*I take the jelly stained paper, lick the jelly, and then i begin to answer the questions*
Name: Sean Corelli
1. Do you like donuts?
No, i dont need them, really, i can leave them anytime i want! I DONT NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT!
2. Do you like coffee?
Yes, i like it a lot, i drink from 45 to 67 cups a day, but thats a normal dose right?
3. Do you like paperwork?
<strike>No, i can barely read. </strike>Of course i do!, who doesnt?
4. Do you have any flight experience?
Sure, i used to fly paperplanes all the time when i was in school.
5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
<strike>A couple of billions a week should be enough</strike> The satisfaction fo serving Liberty in enough for me.
6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
"Work" is a harsh word, i prefer the term "productive recreation"
7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Liberator, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
As long as i get payed extra for every eject pod i use/discard/damage/try/accidentally eject, no.
8. Are you disgruntled?
Nevah! Long live the... *checks the beginging of the aplication* LPI!
*i stand up, wake up the sleeping man, and then i leave the office*
*I walk in, see a sleeping man useing a half eaten donut as a pillow, sooo tempting that donut...*
Name: Jonathan Cordwell
1. Do you like donuts?
Does a ship need fuel?
2. Do you like coffee?
I always convert one of the 2 ships tanks to contain coffee or maybe both.
3. Do you like paperwork?
Yes, papercuts are fun.
4. Do you have any flight experience?
Yes, i prefere anything with a cupholder and a seat for a copilot for a box of donuts..
5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
A box of nothing and a sleeples night from dreaming about geting shot at the next day.
6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
Define work.
7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Liberator, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
YES SIR!
8. Are you disgruntled?
I never saw that guy befor.
*I hand in the paper in the designated box, smell the donut and leave*
Rule with most violations: Server Rule 6.6 (look it up!!!
A man walks into the office with 2 followers by his side.
Hello! I am Quintus Romanus! I've been brought here by some kind of time thingy that appeared in my villa! So... police... *the man notices that the fat man is asleep* Hey, you can sleep after you have desert, but not when you're working! Do you think you will live if you fall asleep in a battle against Carthage? I think not! Hey, wake up!! *he notices the quizzes on the desk* Oh, a test! Dang! I hate tests! Well, I guess I have to do this...
1. Do you like donuts?
Donuts??? Do you mean flamingo holes?
2. Do you like coffee?
Um, Nero! Go check what coffee is in the dictionnairre.
3. Do you like paperwork?
Well, as a Roman Centurion, I don't do a lot of Paperwork. Mostly field work. But, I guess it sounds okay.
4. Do you have any flight experience?
Flight? Do you mean retreat? HA! Do you think any Roman would retreat in a great battle! I sink not!
5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
Hmm. Enough denarii to pay for my villa bills.
6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
Alot. One time, I had to face a battle for 15 minutes!
7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Liberator, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
Mass? As in the plebians of Rome? Anyway, I didn't get that question, so I'm moving along!
8. Are you disgruntled?
Gerrr... Yars I am! I barely get enough money from being a Centurion!
Phew! All is done! Here, sir...... HEY!!! WAKE UP!!!........ Thats does it! Nero! Flavius! Go and lift that man off his seat.
*The Leiggionarres go and try to lift the fat man up. The Leiggionarres struggle*
Nero: Sir! We can't! He- it's heavier than an Onager!!
Quintus: Weak FOOLS! Whatever! Leave him be! No... Leave US be!.... Oh, and Flavius! My wine!!
*Quintus crosses and puts his legs up on the desk and waits patiently*
LSF officer Drake Matthews lands on the station disgruntled with his superiors of the LSF. He sees a sign that says "LPI is recruiting now, do you have what it takes?!".
-Sure as hell I do!.
Drake walks to the LPI offices and sees a lovely secretary behind a desk, dunking a donut in a cup of coffee.
-Hello miss, I'm here to fill in the LPI recruitment form.
the woman gives him a sheet sheet of paper and a pen and tells him to sit at a free desk in the room to the right of her.
Drake walks into the room and sees several other people filling in the form. He also notices a rather large man ,that is supposed watch these people he thinks, but is sleeping behind his desk.
