Morph Logs: Immertum

[Nosferath]

Glad to see your first log. And it's nice, for a first one. Let's see:

• *Try to find more ways for calling humans. 'Darklings', as well as any 'Dark-sth', gets stale quickly.
  
• *It's common to omit certain words in nom speech, but make sure these words are not necessary or important. For instance, *** 'what' ~darkling~ 'doing'*** is pretty incomplete. You could have said *** 'what' is ~darkling~ 'doing' (?)***, which greatly improves understandability. The (?) is the most common way of formulating questions in nom speech, but you can make up your own.
  
• *I really like these **descriptions**. They are very useful, you can convey a lot of non-verbal communication with that. Keep doing it.
  PS: I re-read them, and realized they were visions. Still, they are quite good, I liked the descriptions. Originally I thought you were describing what your nomad was doing, what the others could see. I guess I skipped through it too fast.
  

So, in short: Good first log. Make your phrases more complete, and add more vocabulary.
I'm not going to ask for complex/uncommon conversation topics yet (unlike "What are you", "Why do humans attack each other", "I'm a young nomad, eager to learn", which appear in almost every log of a morph that has just begun its journey)

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Slomon K'Hara - Faction Recruitment - Faction Information