Son of the Thalatte

[Reeves]

Log : 5

It's been a few days since I actually put together a constructive log, and I know some of the past ones were rather large and documented almost entire conversations. Somehow I just don't feel like that's required anymore, like I can convey what I need to while rambling less and jotting down significant things minus the obvious clutter. I'll start dividing things worth talking about into their own little sections, if I find any particular dialogue from my encounters worth mentioning or even sentimental to me, I'll mention it. I'm trying to maintain a log not write a book. I don't need to waste time and hurt my fingers on putting out so much detail when this is actually just for me, nobody else is ever going to see this...unless I die and hand it out to the public.

I've been working quite closely with Stacker for the past two to three days, helping by escorting him as we transport resources back and forth to aid the fleet's operations financially. It's not very exciting, but it's nice to be useful. On the third day, I think. We talked about where both of us came from, although I had to lie to him about my own origins. He said he was from L.A himself and that most people came to work for Auxesia because they wanted to run from something or because they really had nowhere else to go. In either case, anyone that stayed ultimately look at it as their home.

Veering off topic from the on-duty events, Miri/Inge and I went on a 'date' to Gran Canaria. Planning to spend the day there, I was nervous about it at first, but what happened between us the night before last sort of took the edge off. If we could do....'that'. Then I told myself a day in the sun, swimming, walking on the beach and having dinner together would be easy.
We spent most of the morning and afternoon together in the pool, I do hope the neighbors weren't...watching or have kids, that would be... ill-advised behavior from us then. We spent some time on the beach after that, just walking together. It was nice, I felt content with everything I had, with her. I don't think she realizes how happy she makes me just yet and I'm afraid telling her just how much might put too much pressure on her and scare her away, which is the last thing I want.
She seemed beyond surprised at the sight of me in a suit while we were getting ready for dinner. I guess it was money well spent getting the whole outfit tailored then. She asked if I would be okay heading down to the restaurant myself and giving her twenty minutes to get ready, I obliged happily.
It felt like forever waiting for her, but in a good way. I kept wondering what she would be wearing and was slightly frightened the implications of a date might be too much for her. Every time the doors would open, I would look and hope it was her, I did that an endless number of times. Eventually my mind and heart melted when I saw her walk in, she was nervous, looking for me. I managed to get my legs to move and help me stand up to show her where I was seated so she wouldn't be lost. She braided her hair together into two little tails that connected at the base, hanging at her waist in a pony-tail. She wore a white dress with green highlights and even put on some make-up, I had never seen her like this before and it even seemed like her first time dressing up this much. I was glad she considered me worth all the grandeur though.
Dinner itself felt great, we kept joking and acting like we were both on a blind date together, like this was our first time actually meeting one another. I played along because I honestly found it funny and so did she by the looks of things, it also seemed to take the edge off and make her less nervous. I had to lie to her about my past when the topic came up. Then again saying "I'm a tube grown baby." Doesn't exactly sound like the most appealing of answers to give on your first date. I have a feeling my answer was a little too...elaborate, it made her a little upset and she lost her focus, I was afraid I killed the good mood and did my best to bring it back.

We went back up to our room again after dinner, she seemed a little out of it, probably tired. So I asked if she wanted to indulge in my little plan for the evening, to which she readily accepted. I planned ahead and brought and inflatable mattress with me, all I had to do was take it out onto the humongous balcony and hit the green button, the tiny motor would automatically inflate the entirety of the mattress itself. Two pillows even popped up once it was completely inflated. We lay down there, looking at the stars in each other's arms. After a few moments we started to pick up where we left off in the pool, I don't think...discussing what happens next is appropriate even though I'm the only one that'll ever possibly read these logs. It did eventually translate into the pool though, but back inside ultimately. At one point I could have sworn she blurted out the words "I love you too." While I was citing things I adored about her, I was a little dumbfounded by it all and explained I sort of felt the same way. She seemed put off by the implications of the word though and nearly left had I not persuaded her to stay and not let a few stray words ruin the day we enjoyed together. We managed to put the flustered phrasing error behind us and went to sleep together in each others arms just like we nearly did outside to begin with.

I couldn't help but feel slightly upset having to leave to get back to work in the morning, I could tell she did too. But we had jobs to do and lives to lead, we couldn't just throw everything away on a whim.
Even though we probably wouldn't see each other immediately the moment we got back, because I would be on duty for majority of the day, I still promised to call her once I was off-duty for the evening. And if she was up for it we could probably spend some more time together. I'm still honestly afraid that my impulsive words that night had upset things beyond repair, we were perfectly happy before that and starting to trust each other. In either case she said she would call me once she had some free time herself. I do seem to miss her when we're away like this, but being together 24/7 seems obsessive and she has a life to lead herself, which I more than understand and respect.

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Developments for personal reference:

I'm hoping Raven and Hunt don't go through what they did before I left again, it made me really worried to see her lash out like that and point a gun at everyone. I'm just glad the issue resolved itself by them walking away in each other's arms rather than someone being hauled away on a stretcher.

Personal developments:

I experienced something different that night with Inge, I'm not sure what to call that emotion and it doesn't really have a set definition as far as I can tell, everyone seems to have their own view of it, so I'll consider my emotional spectrum widened despite not quite knowing what it is.

I feel like I should get to know all the people around me better, or at least try. It would be nice to have friends if I needed people to talk to. I guess I'll just start working on this with my actual siblings first, they'd probably understand me and my nuances better than anyone else could.

Things I need to do or want to do:

I should probably plan up a more extravagant second date for us, if there ever is one. I still haven't exactly decided on destination or the itinerary, but I plan to make it different from our first. As much as it possibly can be at least. Hunt told me Inge really liked the view from the safe-house on Honshu, so maybe I'll try asking her to go there with me, or just go to a place that feels less Auxesian like Baden Baden. I find that name humorous.

I still really really REALLY need to thank Artemis, but I haven't seen her for a while after the small incident in the Medical Bay. I hope she's alright.

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On indefinite hiatus because the current state of gameplay sucks - ping me over discord if replies are needed