Liberty's finest

[Zapp]

Recruitment has been moved: please put all applications here

---

[Reverend Del]

An oldish looking man sits at a new desk in the office, the sign on said desk says "Sergeant Jonas - Recruitment" Scrawled underneath, in very bad crayon, it says "Dady".

The officer in question looks about 50, he's haggard and overweight. As you walk in he glares, and nods you over to the obese man sleeping behind the other desk in the room.

---

Saint Del is considered a holy healer of diseases of children, but also as a protector of cattle.

[Zasalamel]

*I take the test and look at it and say: "This is gonna be easy!! hahahar! Har har har! hyuk hyuk hyuk! hee hee hee! alright, i should get to work now"*

1. Do you like donuts?
Donut? What is donut? I only know what a donute is.
2. Do you like coffee?
:PMMMmmm Vanilla Mocha
3. Do you like paperwork?
Non
4. Do you have any flight experience?
Non- I mean kinda, sure, yeah
5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
One Million Sirius credits per hour! Hnngh!
6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
Nah, I dun wanna work at all and I wanna fly a cool ship!
7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded
weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
Oh, so I won't be flying a cool ship? Aw. And no, I don't have any objections to being tied to a Patriot. Does that mean I'll get to watch football games everysecond of my life? I hope I get Tom Brady.(you won't get that if you're not from the USA or never heard of the New England Patriots) Yay! upgraded ejection seats! :yahoo:
8. Are you disgruntled?
Sorry, my english bad. What [is] disgruntled?
Giggity!
Giggity giggity!

*I hand in the quiz to the fat, retarded man and smacks him across the face with a stapler then does the retard dance, waits a little bit..................... then keeps mashing man to wake up with stapler*

---

Sig made by Jazz

[Reverend Del]

Tom grumbles, it's ab it like the sound from a very small volcano. He stands up, more unfolds, from the table and walks up behind the potential recruit currently beating the Chief. The Chief merely mumbles in his sleep, the fat on his cheek taking the brunt of the damage.

"Assaulting a police officer? Come here!" He grabs the applicant by the scruff of his neck, neatly dispossesing him of both stapler and application in one gesture.

"Nope, just not enough there. Come back tomorrow, and leave the offensive weaponry at home."

Tom walks the failed applicant out of the cop shop, plants his signature kick up the behind and dumps the recruit out into the street. Walking over to the incinerator he throws the stapler in.

"Can't have offensive weaponry in the office." with that he stomps back to the table and gently falls back to sleep.

---

Saint Del is considered a holy healer of diseases of children, but also as a protector of cattle.

[Zasalamel]

application blank until further notice

---

Sig made by Jazz

[Exile]

"...A test? A test?! Its just a summer job and their having me take a test?! Right... Bluegh! There's... Donut jelly all over this pen!"

1. Do you like donuts?
Just plain, glazed, chocolate, blueberry, and cream-filled.

2. Do you like coffee?
Just smell my breath!

3. Do you like paperwork?
Paper that works?! Wow! When did that happen?

4. Do you have any flight experience?
Well, i used to jump offa the roof of my house, and try to fly..

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
More than the previous one anyway. They paid me in turtles...

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
From 19:00 to 21:00. The times that i'm awake.

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
Ejection seats? Its not like we're gonna need those... Right..?

8. Are you disgruntled?
Just abit.. Mainly because of that fat guy falling asleep on the floor and drooling all over my shoes..

---

[Zapp]

The fat man sleeping on the floor awakes with a start. A puddle of drool has formed -- it wouldn't be an understatement to call it a 'lake'. He jumped up, and noticed the applicant standing there. Snatching the paper from his hand, he read it, and then threw it into the paper shredder.

"We be payin' in alligators. I mean wombats. What be yer name, foo? Yer hired."

---

[Turkish]

A young, handsome man walks into the room. His hair sways in the soft breeze of the circulated air and his teeth glint with a fine precision seen only in holovids.

"Good afternoon" The young man says, with an accent so soft and delicate it would melt any girls heart.

"I'm here to take the basic operations test for the LPI." He says, in an equally orgasmic way.

A rather plump, balding, sweating, ...eating man looks up.

"Hrrr, you want to join the LPI? Son you look like you have prospects in life...."

The boy looks up, his hair shimmering and his jaw grinning.

"Well yes, I do have prospects in life. But I've always wanted to stand out, so the LPI seemed like a good bet."

The rather large man looked disgruntled, and somewhat offended.

"Fill out that paper, place it in the tube to your right. Expect a response in six to eight weeks."

The LPI officer returned to his Kusari instant noodles and half finished glazed rings.

The boy walked across the room, took a seat at the desk and began to fill out the exam with what he only hoped was a pencil. The smell was confusing to say the least.

1. Do you like donuts? "Well, yes I am fond of the odd donut."

2. Do you like coffee? "A fine roasted coffee, yes I do enjoy it."

3. Do you like paperwork? "I'm more of a looks good person, rather than a files the papers person."

4. Do you have any flight experience? "Yes, I am very well versed in piloting a wide range of civilian craft. As well as parking them with companions in tow."

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this? "I actually don't know what to expect, but it can't be any worse than lav attendant at Newark."

6. What hours do you expect/can you work? "On record, or off?"

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do? "I don't expect to be targeted much, no one has been able to bring themselves to strike this face yet."

8. Are you disgruntled? " Not really, but I can make a really authentic meanie face."

With a certain persuasive stride the young man walks over to the deposit tube and places his application into it. With an equally compelling movement he turns his head and speaks to the officer once more.

"So, do you have any uniforms without elastics waists?"

---

I have a fetish for all things Norse.

[Zapp]

Five seconds later, the form flew out from a hidden tube in the ceiling and into Matt's hand. He rolled it up, and hit him on the head.

"Pretty boy, we gonna hafta get ya some scars and whatnot, build character and what not. Ye be hired, foo."

---

[DBoy1612]

A large looking man walked in to the LPI recruitment office. He was bald, chubby, with a strawberry jelly donut stain in the middle of his shirt, and a coffee mark on his right wrist.

"Eh! Der be tat appli... Appli... Paper thingy dat I write in?"

The women at the desk looked overly disgusted while handing him an application and then ran to the back room.

"Cmon missy! I don't smell tat bad!"

He looked at the paper trying to spell out the words as he read.

1. Do you like donuts?
*drool stain* - Err, oops. Yus I like tem donuts, teh straberry jelly kind!

2. Do you like coffee?
How 'lse am I to wake up in teh mornin'?

3. Do you like paperwork?
I can barely read teh damn things!

4. Do you have any flight experience?
Wats tat?

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
I 'erd you had free donuts on break.

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
Tem I'm not eatin' or drikin 'uff.

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
'Top askin big questions! I can'ts read em! I'mma just say yus!

8. Are you disgruntled?
Disgr... Disgrun... Wat tat word say!?

He sneezed after reading the last question, snot stains covered the paper. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and yelled;

"Eh Missy! I'm done!"

---

Retired Admin
What Dustin now spends his free time doing... Don't hurt me... Though EVEMail me if you play. ^_^