Feedback Wanted

[Pepe]

I see no story in your beautiful video, Snoo. Ones that have never heard of Bowex and BMM would never guess they are companies. You should show mine/sell/buy somehow, in a way everyone would understand. I saw ships flying, I saw them shooting rocks, but it's not obvious why. Show how ore gets to cargo. Show Shires entering lanes are loaded. Show selling and getting credits, show buying something cheap and selling for profit in return.

About security division part, make clear why are some ships shooting on other ships. It could be done in short sub-story form, show convoy that gets intercepted by bad guys, show their mighty guns as a threat, show security jumping in to help, show why players are shooting on each other in this game.

Watching some company presentation videos might help you. Watch only ones without speech/text. It's not easy to send a corporative message without saying a word, not easy at all. It can't come over night, but thinking in that direction is a good start, mate.

Your talent is obvious, now try to advance and sharpen your storytelling skills.

With best intentions,
Pepe