin. His job is to hunt those that others want dead. Normally high ranking people of different military's, factions, ect. However, when he discovers that his implants are stronger than anticipated, and of the psycho AI hunting him at every turn, it takes him on a journey back into his past, back into a past he doesn't remember, nor should ever want to look into. The second installment of the Retribution Chronicles...

The Discovery Forum version will be shorter than the actual book portion that I am writing. Reasoning for this is people will not want to read into an extensive post on the forum that spans the length of an entire NOVEL. The same applies for the book "Retribution" that was the prequel to this one. Both BOOKS in their actual form will be double and even triple in length. The only forum post that will span decently long will be the third book, Memento Vivere.

Click Here for Story

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PART THREE: Memento Vivere
Will be posted after "The Rise of Jacob Keller" is finished. ETA: To Be Announced

You fear oblivion. Yet you forget. The universe remembers every atom of your being. Even dust hums your name in the dark.
Roleplay is dead. Long live Powertraders and PvP I guess.
Reply  
Offline Zapp
02-04-2008, 03:51 AM,
#2
Member
Posts: 4,978
Threads: 267
Joined: Sep 2007

I really like it. If you need any of my characters, check out the 4 links in my sig that go to my RPs and check them out to see if they fit.

[Image: u8rHEaq.png]
Reply  
Offline Leo
02-04-2008, 05:48 AM,
#3
Pathfinder
Posts: 2,793
Threads: 400
Joined: Dec 2007

Read all your Zapp and Carina biographies, so far I like your setup of your characters a lot. Very detailed and well planned out. If you're interested in posting I'll let you decide the way it goes with your post if you want in on it. Pick any character you want to use. I'll send you more details in a PM of the storyline.

~Leo

You fear oblivion. Yet you forget. The universe remembers every atom of your being. Even dust hums your name in the dark.
Roleplay is dead. Long live Powertraders and PvP I guess.
Reply  
Offline SimonBlack
02-04-2008, 05:23 PM,
#4
Member
Posts: 1,027
Threads: 57
Joined: Dec 2007

You can use some character of mine too:)The RP is long but it has a short version at the first post. Look at signature.

[Image: 14imk5h.jpg]
Character background summaries:
Red Hessians Major Matthias Schwarz
Golden Chrysanthemums Chusa Fumiko Shimazu
  Reply  
Offline Leo
02-06-2008, 09:44 AM, (This post was last modified: 02-06-2008, 10:23 AM by Leo 7992.)
#5
Pathfinder
Posts: 2,793
Threads: 400
Joined: Dec 2007

I'll certainly take a look when I get the time. Thanks!

So, I've decided to turn it into a Trilogy. A series of three books at four chapters a piece at 3-4 pages on the forum. That's 9x12 and that equals 108 pages total. No telling how many in book form. The First book is titled "Retrubution" followed by the next book. As I said, it should be around 108 pages total forum posting. If you guys are interested or are liking the story, please, send comments or suggestions!

I'm interested to see what the community is thinking!

~Leo

You fear oblivion. Yet you forget. The universe remembers every atom of your being. Even dust hums your name in the dark.
Roleplay is dead. Long live Powertraders and PvP I guess.
Reply  
Offline Leo
02-06-2008, 11:05 AM,
#6
Pathfinder
Posts: 2,793
Threads: 400
Joined: Dec 2007

*bumpage*

You fear oblivion. Yet you forget. The universe remembers every atom of your being. Even dust hums your name in the dark.
Roleplay is dead. Long live Powertraders and PvP I guess.
Reply  
Offline Leo
02-06-2008, 09:05 PM, (This post was last modified: 02-07-2008, 02:46 AM by Leo 7992.)
#7
Pathfinder
Posts: 2,793
Threads: 400
Joined: Dec 2007

*bump*

Obviously no one cares, so I'll continue to post the story, but with much less other interaction from other players. Thanks for reading if you are.

~Leo

You fear oblivion. Yet you forget. The universe remembers every atom of your being. Even dust hums your name in the dark.
Roleplay is dead. Long live Powertraders and PvP I guess.
Reply  
Offline Leo
02-08-2008, 10:09 AM,
#8
Pathfinder
Posts: 2,793
Threads: 400
Joined: Dec 2007

*Bumps so hard his foot hurts*

You fear oblivion. Yet you forget. The universe remembers every atom of your being. Even dust hums your name in the dark.
Roleplay is dead. Long live Powertraders and PvP I guess.
Reply  
Offline Leo
02-09-2008, 06:10 AM,
#9
Pathfinder
Posts: 2,793
Threads: 400
Joined: Dec 2007

*bump* Changed Chapters around. Post if you all are interested!

~Leo

You fear oblivion. Yet you forget. The universe remembers every atom of your being. Even dust hums your name in the dark.
Roleplay is dead. Long live Powertraders and PvP I guess.
Reply  
Offline marauder
02-09-2008, 12:26 PM,
#10
Member
Posts: 1,950
Threads: 42
Joined: Nov 2005

Geez, it's a damn ghost town in here.

I read it last night, very detailed and descriptive. Makes you feel like your watching the characters. Wish I could write like that.

Keep going mate, if you like then why does it matter what others think?

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