Nephilim

[Daerune]

[color=#000000][font=Arial]<span style="font-size:18pt;line-height:100%]Personal Data Storage Device

Entry: 01

Sitting in the Alcatraz bases bar is where I am right now just sorting out my weapons, eight daggers, two swords, two pistols. Nothing really to heavy just lightly armoured, normally I would have my rifle with me and maybe my sniper though I hardly use it, up close with the blades just seems a bit more thrilling to me now, I've noticed some changes since enlightenment things I hate I still hate but enjoy.

Sadistic

I use to be merciful and never had to act on and sadistic intents such as when seeing a fight I tend to get to far into the feeling and I struggle to keep myself back, now I seem to 'enjoy' the feeling when watching almost giving no second thought to just jumping into one against enemies, like I can't help myself not to kill them, not to make them suffer, not to watch their ships explode and watch their dead body float in space. I have a conflict of feelings I both hate it the old me is still somewhere, but the new one the more donating one is the one enjoying it, I won't but he will.

Restraining

I can only just restrain myself against my 'old' friends they I can resist not to harm up to a point like Lafiel Tarrant, Mr & Mrs Holliday, Christina Robinson and Angie. They are only of the very few who I can resist hurting other then that I can't except for my sister nothing will ever change that, not even the masters their selves can make hurt her no matter what they put me through its probably why they leave her be, other than the bargain..... I serve in return for her safety.

Serving

For now I will serve their purpose, I will heed their words and commands for now but I will not let them take me fully I will resist and I will have my freedom back, It may take decades it may take for the rest of my life but I will die a free man I will die in my own ship not theirs. They don't know I keep the thing that symbolise me the most that keep me from slipping all the way for the one that symbolizes me the old Chris is the one thing they used to bargain with, fools. I will be myself again and I will restore myself without them knowing what I really am.

[color=#ffcc00]I shell never surrdener; I will never serve; I will wait; I will do; I will wait for my time.


First Order of business is to find out my relationship status.
Log end

---