He goes to a free desk and starts filling out the test.
1. Do you like donuts?
You can never have enough donuts, that's what i say.
2. Do you like coffee?
Ah a good cup 'o joe, that always hits the spot.
3. Do you like paperwork?
I always try to make sure that there is no paperwork to be filled out.
4. Do you have any flight experience?
I was a cargo pilot before I joined the LSF, then I flew patrols with the LSF, with some combat involved.
5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
If I get my coffee and donuts every day I'm happy, I can trade those with other police in the liberty system for real credits.
6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
I can try to work for some time other times i'll just eat some donuts
7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Liberator, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
No, not really as long as I get my fair share of donuts.
8. Are you disgruntled?
With the LSF I am...so that's why I am trying to transfer to this unit.
He stands up puts the piece of paper quitley next to the sleeping man, who is drooling on some other volunteers application form, and walk out of the office.
"tim about MGS4"' Wrote:That man grunts so often in the place of formulating actual syllables, I could close my eyes and swear I was watching porn.
James Gray entered the LPI office. He was a strange person indeed, slim tall body, long brown hair and never disappearing wide-smile on his face. Today he was wearing his favorite T-shirt. Very shine orange color with a big title "My other car is fully functional battlestation". When se saw the recruitment officer his smile was getting even wider. He was looking on the snoring man for a while, then he took his wallet from his pocket, took out all the money and returned it. Then he sticked a paper on his back. There was a text on the paper : To get a donut, touch my butt. Now, James was satisfied. "Time to wake up grandpa!" Man slowly wake and after short talk gave the paper for new recruits to James. " Time to start then... "
1. Do you like donuts?
Yes. *scratches on head* I think so.
2. Do you like coffee?
Yes, coffein is very important fr my existence... Its the essence of my life.
3. Do you like paperwork?
I dont know that food. Is it from Kusari?
4. Do you have any flight experience?
<strike>Hell yeah after the marijuana combined with alcohol we are "flying highhhhhttt" with my fellows</strike> I mean yes, I fly a starflier since early childhood.
5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
Nothing specially really, I just expect to get a mansion, car collection and a few ships.
6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
Wait, I will have to work? Try to say it again and Ill sue ya.
7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Liberator, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
Yea, I want Liberator, its pretty... I have just forget what I wanted to say... Yes. ... What is that God? Brother of Chuck?
8. Are you disgruntled?
When i was small Ive had a cat. I dont have it anymore.
"Goddamn, grandpa you are sleeping again." Firstly he wanted to woke him up ... But then he smiled, gave the paper next to him and searched the office for valuables. There was only rotten donut and milk which was turned into stone. "Do I really wnat to end like that?" he said silently, watching the old sleeping man, who had just scratched his butt. "Oh man."... "I have better go..."... and so he left the office....
After a min he jumped back in, took mans wallet again, took out LPI ID card and replaed it with Car rental club card "Need a car? Call 1-800-CRAP". Satisfiend once more, he left...
I buy things I don't want to make an impression on people I don't like.
Jack Wilson walked into the office. Wow....ive finally decided to apply He entered to see a large man sitting behind a desk. The man shoved a paper at him. It was titled "LPI Entrance Exam."
"So i need to fill this here paper out?"
The man nodded
Jack sat down and started to work
1. Do you like donuts? You Betcha, of course i do, im part Canadian
2. Do you like coffee? Yep, but donuts are better
3. Do you like paperwork? NAW, but ill do it if i have to....if you give me a box of donuts
4. Do you have any flight experience? Yep, former navy pilot
5. What is the pay you expect to get from this? Does i have to answer that eh, wait GIMME MAH DONUT, and i will be fine
6. What hours do you expect/can you work? gimme a box o' donuts and ill work whenever
7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Liberator, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do? Naw, i will uphold the law o'Liberty, God and Chuck Norris with ma whole heart....I WANNA DONUT
8. Are you disgruntled? Naw, unless i dont have ma daily box o' donuts
Jack dropped the paper on the desk
"Done"
he sat back and waited for a response
Just before doing that, he handed a set of papers to the man.
