On the Second Days of Something, The Ancient Clown-God created couple of systems and some Suns too. And some people and animals. And they started to run around like patients without their minds. No one actually cared for they were not able to speak, nothing but a one single word.
On The Third Day, The Ancient Clown-God has gotten lazy and he did nothing till The Hundred and Seventeenth Day of Something.
The chaos and pointlessness were already there and people quickly got bored. Birds too. Then, The Ancient Clown-God had an brilliant idea of what to do the next day.
On The Hundred and Eighteenth Day He created Nomads.
And their first word was (***Ban?***)
The Clown-God was not pleased because nothing has changed. Not even for the next seven winters and five fridays. Everyone was bored for only one word existed.
Then He decided to create a prophet named Jeb. He said to him "Jeb, my clown-child from Outer-spaces, descend down, way down there, and make sure that everyone learned how to properly pronounce the word Ban. After you make sure that humans, nomads and birds had learned that one crucial word, then teach them three new ones. Those words are: rapture, house and rule violation report."
Thus Jeb came down from the heavens to teach someone else's flock a few new words. They all praised their prophet. They welcomed him dearly for he announced the coming of The Age of Ban. But Jeb was not pleased much. Humans simply could not understand what rule violation report really meant.
Prophet Jeb was a hell of a guy and almost everyone listened to his words while he was levitating over late night camp-fires. Above planet Manhattan. He wore a dark-purple robes and had a staff which glowed dimly for reasons somewhat strange. Some say that it glowed only in proximity of police officers and legally elected Xenos politicians. He spoke wisely about Age of Ban that lay ahead. Sirius dwellers cherished him as he was a Ancient Clown-God himself. They were bringing him food and water, as well as some other cheap commodities.
He said to them once "My children. My children of Ban, heed my words! Crops will grow, livestock will eat on green planes of planet Cork, pirates will raise demands and houses' commerce will surely prosper but... The Notion of Ban will stay the same. Without prejudice. Treat it with respect or you'll end up as one of the underlined infidel names in The Book of Sanctions."
The teachings of Prophet Jeb, teachings on thoughts of Ban, spread quickly throughout the galaxy. Many followed and worshiped the new Notion. However, some despised that gentle guy Jeb by claiming that he spoke of heresy and travesty which poisoned and corrupted the minds of The Followers.
Not much time has passed before Jeb had a bounty on his head.
The Ancient Clown-God was worried for the first time ever since he escaped Circus-Asylum of his parents called Addmeans. And that was two eons ago. Now his prophet-child was in peril, there was no doubt about it. Having no other choice, he invited Jeb to aid him and consult him.
"You did good but humans are simply too degenerative it seems. If they had any set of rules, no matter how ridiculous those rules really are, those puny infidels, those who do not believe you and want your death, would illuminate their pointless existence and join you in instance. Show them these Thirteen Rules. They will listen. They will kneel."
1. I am The Lord of Ban, who brought you out of the land of nothing and straight into Sirius, which I've created as my own playground.
2. You shall believe in nothing except in The Notion of Ban.
3. You shall create a statue of me so you can constantly worship the Silliness of Me.
4. You shall make wrongful use of the name of the Lord of Ban as much as possible, for The Clown-God will acquit everyone who misuses his name.
5. Remember The Ban Day and keep it unholly.
6. You shall murder without any particular reason. Life has no meaning anyway.
7. For six days you shall do nothing except murder and pirate.
8. On Sundays, you shall murder and pirate even more.
9. Dishonor your father and your mother. Dishonoring your whole family is more preferable.
10. You shall despise the concept of money. Material gain poisons what is left of your soul.
11. You shall pirate only for cargo, never for credits.
12. Hate your neighbor and steal his wife. Also steal his donkey, and his monkey, especially if he acquired one from planet Primus.
13. Spit on any given trade lane every second Thursday so the rust may prevent the flow of commerce.
But cloud of evil engulfed Prophet Jeb. Even before he could deliver to commoners The Thirteen Rules of his Ban-God, he was stopped in Cortez by Bounty Hunter Templar Order and, unfortunately, he was taxed for his life. His death was not swift for he was crucified on trade lane near California gate where he was tortured for two working Saturdays.
He cried and cursed but never begged to be sparred. Just before his soul had perished, he said: "Ban comes to us all."
Clown-Ban-God was angered. Furious. Immediately He came crushing from way above, 1000k above the plane. He rained like a inferno fires, randomly killing whoever was in his path. Common folks were astonished, screaming bloody murder, as they watched The Ancient Clown-God landing in front of some strange cave. Once he entered it, he did not came out for two and a half hours.
The ground bellow the swarms of witnesses trembled as they waited for Him to come out.
And the Ancient Clown-God finally came out of The Cave of Eternal Laughter carrying a huge book in his hands. He approached to his audience and said "Let there be Ban!"
![[Image: thejokert.png]](http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/5531/thejokert.png)