Gateway Comm System: OPEN
To: All Personnel
From: Cap'n Jubal
Subject: Leeds 's a pirate paradise
Afer'noon m' friends
Well sir, m' 'n Gimpy are comin' back from New York 'n headin' t' LD-14 don't you know. Weun g't sum boron fer th'm LD'ers. We come out 'f th' trade lane 't Stokes an' dang gummit, th' ol Gain Clover 's there 'n shoots ou' th' trade lane fr'm under 's. She starts 'p her jammerin' 'bout need'n 500,000 fer tis an' tat.
T' tell ya th' truth, I's had 'bout nuff o' these pirates. I's switch m' radio t' th' Mandalorian hep line an' ask-em t' send somun o'r t' hep m' an' Gimpy out 'f a jam. B'fer you knows 't, MM~Diana.Blane 's a streakin' out 'f the Leeds trade lane an' opens 'p a serious can o wup ass 'n ol Clover. She don' know wha' hit her.
I gits out a ther' fast like an cuz I' so ralled up, mistakenly takes th' trade lane t' Edinburgh. Well dang nabbit, Pato.Dooley[Molly] has shot ou' th' trade lane an he's up my arse faster'n a tape worm. I's hit th' cruise engine and high tail't back t' Leeds. But th' dern criminal hits m' wit' a cruise disrupter.
I hits th' thruster an head t' th' Dublin jumphole tha' 's 10k away an closin'. The ol lunatic Molly 's a sing'n songs and shoot'n every dern thing h' gots a' me. I'm a dodgin' and weavin', a ziggin' an zaggin' and th' Perchy is hold'n together. I makes 't t' th' jumphole and skip to Dublin. Com'n out a jump I's see the BS Hood 's close by 'n I runs fer it.
But ol Pato 's breath'n 'n m' again an' starts a shootin' but he's a missin' 'is shots. He mus' been a drinkin' cuz Gimpy an' me dock 'n the Hood an' ur safe.
We'un so happy tha' I'm a cry'n fer joy an Gimpy 's rollin' 'n the ground an' doin' his tricks.