"This would be my biography http://discoverygc.com/forums/index.php?sh...try273994"
' Wrote:Jack Wilson walked into the office. Wow....ive finally decided to apply He entered to see a large man sitting behind a desk. The man shoved a paper at him. It was titled "LPI Entrance Exam."
"So i need to fill this here paper out?"
The man nodded
Jack sat down and started to work
1. Do you like donuts? You Betcha, of course i do, im part Canadian
2. Do you like coffee? Yep, but donuts are better
3. Do you like paperwork? NAW, but ill do it if i have to....if you give me a box of donuts
4. Do you have any flight experience? Yep, former navy pilot
5. What is the pay you expect to get from this? Does i have to answer that eh, wait GIMME MAH DONUT, and i will be fine
6. What hours do you expect/can you work? gimme a box o' donuts and ill work whenever
7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Liberator, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do? Naw, i will uphold the law o'Liberty, God and Chuck Norris with ma whole heart....I WANNA DONUT
8. Are you disgruntled? Naw, unless i dont have ma daily box o' donuts
Jack dropped the paper on the desk
"Done"
he sat back and waited for a response
Just before doing that, he handed a set of papers to the man.
"This would be my biography http://discoverygc.com/forums/index.php?sh...try273994"
Bagh corrupted post, some those offering donuts work with pirates and Xenos, whom can you really trust..
A very slim and tall young man just steps in the office. Harry Tailor has always been very nervous but clever guy... He actually made through some good education. Very unusual that he's here.. Well, anyways.
He spots the fat man with a donut sleeping at the table. Very nervous he tries to wake him up: "Eeerr, mister, could you wake up please?... Mister?" After a few seconds he knows what to do and shouts: "Free donuts!"
Officer falls out of the chair and wakes up shouting: "Wha... Where? Donuts?" After a few seconds of confusion he spots the high figure before him and asks: "Is that you, Colonel? I've been just doing all the paperwork, you know..."
"No, sir, I'm Harry Tailor and I'm here..."
"For the job. Yeah I get it... Just fill out the paper"
"Ok..."
Carefully he reads the test and gets confused already by the first question... After the third question he gets the catch and starts to fill out the test a little bit lighter...
1. Do you like donuts?
Well... yeah hypothetically... 2. Do you like coffee?
Yeah, sure. 3. Do you like paperwork?
[Ahhh... I get it...] Honestly, does anybody like it? 4. Do you have any flight experience?
I've got to fly?! But I'm no bird! 5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?
Not much, I just want to get enough to buy enough power to turn on a Manhattan Self-destruct machine... 6. What hours do you expect/can you work?
<strike>When I'm not betraying LPI with Lane Hackers. </strike>When I've got enough time. 7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Liberator, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?
Nothing, if the ejection seats aren't working. 8. Are you disgruntled?
Always when i can't accomplish something. <strike>Or when I'm looking at a jerk like you.</strike>
"So this is it?"
"Yeah, just burn the paper, I'll send you a mail and tell you if you're in. What's your name? Harry Tailor? Ok, goodbye... Wait. Harry, get here closer and tell me one thing."
"Yes, sir?"
The officer lowers his voice and starts: "When you came in did somebody shout: Free donuts?"
"Errr, well sir, errr... no."
"Ok, goodbye", he says with his mouth already full of donuts.
"Goodbye."
I wrote a really funny FL story, but it disappeared when the old forum went away. So, no lulz for you today.
1. Do you like donuts? YES but cookies and milk are nicer.
2. Do you like coffee? i like TEA because im British.
3. Do you like paperwork? no thats you're job.
4. Do you have any flight experience? 4 months woohoo!
5. What is the pay you expect to get from this? well i dno, wasnt actually expecting pay...
6. What hours do you expect/can you work? not shure (//untill Monday everyday!)
7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Liberator, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do? Yeah, can my patriot be less flimsy than the one bent around the lampost outside??
8. Are you disgruntled? Nope!
Thanks!
Ricky.
[22:50:33] ☆ҳ̸̲Ҳ̸ҳEternalâ Nightmareҳ̸̲Ҳ̸ҳ☆(illi): i cyber with leather torps (smoking)
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