Michal Golanski

Michal Pulanski
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Michal Pulanski, Gran Pula 818 A.S.
Profile
Origin	Edge Worlds
Occupation	Order Coffee Boy, Wedjat HQ's Bathroom Janitor
Affiliation	Union of the Janitors
Rank	Janitor
Status	Deceased after a combustion in one of the bathroom due to his farts
Born	30th April 798 A.S., Planet Crete, Omicron Gamma

Feel free to rape me, many bounty hunters did that engaging battle with me. And oh, I won't oppose resistance!

35pxBackground

Golanski is an Order Primary Fleet janitor, former Zoner prick born on planet Crete. Recruited to Order by covert recruiter onboard Prison Station Mitchell. His duty in primary fleet, as a janitor, began after the invitation of a lonesome order agent that had some problems with the bathrooms of the Isis.

35pxEarly life and descendant

Golanski was sometimes mistaken as taliban, due to his voice. But his parents were Zoners, and how they breeded him is yet unknown, possibly thanks to a lucky encounter between his mother with a resident of the ancient republic of Congo. He spent his early life in Omicrons, that's why his dumb callsign of 'Omicron' (I have a lot of immagination, I know). He lived mainly on Freehooker 9, being trained in piloting a flying banana to the rear of a whore when he was 16. His life was hard as the film productor insulted him constantly about the dimensions of his pee-shooter.

35pxFreelancer career and Order

Freeport 9, to which station Golanski affilates himself to.

Finaly a hooker's ass was too small for him. In 817 A.S. he bought an Osiris due to him becoming a homosexual, and having some problems filling his butthole with something that had small proportions to his crack. During these troublesome times he met the luzly, lolzy SOB going by the name of .i. (also called, codename 'penis'). During this span of time, he had an average increase of his crack by a neat 400 K.

35pxIn the fleet

Live in The Order changed him, cleaning the toilets of the agents that ate fried Nomad for Christmas was a bitter pill to take down, that's why he probably suicided himself in the bathroom by de-pluging the oxygen supply system, intoxicating himself with a fart.

35pxRumours and facts

• He is rumoured to be a agent who made accurate maps of the ass of Robert Rodent D'Souza.

• Golanski was recruited as a janitor by you know who.

• He is sometimes mistaken as a taliban due to his voice.

• He linkes to play 'throw it in my ass' with his school mates.

35pxCareer service record

6.11.817

Joined Order secondary fleet as a janitor onboard the Sajuuk. A smelly battleship renown for its bathrooms.

8.02.818

Duty as hooker in the private quarters of the then fleet admiral Robert D'Souza.

25.04.818

Accepted into primary fleet as head-blowjob giver.

10.06.818

Demoted to janitor. Assigned to CV-Aresephes as janitor.

10.07.818

Buttcrack enlarged by an Osiris who didn't saw him floating in space while sucking on the stick of an unknown agent.

13.08.818

Promoted to Lead Hooker. Assigned order of pleasing the current Rear Admiral.

8.01.819

Got his penis cut off.

22.02.819

Got his balls cut off.

26.02.819

Got his tongue cut off.

17.03.819

Did he got something else cut off? I don't know, but I think that someboy filled his crack with hot wax after this.

12.04.819

Promoted to Eunuch.

4.05.819

Promoted to Glory-Hole.

35pxBest known vessels

"Predator", an T-493-HF 'Karasu', Michal's primary fighter.

"Predator" - T-493-HF Karasu GMG Heavy Fighter.

Golanski's secondary anal sex toy.

• • H16 "Reaper" Order Neutron Cannon Mk V x4
  • CP-e "Debilitator" Civilian Advanced Mk II Pulse Cannon x2
  • Starkiller torpedo launcher x1
  • HM-i "Ripper" Homing Mine Dropper x1
  • CM-4 Enhanced Countermeasure Dropper x1

"Morning star", an XB-2 'Havoc mk2', Michal's primary bomber.

"Morning star" - Havoc mk II - XB-2 Civilian Bomber

Golanski's tooth brush.

• Loadout:

• • G2 LS92-1 "Lacerator" EMP Cannon x4
  • ANC-2 "Nova" Antimatter Torpedo Launcher x1
  • AN-3 "Supernova" Antimatter Cannon x1
  • MX-17 Nuclear Mine Dropper x1
  • CM-4 Enhanced Countermeasure Dropper x1

"Sajuuk", an CV-1 'Osiris', Michal's frontline battleship.

"Sajuuk" - CV-1 Osiris Order battleship.

Golanski's main sex toy.

• Loadout:

• • GMG battleship primary turrets x11
  • "Mortar" artillery turret x1

"Inquisitor", an Zoner Juggernaut, The Order flagship.

"Inquisitor" - Jinkusu - Zoner Juggernaut

Formerly known as CV-Pyramid, the Jinkusu above served Flt. Adm. Braddock Muleen as his sex toy, due to the fame of the Order having sex with their ships while the Nomads watch them.

• Loadout:

• • Order Battleship Turret Mk II x12
  • "Heavy mortar" artillery turret x1
  • EMP-1 Battleship Pulse Cannon x3

35pxPersonal point of view

Faction Relationship Factions Penis Allied Balls Friendly Asshole Neutral My mother Neutral My sister (Yes, I'm an incestous SOB) Neutral Dildo Neutral Bondage Neutral Yoghi the Bear Neutral Homer Simpson Unfriendly My father Hostile Meat grinder Hostile Girls At War Vagina At War